Concert Chronicles - Poison (w Warrant) 1990-09-25 Ames, IA

Several people who knew me back in the day were surprised that I had planned on going to see Poison.  I was known more for liking heavier metal - Megadeth, Danzig, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, Metallica, etc... But I always had a rather eclectic taste in music, I just promoted the heavy metal image more at the time. Much poppier than what I often listened to but fun and light were a nice palate cleanser sometimes.  I also think the first few albums were half great (although the album cover of Open Up was terrible..and the others weren't great either).  Talk Dirty To Me, Nothin' but a Good Time, Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Ride the Wind, and Something to Believe In...they all make for an amazing greatest hits album.  I figured this would be a fun concert and hopefully a lot of attractive girls to look at (obviously I would be too scared to actually talk to them, but I could look).

The opening band of Warrant was a detractor for me...I just couldn't enjoy them at the time.  They eventually brought me around somewhat later with Uncle Tom's Cabin, but at this time they were all Down Boys and synchronized dancing on their knees.  It didn't help that I worked summers with a girl who was CRAZY about Warrant and I had to listen to her gab about them all day for weeks and weeks.  I think she would have killed any band.  Just shut up, Rachel!

A week or so before the show, my friend Steve had overheard some girls at the mall talking about how they had to find the perfect matching outfits for the Poison concert.  So this became our inside joke for years of concerts - "Oh, we have to go get matching outfits."

We watched a few songs of Warrant's set (and saw enough of synchronized kee dancing) that we skipped out to walk around the hallway of the arena and people watch for a bit.  Being a large hexagon, the coliseum has a continuous hallway encircling the arena.  We thought it was funny to stop people and ask them for directions because we had earlier met two really beautiful women that had told us to "meet us at the end of the hallway during Warrant" and we had been walking forever!  Most people didn't get the joke and would point one way or the other...so we would go that way and look for more people to ask.  We then witnessed a fan vomit huge amounts of clear liquid across the breadth of one section of the polished tile hallway.  I feel horrible about this now...We SHOULD have gotten staff to clean it up or at least warned people, but we were young assholes.  We stood there and watched people outside of the vomit zone and watched people walk, slip, and fall into the puke.  Over and over and over again.  Assholes - definitely.

Poison put on a good show.  I sang along needing nothing but a good time.  The audience's lighters swaying in the dark on Something to Believe In was really impressive (the first time that I had seen such a large coordinated display).  One thing that surprised me was the Brett Michaels' dancing was SO jerky looking...maybe I had watched too many Guns N' Roses videos and footage right before like concert but Brett's sideways shuffle seemed downright spastic in person. CC also came off and totally insane or totally coked up.  I hadn't planned on it, but I ended up buying a t-shirt of the skull in the purple tophat because the colors were brilliant and eye-catching (the picture that I found on the internet does not do it justice).

On the way home from the concert it started raining - hard and it was very dark.  The downpour where it is like a constant waterfall hitting your car and it is very difficult to see and hear.  I should have pulled over, but I was young and stupid and kept driving.  Luckily, I did slow down some and I got a little bit of an eerie feeling as we were approaching a railroad crossing that didn't have lights or crossbars or anything really warning about it.  I couldn't see a train - just blackness - but I figured I would stop, just in case.  As we sat there for a few seconds, the rain suddenly lightened considerably and we realized that a train had been crossing the road the entire time - dark grey and black cars just speeding past in the near pitch black of heavy rain and midnight darkness.  The train was probably three from our bumper and we had no idea.  Thinking how close we came to slamming into the side of an invisible train still turns my stomach into a knot.

Another side story to this show - I bought tickets to this show for me and my friend Steve, but I also won a pair last minute from the local radio station (thanks again KDWZ or was this Star 102.5 this time?, I forget).  I couldn't find anyone else to go with me on short notice...so I slipped the extras into the school locker of a girl that I had a crush on from afar.  No note or anything since she had a boyfriend (and I was chicken) but I thought maybe I would be able to "randomly" run into her at the show and maybe we could talk about the show at school the following week.  I didn't see her at the show, so I am not sure that if she even used the tickets or gave them away (they were free to me, so I didn't really care).

Concert Chronicles - Heart (w The Black Crowes) 1990-09-01 Cedar Rapids, IA

I have been a fan of The Black Crowes since their first album Shake Your Money Maker was released.  Such a great album - Jealous Again, Twice as Hard, She Talks to Angels, etc, etc...almost every song on that album is a great listen.  At the time, their southern tinted rock and blues really stood out on radio.  Not to mention that the Robinson brothers looked cool as shit in their crushed velvet suits.  I didn't care too much for Heart.  I enjoyed their 70s stuff like Barracuda and Crazy on You.  Nancy totally shredded back then.  But their current album and All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You was just boring pop for me.

