Lies

Hallmark, why do you have to turn this store into a house of lies?  I am not fluent in "bird talk" but I am pretty sure Woodstock is NOT saying the same thing in both of these cards.  Looking at the tweet hashes the phrasing is not the same at all.  Also am I supposed to believe that the same sentence can be said in 9 or 50 characters?  I suppose you could argue that the longer phrase is because it is all capitalized...but I don't see Woodstock being a bird that would yell "HOPE YOU GET WELL SOON".  I get the feeling that this is like when someone gets what they think are badass Chinese characters tattooed on themselves, but in reality it does not mean what they think it means.  The writers are being lazy and not taking time to be consistent and just write whatever they want...because who is going to notice?

I noticed.  The cards were 3 feet apart.  Now I am not sure that I trust you...maybe I am getting a card that I think says "Hope you get well soon" but what it really says is "Stop being a cry baby.  Oh boo-hoo, you have ebola."  Do I take the risk and send that card to my sick grandma?  Maybe, just maybe she is fluent in bird talk.

Hallmark, please stop turning Woodstock into a liar.

Hope you get well soon.

Stop being a cry baby.  Oh boo-hoo, you have ebola.

Once Again a Failure

For the past few years I have been celebrating No-Shave November. I hate having facial hair but also hate shaving and completely lazy. November is my designated month to not even shave my normal two times a week.


No-Shave November exists for a few reasons


A) gives me a chance to hit snooze again in the morning, I hate getting up when the weather starts changing to winter.

B) gives me an excuse to look all scruffy (besides being totally lazy)

C) makes me appreciate shaving for a couple months afterwards

D) lets me see if I have matured into an adult male able to grow a beard.


I am calling an early end to No-Shave November (again). I have once again proven that I am incapable of growing decent looking facial hair, and would rather look clean shaving for the family holiday gathering. It also itches like crazy and makes it hard to sleep. Once again, I am a failure in life (even at my own, pretend holiday). Some day, maybe I will grow up to be a manly man who can grow a respectable beard, but it is not this day.


Goodbye scruffy, weak-ass beard...I will most likely kill you in the morning.

RIP - scraggly beard 2009

Yes, I'm Lazy

Yes, I have been extremely lazy lately and have not really felt like posting. I have been going through a patch of insomnia so everything is a little hazy around the edges as it is, so going off on some crazy rant would probably be even more worthless and sucky than normal.

Maybe soon though.

Why I Suck....

Well, I can be extremely lazy. Maybe I will post a blog maybe I won't...right now it seems like a lot of work on my part. Why waste those precious minutes writing a blog entry when I could be doing such awesome things like watching Paid Programming on TV (Billy Mays and Chef Tony are basically the biggest stars on television at this time) or playing sudoku on my cell phone. So bloggy, bloggy, blog...you may get updated regularly, you may get updated once a year depending on my fickle nature.