There's a Hole in My Soul

Now that Billy Joe's, my favorite weekly junk food restaurant, has closed. I feel an emptiness pervade my being. I used to regularly fill the void with Billy Joe's Mini Corn Dogs (MCDs).

Corn Dogs by themselves are awesome, but putting them in mini-form increases their deliciousness by at least a multiple of 10. All that tasty hot dog and corn bread goodness in a easily ketchup/mustard dippable, hand-held form could quite possibly be the peak of our civilization's culinary prowess.

Yes, I can still get MCDs at the grocery store or Schawn's (like the ones pictured above), but they are not the same. Don't get me wrong, they are good and do in a pinch...but they are nothing compared to MCDs freshly out of the grease of a restaurant quality deep fryer. I've experimented cooking them at home - oven, toaster oven, microwave, and fryer...and you just cannot attain the restaurant quality. I will keep trying, but I fear that with each attempt my memory of MCDs from Billy Joe's will fade a little and soon my mind will fall susceptible to sub-par Mini Corn Dogs.

Hopefully soon, CT and I will find a new weekly hangout that has a greasy, totally bad for you appetizer or entree that will fill my hollowness. I yearn, I yearn...

Madness...Takes its Toll.

My bro Ryan, sis-in-law Hedda, GF-Unit, and I decided to attend the second to last showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at our soon to be defunct hang out Billy Joe's.

I've been a fan of Rocky Horror since about fifth grade (1985-ish) when I stole the bootleg soundtrack cassette from my older brother. Still to this day when I think Rocky Horror, the first thing I picture in my mind is that white cassette with "Rocky Horror" scrawled in red magic marker. It was not what I thought. I was looking for some kind of heavy metal (hey, it said Rocky Horror - what would you think it was if you had no idea? Sounded metal to me.) Even though it wasn't even close to what I was expecting, it was still damn fine music...a subversive retro pop mix that has a little something for all types and a group dance much better than the horrible country line dancing that was to pop up a few years later. I listened to the music and played the crappy Apple II video game (which I didn't understand at all at the time - you can download an emulator here and play yourself although both look better quality than the Apple version I remember) for years before finally seeing the film.

I remember the first night I went to see Rocky Horror. I had just gotten my license (1990) and so was finally able to get to Billy Joe's for a showing. It wasn't that my parents would have had an issue with me going before that, but we lived a ways away and getting a ride was often next to impossible. So after years of waiting - I show up prepared for this amazing experience. Admittedly, I was a little naive. I knew people shouted at the screen, I had seen a few clips on various TV shows, I knew a little bit of the interactions - throwing rice, newspaper on head, etc... I was not prepared for how much the actual movie sucked. It is atrocious...but the music is so good. It is one of those movies that you can not imagine how it actually came about. you wonder to yourself "someone thought this was a good idea?" But I guess that is part of its charm...like Plan 9 From Outer Space, the awfulness is what makes it so good.

Upon first viewing, I was disappointed. The crowd didn't help. I just wanted to sit and watch the movie and sing along with all the songs...but of course the crowd is walking around, talking, yelling at the screen and just generally being annoying. I wanted to scream "Shut the f*** up!" at all the guys in their late 20s who were hitting on the 14 year old girls. There was way too much smoke in the air and the place just smelled bad. (ha ha nothing has changed much right Thursday night crew?)

I was never a die-hard. I always wanted to watch the movie and sing along instead of yelling back at the screen and for me it always seemed like way too much work to dress up, but I did end up going 3 or 4 times a year throughout high school. Usually I would be by myself and just kind of hang out shyly in the corner - a misfit among the misfits (hey just like high school!), but still it was a good enough time that I have a few fond memories of it. The last time I had been there was around 1997 when I came back from college...nothing had changed, it was still the same Rocky, the same type of crowd (actually I am pretty sure some of the late 20s guys were the same just now they were mid-30s guys hitting on 14 year-olds).

Hedda had never been to Rocky Horror (Ryan, GF-Unit, and myself had varying levels of experience). So when we heard that Billy Joe's was closing, we told her that she had to go before it was gone forever. Unfortunately, I don't think we did a good job explaining what it was...I think she was expecting a GOOD movie and underestimated how annoying the Rocky people could be if you didn't know what to expect. I had a good time though, it was good to relive that one more time. Was I now the creepy old guy hitting on the young girls in corsets and fishnets? GF-Unit took some pictures that will probably be up here before the end of the week...I may post one here later.

When GF-Unit was getting people to pose for one of these pictures, someone yelled "The original Rocky family!" But she busted them on that going "Original? I was coming here 12 years ago." Which made me laugh because I was about to interrupt saying that I had probably been there before they were born...and even that time it wasn't even close to the "original" Rocky group that always came.

For me, high school wouldn't have been the same without it. I will miss knowing that there is a guaranteed place to see all the tattooed freaks and goth kids when I am feeling lonely and alienated from normal society.

