The Last Few Weeks

The Metalocalypse Has Begun

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls...Dying Time is Here."

The concert didn't start with that but I think all good heavy metal concerts should (as I think everyone should be required to do a Megadeth or a John Denver cover song). In spite of this the Dethklok show was awesome. I was really looking forward to it since I was unable to attend Prong on Monday due to illness...and I completely forgot about Gwar last week (although I still am not sure if I would have wanted to pay for them).

I arrived a little later than I would have normally liked due to working late and then having to head home to take care of my dogs (stupid dogs...always wanting food and water, some things are just so demanding!). I show up a little before 7:30pm...the parking lot is full. I was not sure how many people would actually be coming to the show. I know I loved the cartoon, but how many others watch metal music cartoons? A lot. The show was supposed to start at 6:30 but the people I talked to said that I only missed two songs of the opening band, High on Fire (there was also supposed to be a band named Converge also but none of the 4 or 5 people I talked to saw them...so I am not sure if they didn't play or everyone showed up late). HoF was OK but nothing really outstanding. They played for a long time...almost a full hour which is rare for an opening band. The singer surprised me at the 40 minute mark by saying something like "Thanks everyone for coming and seeing us before Dethklok and Mastodon...we only have four short songs left!" Four? That is the kind of thing that is usually said before the last song...and they weren't really short (although I guess by death metal standards it is true that they were not dragging 12 minute sagas).

Mastodon started off really good. I liked their first three or four songs...and they had pretty interesting and trippy graphics and videos on the big screen behind them. However, their songs all started sounding the same and the graphics started repeating somewhat and I started getting a little antsy around the halfway point. I had only heard a couple of their songs before and once those were over I found it hard to get into the rest of their show...and to me it seemed like their songs started becoming more disjointed (heavy to soft melodies with poor transition) and longer and more stereotypical 12 minute sagas. Decent but not something I would check out again unless I was more familiar with their music.

Dethklok comes on...err, at least they started showing a few animated shorts to begin the show. The first was with Jack Black's Brutal Legend character being a roadie for Dethklok. Then a clip of the Council talking about the dangers of Dethklok and their new plan to stop them. Finally, the band appears. I am not sure what to expect from a live concert from a band based on a cartoon metal band. I know from the show that I have probably a better than 50% chance of being killed while at the show and I made sure I had my Pain Waiver signed. Hooray, they actually started of with the Metalocalypse theme song. After their first album didn't start with this, I was wondering about the concert. I thought it was a dumb move not beginning the album with it because every night we (as we the Dethklok fans) watch the show so we are used to this song pumping us up and getting us in the mood. It was a great start. So the show consisted of the live band playing in front of a huge video screen that showed the animated band playing or their videos. It was a very good effect. And the band sounded excellent, so good that for a second I thought the singer was lip syncing to the CD. Not the case, it was actually Brendan Small who co-created Metalocalypse and voices the band (actually Toki and Murderface are voiced by co-creator Tommy Blacha but Brendan does a very good impression live. Very good). It is pretty weird hearing him slip from voice to voice with ease...even while singing. This is in part while Hatredcopter has become one of my new favorite songs by DK, I was very impressed with it live. Between songs were animated shorts bringing in the humor and many elements of the TV show.

I went in not knowing what to expect but was thrilled with what I was shown. It was a heavy, brutal show by a group of talented guys with a lot of humor mixed in. I would recommend to anyone who loves heavy metal, it is worth your time and your money. I was so impressed that I bought a concert t-shirt...I haven't bought at concert t-shirt (except as gifts) for over 12 years. I enjoyed the concert that much. I wasn't the only one...they ran out of Large size shirts very early in the night and after the show almost as many people headed to the merch booth as out the doors.

Here are Dethklok's official music videos for those not familiar (also check them out every weeknight at 11:45 central on Cartoon Network).

Hatredcopter

Thunderhorse

Murmaider

Picture By Ariy_Chan

Good News Everyone

Woo Hoo!

In case you haven't heard, Comedy Central has ordered 26 brand new episodes of Futurama. New episodes will start airing next year.

Furturama has been my favorite cartoon series for years. It is more cohesive than Family Guy and a little more mature than the Simpsons (although both of those are great in their own right).

For years, I have been disturbed that Futurama was cancelled while King of the Hill continued. KotH is OK, but it is not the brilliance of Futurama...no Owl Traps, no Suicide Booths, no Bachelor Chow, no human hating robots, no always hungry crablike doctors. KotH just couldn't compete and yet somehow it did.

Knowing is Half the Battle

Every boy I knew growing up liked GI Joe (and many of the girls). We would run home from the bus stop everyday to catch the GI Joe cartoon. Everyone collected as many of the figures and machines as possible...because Oh My God their arms and legs were jointed! How cool was that?

I was always confused by a couple things:

• Why was Cobra Commander such a whiny bitch in the cartoons? He was the head of a terrorist organization and yet he was always being a cry baby. He didn't seem tough...and he should have been tough. He should have been a total badass. I am sure they were trying to make him uncool so kids didn't want to emulate him, but that always caused it to ring false in my mind.

