Missing a Stuffed Tiger

Growing up, most newspaper comic strips sucked.  I like Garfield and Peanuts when I was 7-10 years old or so, but I tired of them.  There rest just didn't interest me: B.C., Marmaduke, Rex Morgan MD, Blondie, etc...and then of course The Family Circus is there just waiting to suck.  I would read over all the comics, because I they were comics and I was a kid...I was supposed to like them right?  But I didn't.  Sure some, like Bloom County, were way over my head, but mostly I just didn't think comic strips were funny and was unable to relate to most.  I did not see myself reflected...not even in the all-American Family Circus Keane family.  Thankfully, there was The Far Side to keep me entertained with geek and wiener dog jokes.  But The Far Side wasn't on "the comics" page in our newspaper, so it always seemed separate from the rest.  I read The Far Side and spent about 10 seconds on the rest of the comics page.

That changed when Calvin & Hobbes appeared.  I am not sure when exactly that happened in our local paper, but would guess sometime in 1986.  Calvin made sense...a wild imagination, making huge messes, questioning his parents, often in trouble, and had a best pal stuffed animal (mine was a monkey).  I could easily identify with Calvin and his adventures were a joy to read.  Even more than just relating, Calvin was often times laugh out loud funny.  I read Calvin and Hobbes religiously for years until I went to college.  During college my dorm "house" had a subscription to the paper, but rarely was it actually available...someone always got up early to grab it and check sports scores and it almost never made it back to our lounge for others to read.  I lost touch and only caught a strip here and there.

I was completely shocked when I returned home sometime during my junior year and discovered that Calvin and Hobbes was over.  I didn't know what happened, I thought my paper had canceled it and I was pissed.  It wasn't until I headed back to school that I found out that creator/writer Bill Watterson had retired Calvin and Hobbes before it devolved into an unoriginal, humorless, formulaic strip.  I also recently found out that he lost some interest, too and wanted to try oil painting.  You have to respect and admire someone willing to walk away from a large paycheck in order to keep your art from falling into mediocrity and pursue other interests.  That is a tough thing to do....but it isn't the only time that Bill took a stand.

I can't believe that Charles Schulz
would approve of this shirt that my
friend Dani happened upon (and was
rightly horrified by).

I've always respected Bill for not licensing Calvin and Hobbes (except for a couple calendars in the late 80s).  It made the comic strip special, since it was the only place to see them...you didn't see a stuffed plush Hobbes in the stores, you didn't see the Calvin & Hobbes & Friends cartoon on Saturday morning, you didn't didn't see t-shirts in the mall with Calvin and his G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) sign, and you didn't see the Calvin and Hobbes McDonalds Happy Meal toys.  Unfortunately, all you see is bootleg decals of Calvin pissing on one thing or another...or even worse Calvin  praying to the cross (hmmm, promoting your Christianity by using a stolen image...especially of a character that didn't pray in the comic...seems like some kind of hypocrisy).  If you didn't read the comic, you didn't see Calvin and Hobbes - which created a special relationship between the reader and the strip...it was more like being friends that would meet for a few minutes each morning instead of a feeling of being bombarded by merchandising.  At the beginning, I really would have loved a stuffed Hobbes but in the long run, I am glad that my memories solely revolve around the comic strip and not a toy.  Calvin and Hobbes was huge.  Bill Watterson could have made a fortune by licensing Calvin and Hobbes...but he didn't want it to seem like the comic was just to sell toys, he didn't want to cheapen dilute his work, or have it transformed into something that he didn't agree with.  Thanks Bill I really appreciate your strength, it really inspires me to do the right thing instead of taking the easy money route.


This is all lead up to me saying that I finally got around to purchasing The Complete Calvin and Hobbesbook(s).  This book had been on my wishlist since it was published in 2005...but it is not a cheap book, MSRP $150, but usually around $100 on Amazon.  I didn't think $100 for 10 years of comics was a bad deal but still it was tough to justify...so I asked for it for Christmas several years in a row.  No one bit...I was sad but it is understandable, most people don't think of books as great presents.  A couple weeks ago, I randomly happened to notice that the book was available through my credit card rewards program AND I had enough points.  I ordered it and eagerly waited for it to arrive.  Dang media mail...something shipping  from Missouri shouldn't take 2 weeks.  It was torture.  I would rush home every night only to see my front porch empty of boxes.  Finally, just when I was ready to contact the company and say that it never arrived, it showed up.

I wasn't sure what to expect...I had avoided looking at this in the store because I knew that would lead to buying it immediately (and at the $150 price tag).  After opening the box, I immediately regretted not getting this set sooner.  First off, it is huge - 3 volumes weighing in at a total of 22.5 pounds, books are large format at 12.5 x 11 inches.  Comics are spaced out and don't feel cramped.  There is enough space between strips that you will not spoil future strips while reading the current strip.  Each books is a little under 500 pages...think about that, nearly 1500 pages of Calvin and Hobbes.  The quality is pretty good, hardbound, and binding seems strong.  I can't tell if it has a complete stitched binding or if it is glued in sections and then stitched but it seems pretty durable.  The pages themselves are heavy stock paper and feel very solid sturdy.  A well made book and a well laid out collection.  Most pages have 3 daily strips with Sunday strips getting their own page, other C&H art work appear randomly throughout...the kind of drawings that would appear on the covers of the previous collections.  My only complaint is that each book has a square picture on the front and back covers...these are mounted on top of the covers, instead of being inlaid so that they are flush with the covers.  I fear that some day the corners of these pictures will start to catch and peel.