One more Rocky left...this Friday (2/6/09) at 11:45pm. I'm not sure if I will be there or not but if you have never seen Rocky or haven't seen Rocky in years, you should check it out before the chance is gone. I can guarantee an interesting time.

The American Dream

Instead of spending Thursday evening at Billy Joe's with Hetro Life Pal CT (it was a crap movie that neither of us wanted to pay for - even though I do like the eyes of the dumb girl from Mean Girls), I spent the night building a kit dollhouse for my niece, America (human). America (human) doesn't have a dollhouse so I figured that instead of using a cardboard box as a shanty house, I would get her one for Christmas. I figured that I could buy a plastic prefab Barbie type house or I could get a kit and put a little effort into it and make something custom made for her. About 6 hours in, I was wishing I had opted for the Barbie crap shack. I did persevere at last - 300+ pieces, half a bottle of wood glue, 8 hours, and much cursing later it looked like this at 2am.

Not too bad for $30. Next up will be some light sanding, painting, and using some of the wood scraps to build some furniture and accessories...and maybe adding a light. Then the unveiling at Christmas, talking her into a subprime adjustable rate mortgage, and foreclosure next summer. The American Dream in action for America (human).

A Strange Week

This week has been very strange and varied for me.

Roughing It

It started off camping at Acorn Valley over the weekend. Why camping? I am still not quite sure, but it was something different to do and probably the last really nice weekend to do it. It was a good time...nothing special but nice to get away from hectic pace of normal life. Plus a little naughtyness in the woods is always fun. We were at campsite 61 which was far enough away from most other people yet close to bathrooms, forest trails, and the playground. Our tent was a little smaller and a little more rustic than the one pictured above.

High Culture

Tuesday was the first show in this year's Civic Center season ticket package. It was a play called Frost/Nixon, about the way that the admittance of wrongdoing and subsequent apology came about years after he resigned. It was entertaining but I wouldn't call it engrossing. It didn't really make me think much or enlighten me in some way, it just filled a couple hours with something besides TV or video games. Would I have paid to see it if it wasn't part of the season ticket package? No, but I don't feel that it was a waste of time either. Elvis was not mentioned. Looking forward to Spamalot (again)!

A Journey to the Past

Wednesday, we (me, GF-Unit, Kinda-Kid) went to WFA to see Walking with Dinosaurs Live. It was a really good show. I thought it seemed a little short but it was a very entertaining show (if you have any interest in dinosaurs). The dinos looked pretty realistic and cool. The Kinda-Kid knew the big dinos were fake right away because there was a car thing between their legs that drove them around (although it was disguised so it wasn't completely distracting). The smaller dinos (raptors, baby t-rex, etc...) that were people in suits had him fooled for about half the show. He finally realized that you could see the actor's legs about halfway through the show. They all did a very good job, the dinosaurs moved very realistically and if you used a little imagination you could pretend they were real. We got the cheaper tickets (around $25/ea) and it was well worth that price. I don't know if it is worth the higher $60 ticket price - to me probably not, but I felt I got my money's worth for what I paid. I had a good time and I don't think the Kinda-Kid will forget the show any time soon. If you have young-ish children, I would suggest giving it a shot.

Familial Stupidity Part 1 (vicariously)

Tonight (Thursday), I am going with Hetero-Life Pal CT to Billy Joes to see Step Brothers. I think it looks hilarious and need a good laugh after the past few weeks of crappy movies. Also there is the added plus of bar food. I am not sure if the mini-corn dogs are calling my name or if I am hungry for something else this week...it will have to be a game time decision.

A Literary Event

Borders bookshop is haveing their Educator's Appreciation Weekend. There is a reception Friday night. I am not an educator but GF-Unit is (or is studying to be), so she really wants to check it out...me? I just find it hard to turn down going to a bookstore for any reason.

Familial Stupidity Part 2 (in person)

Sunday morning, my brother is gathering a bunch of friends together for a golf tournament...I think it is basically his bachelor party since it is opposite his fiance's bridal shower. I suck at golf, but I always have fun. Noonan.

Slap Shot

The Iowa Chops first pre-season game takes place at the Buccaneer Arena. It technically has free admission but I think they are asking for a $7 donation to Youth Hockey. I am excited to see the Chops in action. I am looking forward to a winning season for once. You should go...it will be fun.

I Like Musicals (and I am not gay)

For some reason, I really like musicals. Broadway type shows or movies. I am not gay. I think I like them because I have no singing or dancing talent myself...as anyone who has seen me dance or sing karaoke can confirm. I just really like music in general, so while watching a play or movie I get that extra added connection with a musical.

I didn't realize how much I liked musicals until a couple years ago when I was entering information on my myspace site. When listing what movies I like, I realized that most if not all were musicals. Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Nightmare Before Christmas, Labyrinth, Amadeus, Death to Smoochy, Singin' in the Rain, etc... There is just something about them that gets stuck inside my head.

