Mama Says It's From the Devil

I am not a big football fan. Until about 3 years ago, I could claim never to have watched an entire football game. I went to a grand total of two in high school and one in college...but even then ended up talking to people instead of watching.

Football was just too slow for me. I understand all the time management aspects of the game and get the strategy involved, but that doesn't stop it from driving me nuts. I hate there being time left in the game and the teams walking off the field because the offensive team would be able to kill all the remaining time. I think if there is time, you should be forced to play. Walking out with time remaining just seems like the baby way of doing it, play out the clock. Plus, it drives me crazy when a team is at Fourth and Short and they kick. Seriously? You don't have enough faith in your team to make one yard? Go for it, kicking makes you look worried and that you have to play it safe (in my opinion at least). Personally, I am for always going for it on 3 or less yards.

Anyhow, this is not a post to complain about football, it is actually about my football experience over the weekend. My hetero-life-pal CT invited me to the Iowa State Cyclones game on Saturday. I made sure to let him know about my "meh" feelings on football and to make sure that I am a last resort. I am comfortable in my position as last resort in this situation. I was the only one able (maybe willing, I am not sure) to make it.

I had a very good time even though it was more than a little chilly (I think it was 32 degrees F after the game). CT and friends had a very good tailgating system down and we enjoyed burgers, brats, and pork sandwiches. All excellent...thanks for cooking CT, it really hit the spot. I had a good time tailgating and just talking. I even enjoyed the game itself. I've watched enough football in the past few years that I don't get lost or bored...and understand the slowness of the game, even if I don't agree with it. I know next to nothing about standings, or how well a team is doing but I didn't need it to have fun. Really the only thing that was disappointing about the day was that the cheerleaders were wearing windbreaker outfits...I was looking forward to seeing some scantily clad women do weird things with their bodies (I suppose I could always head to the strip club).

Probably my favorite part of the whole experience was CT wanting to punch Ed Wilson, the local weatherman, the next time he saw him. The forecast given for the game was about 10 degrees warmer, sunny, and no wind...and CT and many others dressed according to this forecast. It was chilly, cloudy, and windy. Ed Wilson, ended up walking by before the game...and we were all "Get him, get him" but CT restrained himself due to the fact that Ed was with his kids. Ed, if you ever get punched by a stranger who then yells "You know why!" I know nothing about it (but this is fair warning).

Thanks again for the invite, it was a cold but fun day.

Two Minute Hate Tuesday

Iowa State Choose Your Own Adventure Commercials


Central Iowans have probably seen the ISU's Choose Your Own Adventure commercials. They started out last year (maybe two) with semi-famous / semi-prominent people who went to ISU giving a kind of high point tour of the college. I think one was a playwright and the next was a journalist...I don't really remember because I've already graduated from college and don't plan on going back. The commercials would feature the person in various places around the college campus saying "This is where I..." - studied for chemistry, decided to try a one person play, was told that I would make a great journalist, etc... Nothing really spectacular but still vaguely interesting about how their college careers had changed along the way. I thought this was a pretty good college slogan because like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, you are often trying different paths and not sure where you will end up. It is all part of the journey. Well played ISU.



This year the commercials have devolved into supposedly current students (they could be students, they could be actors - I don't know), just randomly saying stuff that they want to do or know. Here is an example:


I understand what it is trying to say: There is a lot that you can do and explore at Iowa State but they always seem to throw in one stupid desire that has nothing to do with the school. In this case, it is "Be in a band." Sure there are various bands in the music department, but I don't think this is what she is talking about. Even this is mild compared to some of the other commercials. The one the drives me crazy is this dork saying all these things like "I want to cover a major news story. No, I want to be in a major news story...." Of course, he doesn't specify what part of a major news story he wants to be in, so lets all assume that he ends up getting busted for Date Rape. This ad ends with the stupidest line I have ever heard in a college commercial (let me emphasize EVER): "I want to know what a quesadilla is." A quesadilla? Really? You are 17 years old (at minimum) and you don't know what a quesadilla is? There are no Taco Bells in your town? Here you go: Quesadilla...I just saved you 4 years and $40,000. Sorry to say it but I don't think college is going to help you. You will probably be too distracted by such strange and foreign objects as Tacos, Spaghetti, and Canadian Bacon...watch out for the Sweet and Sour Oriental Chicken, it is a real doozy. I don't want to blow your mind. Really...this is the kind of student that ISU wants to attract? Someone who doesn't know what a quesadilla is. Talk about celebrating mediocrity.

End Hate.