As a poor high school student, I could not justify the price of tickets plus the 130-mile drive. This show was a no-go...especially since The Black Crowes were just openers.  Luckily, I was able to win tickets from the local radio station (thanks again KDWZ)...and the station was even chartering a bus for the winners!

My friend Steve tucked the ticket envelope in the car's visor for safekeeping as I pulled out of the driveway headed to the radio station to meet the bus.  About a block away from home, we realized that the gas tank was basically on E and we decided to switch cars to save time from stopping at a gas station.  We were soon boarding the bus with the other winners.  As the bus was ready to leave, the local DJ/station chaperone for the trip made an announcement like "Everybody, make sure you have your tickets."  I give Steve a look like "What kind of idiot forget their tickets?", right before realizing that we had left ours tucked into the visor of the OTHER car.  Fuck!  We felt more than a little stupid.  It was not a problem though, the DJ had plenty of extra tickets (we weren't the only ones that forgot our tickets).

At the show, we grabbed some seats in the lower mezzanine and watched The Black Crowes.  I was still a little tentative about mingling in the large mass of people on the main floor.  Plus I am short and I wanted to SEE The Black Crowes.  This was a pretty big tour for the Crowes.  At the time, Twice as Hard and Jealous Again had been released to moderate success; but Hard to Handle (which propelled them to a much larger fame and audience) had not been released to radio & MTV yet. Actually, I *THINK* Hard to Handle dropped as a single the day of the concert.

The Black Crowes put on a short but packed set.  Rich looked cool in crushed velvet and Chris in his ruffle shirt.  It was pure and classic Black Crowes.  I wish I could ever be that cool.  Most of the crowd didn't seem that into it.  I think was a lack of familiarity, and I am sure they were bragging to their friends a few months later when Hard to Handle was everywhere.

During the intermission and Heart, I decided to brave the mass of people that made up the main floor of general admittance.  Being of smaller stature, I had a difficult time seeing the stage and not getting trampled by other people but was beginning to get the rhythm and feel for how the crowd moved.  After nearly losing a shoe during Barracuda, I created "Michael's Concert Rule #1" in my head - always make sure to tie your shoes tightly (and in double knots if possible).  About 3/4 of the way through Heart's set, I picked up a "fan."  An older (maybe mid-30s), obviously gay man would not leave me alone in the crowd.  He kept trying to talk to me (I'm listening to the fucking song!), following me around, and get me to dance with him.  Normally I have no issues with gay people, but this guy's persistence was making me very uncomfortable.  Steve and I left the show and hung outside the venue for the last 30 minutes or so.  We could at least still hear the music as we watched cars drive down the main strip in Cedar Rapids.  It was nice to get out of the hot arena and hang out in the slightly chilled air.

After the show, all the winners made their way back to the bus for the 2-hour ride home.  The interior of the bus was dark and everyone was starting to nod off when all of a sudden a voice from the back goes "Those aren't pillows!" and everyone cracks up.  It was hilarious.  The comedian in the back proved to be a one-trick pony as he proceeded to repeat this joke about 10 more times.

Concert Chronicles - KISS (w Faster Pussycat & Slaughter) 1990-06-02 Des Moines, IA

 As a kid, I loved KISS.  I still like them quite a bit, but probably not as much as I did when I was younger.  I loved the music, the makeup, the theatrics.  The Dynasty album was the first record that I specifically asked for as a birthday present.  I got it for my sixth birthday.  Ripping the wrapping paper off the album and seeing their painted faces was like opening the briefcase in Pulp Fiction.  I could just feel it shine on me.  It is one of my top memories.

I immediately went to play it on our record player.  It played terribly with lots of loud pops, skips, repeats, and jumps.  I was pretty dejected.  Eventually, I convinced my parents to return it to Sears (remember when Sears has a decent size record selection?) and get a new copy.  They agreed but it would be several days before they would have the time.  In the meantime, I listened to my scratched KISS album over and over and over.  An eternity later (or so it felt), we get a new copy...but, it plays exactly the same.  We figured it must be a manufacturing defect and I continued to listen to that pop, scratchy, skipping album for the next 5-6 years. I know, I drove my older brother crazy with the album and I am sure that the opening bars of Charisma fill him with dread to this day. I know this album is considered KISSco (Kiss-disco) but I still love it.

About 5-6 years after first getting this album, I got a new record player...and the record played perfectly (well as perfectly as a 5-year-old, child owned and played record can).  It wasn't a manufacturing defect after all.  It was the 1950/60s (and probably original needle) record player that I had been using.  This record player had belonged to my mom and was all I knew as a child.  So now, I could hear the record how it was supposed to sound!  But to this day my brain still misses all the pops and skips and will insert them in my mind every time I hear a song from this album.