Music is very powerful to me so even just a really good soundtrack can boost a movie's appeal in my mind...but when it is a great movie/play with a great soundtrack it is hard to beat. Think about The Crow. It was a great movie and the soundtrack was awesome. Every time I hear any of those songs (like Burn by the Cure or Big Empty by STP), I am reminded of The Crow and can't imagine the movie without its soundtrack. I don't think it would have been nearly as moving and powerful. Music has the ability to make the good great and the mediocre almost good. Think Rocky Horror Picture Show...the movie is god awful but I have watched it many many times just because I enjoy the music so much. It is similar to how mini corn-dogs at Billy Joe's are able to make the mental scarring that Norbit inflicts worthwhile. Music just makes things better. Did you watch Beavis and Butthead for their stupid cartoon adventures? Hell no, you watched it for the rocking videos...and the commentary they provided to go along. That is why the Beavis and Butthead movie was just average. They took out the best part of the show and the movie soundtrack ended up being a parody of what it should have been. I give it a D+, if it had great music it could have been so much more.

The whole reason I bring this up is because I really want to go see Sweeney Todd at Stephen's Auditorium in Ames on Wednesday. I have actually been wanting to see the play for several years but it has never been close (actually I don't know if it has even toured before). Unfortunately, my financial situation at this time will probably forbid me from doing so. This makes me very sad. I am very much in the mood for some songs about revenge, killing, and cannibalism.

To sooth my empty aching soul, I have been enjoying Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Dr Horrible is a mini-musical that Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) made while the writer's strike was going on last winter. Three acts were released in July over the interwebicon for the world's amusement. It is incredible...Neil Patrick Harris (NPH) as an evil genius in love. Check out the trailer...although it is not nearly as good as the blog itself. Unfortunately, the actual episodes are no longer on the website but can be downloaded from Itunes (a DVD is supposedly coming soon). There are snippets on youtube and other places but I highly recommend finding the whole thing sometime.

Happy Birthday C.T.

So it is my Hetero-Life Pal C.T.'s birthday today. So I just wanted to take a moment to say Happy Frickin Birthday. I hope you are having fun at Iowa State today. We went to Billy Joe's to watch the movie and hang in the lounge...our normal weekly get together. We don't really need to celebrate because every day is a celebration with us (or something like that). The movie was Wanted and I went in with LOW expectations so thought it was okay and had decent effects...still more realistic action than Transporter 2 (aka probably the worst movie that I have ever seen in the theater)! CT and I have shared in many bad movie experiences together though so we are used to it. I am sure CT will have some interesting lessons that he learned from this movie up in the next day or two (jeez, give him a break it is his Bday and he deserves a day off...even though he has been lazy lately). We had fun hanging out in the lounge and hearing not-horrible karaoke while just shooting the shit, it has been a while since I have had other priorities lately (like getting laid). Anyways glad you got a lot of pussy!

Happy Birthday Cameron! Your present is on the way, I swear!

BTW- Sorry for stealing the picture from your site, I don't know if I actually have any handy.

Lack Thereof Will Leave Me Empty Inside

So, I've been unemployed for the past couple weeks and possible for a couple weeks more. It is nice not having to work but the stress about money makes it not worth it. But I do know that it is just temporary due to a slow truck market.

So having no money, I thought I would go hang out with all the other white trash at the Iowa State Fair. Luckily, I got free tickets from work before I was laid off. I've gone twice so far...and will probably go again on Friday - yep I am white trash.

Things I have liked about the fair:

• Eve 6 - I've always liked these guys and thought they had a good solid sound. I know some people think a lot of their songs sound the same and I won't deny that many of their songs have a similar cadence or syncopation...but that is just their sound. It was at one of the free stages and I wasn't sure how many people would show up since their biggest hit "Inside Out" was 10 years ago and although they have had some minor hits since, I didn't know if there was a following. It was packed. Lots of teenagers showed up to rock with the band and that made me happy. It was a good show, I had a great time.

• Tattoo Sleeves - A bunch of places where giving out temporary tattoos to all the kids, so many young kids went all out and basically had full sleeves of temporary tattoos. It was pretty funny seeing 8 year old girls all tatted up.

• Corn Dogs - who doesn't love them. I often eat the mini-version while at Billy Joe's, but when at the fair you have to try it's big brother. I am a big fan of all foods on a stick....plus ordering them always reminds me of the hilarious but short lived TV show "Life on a Stick."

• We're Here, We're Queer... - Gay and lesbian couples don't bother me. I figure that you have to do what makes you happy and while you are at it why not be proud? Anyhow, I spotted a lesbian couple (mullets and all) and one had a t-shirt of the postal stamp of Dike, IA really big on the shoulder. I thought that was pretty funny. I am sure Dike's chamber of commerce would be proud.

• Animals - Although I am from Iowa, I am not really a farm kid. I have seen sheep, cows, goats, etc... but don't get to spend a lot of up close time with them. So I think it is cool seeing them all up close. The exotic breeds are cool too...especially the mini-zebu cows.

Of course, there are also many things that I don't like about the fair...I will get to those in a later. post.