I am very impressed with this collection and even though I have only made it through a couple months worth of strips so far, it evokes a strong feeling of nostalgia.  The introduction by Bill gave a little history about how Calvin & Hobbes came about and developed and why it ended.  It was nice to hear the story from the author and some of his thoughts.  Starting to read Calvin and Hobbes was like slipping back into step with my childhood friends.  Welcome back, you guys were missed.  I look forward to reading all about our adventures we enjoyed together and the ones that I missed.

photo by platypus comix

Next stop...I will be heading to The Complete Far Side .

It's a banner f*@#ing year at the Gubby household.

My birthdays usually suck...several years I have only received cards from the likes of my mom and grandma. Not that it is a huge deal...I don't really expect gifts but still it kind of sucks when no one seems to remember. This year has been off to a great start.

First, Hetro Life Pal CT buys me the Doomsday Pegacorn Clock (I am pretty sure it is ticking down to the destruction of Earth). Thanks again CT! I haven't found a permanent place for it yet...but it still brings me much joy. Assuredly your present this year will bring you just as much joy and agony.

Secondly, I got a good present from Marlboro. They sent me these cool aluminum dice.

I am not sure if they are really aluminum or just chrome plated dice (they feel heavier than I would expect normal dice to be but I guess that could be the nickel and chromium). Either way, I think they are pretty snazzy and will go well with Trivial Pursuit the next time I play.

Why would Marlboro send me dice for my birthday? Well because they take care of their smokers and I have been a registered smoker with them for about ten years...even though I have maybe taken two puffs in my life. I always figured that the cigarette companies are pretty evil and I want to do them harm, but I am lazy...so I will sign up as a smoker and get free gifts from them - no purchase necessary. Wastes their money to make it, send it, and hey I get free stuff - zippos, carabiner key chains, etc... You get a gift each year for your birthday and then 3 or 4 throughout the year (they send you a letter and you have to confirm online.) Do I worry about lying to Marlboro? Fuck no. I've had to breath their secondhand smoke for years and years when I go to bars and concerts...they owe me.

I like the dice, they are much cooler than last years "personal" ashtray...yep an ashtray that was about 1.5 inches in diameter. It had good weight and would make for great object to throw at some one's head...but utterly worthless to both the smoker and non-smoker alike in any other way. It was given away. The picture actually makes it look bigger than it actually is.

Anyhow, GF-Unit is taking me on a surprise getaway this weekend...so this year has been great for me.

PS - don't smoke, it is gross...but take those bastards for free gifts all you want.

Two Minutes Hate Tuesday

Wrapping Presents

I can't tell you how much I hate wrapping presents. I do not have the patience to deal with measuring, cutting, and folding the wrapping paper. I still do it because I hate gift bags even more. I am the type of person who is only willing to cut the paper once (and the cut is by no means straight - it is jagged and sloping and generally looks like crap). Any extra paper just gets wrapped or folded around the box more...sometimes presents are covered in 2-3 layers. Yes, I am that lazy. My packages often have way too much paper on the ends and so it gets folded (or more likely just smashed down) to fit the package and then taped well. I try to look at it as my package having extra padding on the ends in case they are dropped. I also have an issue of getting the ends to match - one end ends up being way longer or one end is squared off and the other pointed or can't fold correctly because too much paper is causing the middle folds to hit or even they fold different directions. Admittedly my packages are a disaster. If I was to compete in the the 8-10 year old Special Olympics Present Wrapping Competition*, I would finish in about 7th place. Wrapping presents is a chore to me, a necessary evil in order to surprise the person with your actual gift. Gift giving shouldn't be work, it should be a joy. I hate it. It just feels like so much a waste of time when I know the person is going to just rip off the paper and throw it away five minutes later. Don't even get me started on all the different papers, ribbons, and bows...that just complicates everything exponentially.
Actually the second gift I wrap each year looks pretty good. The first one is always a disaster trying to get my fingers to remember what to do (and yes I'm way too lazy to take the paper off this abortion and re-wrap after all my tries, follies, and failures). But the second one looks good...then I realize that I just spent 40 minutes wrapping one gift, it is midnight, and I still have about 30 to get through. The rest are hasty affairs and corners are cut, folds are not exact, tape is used to help conceal the shabbiness of the wrapping job. I am definitely wrapping challenged and am not inclined to change my ways.

*Note - there is no such event and even if there was, there is no way that I would actually even be competitive enough to get 7th. Those athletes are spectacular and could best me in any event. They have all my respect.

End Hate

P.S. - Congratulations to Daron and Josh on your new iPod locks. Still one left if anyone is interested.