So 10 years later, KISS is touring on their Hot in the Shade tour.  I still listened to KISS regularly and still had a KISS banner on my wall.  My friend Andrew was also a KISS fan and we decide we have to go see the local show and rush out to buy tickets (I actually won tickets from the local radio station to the show too, but gave them to my brother).  It is my first general admission show and I decide that I want to be in the front row and get the complete fan experience.  Andrew and I convince my older brother to drop us off at the venue around 9am (showtime was 8pm) to be first in line.  We are still not first but we are only a few people in front of us.  We waited and waited, slowly more people showed up.  I had imagined that it would be a group of people that I would have a lot in common with (and hopefully some cute girls to talk to) but the people that showed up early were mostly the 40-year-old stoner and boozer types that just wanted to get wasted before the show.  We were pretty much ignored as "just kids", so Andrew and I barely even talked to anyone during our 10-hour wait.

It was forecasted to be a warm day (and long for us), so we came equipped with a 12 pack of Coke, a 12 pack of Minute Maid orange soda, a box of twinkies, and a bag of chips.  This was a mistake.  It was warm and the two of us had drunk all the soda by about 5pm.  We had to pee...badly, but there were no bathrooms available nearby.  We held it but seriously felt like we were going to burst.  I am pretty sure that is the worst that I have ever had to use a bathroom.  But eventually, the countdown to the doors opening had come and we were extremely excited and we could somewhat ignore the bladder pain.  

By the time the doors opened, there were hundreds and hundreds of people in line and we were proud to be right at the front.  The doors opened and everyone behind us suddenly rushed forward.  I was pushed to the side and was getting smashed on the post between the double doors.  I could not move and I was starting to really get crushed.  Luckily, Andrew was able to grab my arm and pull me through while pushing at the others rushing in.  My left ribcage, arm, hip, and leg were completely bruised the next day from this.  Crowds can be scary and dangerous.  We got inside and had still had to pee urgently, so that took precedence over getting front row so we headed to the bathrooms.  Urinating when you have to go that badly is more difficult than you would expect.  It's like your body is clamping down so hard to keep you from pissing yourself that it is difficult to start to release.  Once we were able to finally get flowing it was almost orgasmic.

We headed out to the main floor (I thought there would be chairs! I didn't realize that general admission usually meant standing only in the main area) but after checking it out, I decided that my left side was too sore from getting squished entering that I needed to sit.  So much for well-laid plans to get in the front.  We found some decent seats in the balcony on Gene's side and waited for the show to start.  I was mildly looking forward to Faster Pussycat but didn't really care for Slaughter (Up All Night was way overplayed at this time).  Unfortunately, the guy next to me was pretty drunk and All Slaughter All the Time!  Before the show and during Faster Pussycat he kept regaling me with stories about how much he liked Slaughter, why Mark Slaughter was so awesome, and how much he was going to screw all night to Up All Night.  I continuously told him that I didn't care and that I was trying to watch the show but to no avail.  I thought about changing seats but these seats had one great advantage - there were some cute girls right behind us that had cut off their shirts to just below their breasts.  Every time they would raise their arms and scream (which they did a lot) their shirts would rise up exposing their breasts.  So with a little bit of a head tilt, we could see boobies were jiggling above us quite often.  This was awesome for teenage boys.  There was a lot of boob flashing in the crowd that night (I don't remember any at Prince or Tom Petty).

Faster Pussycat was OK, Slaughter was OK but I was really mostly just waiting for KISS.  The lights go out and the announcer says "You wanted the best, you got the best.  The hottest band in the world...KISS!"* and the crowd went crazy.  I was surprised at the crowd noise level difference between the opening bands and the main act.  It seemed like a lot of people were cheering and singing along with Slaughter, but that paled in comparison to KISS.  The crowd was loud and then energy was intense.  It was so cool hearing all these songs that I listened to for years played live.  I thought it was a great show - the music, the lights, the lasers, the boobs!  THIS was a rock and roll show.  The only thing missing was KISS wearing their makeup (and as always, I wished that they played something from Music From the Elder).  I spent all the money I had on a couple of concert tees (one which was later stolen and one fell apart) and a Crazy Nights picture disc record (which I still have).  I think this concert is the one that really started my love for concerts.

*At the time, I thought this was pretty clever - "Ha! he is doing the intro from the Alive album.  That's funny."  I did not realize that this was done EVERY SINGLE TIME Kiss plays.  I would soon grow to hate it.

Setlist from Setlist.fm