Cobra Commander art by Tim Seeley.

• Why was the Joe team's weapon systems so ordinary and Cobra's so inventive? Did the GIs spend all their creativity and individuality on their outfits while Cobra's standard uniforms allowed them to have the budget for cutting edge weaponry? GI Joe's equipment looked like standard issue US Military hardware. Their Skystryker jet was an F-14, their Mobat tank was an Abrams...cool in their one right but crap compared to the Rattler and the Hiss. Cobra had style.

The Rattler was an A-10 with wing mounted engines and the wings pivoted for vertical landing and an extra turbine on the tail for stability. A bubble cockpit and a machine gun turret? It was just cool.

Rattler Photo Stolen from http://forums.yojoe.com/showthread.php?p=371279

The HISS was probably not very functional as a tank, I don't think it would have been nearly stable enough. Plus it had two smaller barrels instead of one large one, but it looked fast and the driver had a cool uniform (I always liked the thigh high boots). I thought it was cool that two guys could stand on the back bumper area and shoot while the tank was moving.

GI Joe Mobat Tank Photo Stolen from http://oldgijoes.com/gijoe82.htm

Hiss Photo Stolen from http://www.amazon.com/G-I-Cobra-H-I-S-S-Tank-Commander/dp/B0017PU1I8

But we all grow up, the cartoon plots became tired, the toys silly and we all drifted to new things. Then a few years ago, they tried to reboot the franchise with new toys and new cartoons, GI Joe Sigma Six. I watched a couple episodes and it was OK but I was disturbed at the animation. The characters looked like they were teenagers...young teenagers, not the cool barely legal kind. Yes, I know that in real life that many soldiers are under 21. The new Joe look however seemed wrong. First, it seemed like it was selling war to children. It was hard to believe that these fresh faced kids were battle hardened ass kickers who were experts in their respective fields. The tech was also too futuristic, too unrealistic. The whole show just didn't mesh. It was too cartoony. GI Joe fell off the radar screen again (well at least mine).

A few months ago, I heard that a new GI Joe mini-series was going to be shown on Adult Swim. The new series was called GI Joe Resolute. It was written by Warren Ellis whose previous comic work and web comic Freak Angels I highly enjoy. Warren Ellis doesn't do "kiddy" stuff, his stuff is bleak and tough and raw. I still had some reservations but was determined to watch. Resolute was great. Cobra was an evil team of terrorists, the Joe team was special forces/secret forces type team. Cobra Commander shot his own troops in the face when they failed (Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face!). Actual Joe and Cobra characters were killed. Characters had depth and emotions. It was what GI Joe should be. Not necessarily a realistic view of warfare but enough realism and fantasy to make it a good show. I highly enjoyed it.

This brings me to the new GI Joe live action movie: GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. I was not looking forward to this, figuring that they would just make it completely horrible. From the trailer, I think this is probably right too. But yet, now that I got a taste of good GI Joe action, I am hoping that this is not the case. I am not dying to see this movie, but I am not dismissing it off-hand like I had earlier either. I am trying to be cautiously optimistic that they just haven't completely ruined GI Joe. We will see.

Two Minutes Hate

Esteem for New Yorker Cartoons

I like The New Yoker. I think it has some good essays and a lot of interesting content. However, I have never been a huge fan of their cartoons. There are about 20 per issue/week. I usually find 3 or 4 funny, 5 or 6 vaguely ironic, and the rest pretty idiotic. Normally, I would not care about something like that, I would just be "It's good or it's not." The 3 or 4 each issue that ARE funny and witty, just prove how bad and irrelevant the others are. My problem is that I have met several people who seem to think New Yorker cartoons are the wittiest of all social commentary (and saying I met several people means a large percentage, since in Iowa I don't know a lot of people who read The New Yorker). When having a conversation with these people, they tend to take on that attitude that I don't find it funny because I don't understand it. Their vastly superior intelligence is able to grasp the essence of the comic while my mere mortal brain cannot comprehend the intricacies that make it humorous. Umm, wrong. I usually understand them fine, it just that they are not funny to me. One example - the "green vehicle" made out of a giant banana? Dumb...not even original, I'm pretty sure I saw similar drawings from grade school kids (but then again, I am a simpleton). I just don't get why some people must defend the New Yorker comics as a whole instead of admitting that a few are just not good comics. Oh right, they're stuck up pricks.

I will stick with The Far Side to get my fix of single panel humor. Gary Larson, I wish you were still publishing regularly. I miss you. I can read and re-read The Far Side and it is always funny.

Amendment - I think in the past few years, the New Yorker has been using a greater selection of artists with a wider variety of humor. I think this has helped improve the comics selection over all, although there are still a few complete dogs each issue.

End Hate

Do you know Fred?

Do you know Fred Quimby? Think about it...

You probably don't know him personally (especially since he has been dead for 40+ years), but I can almost guarantee that as a child you saw his name three or four times a week...if not three or four times a day.

Fred Quimby produced all of the old classic Tom & Jerry cartoons...the ones that would cause you to race home from school everyday and wake up early on Saturdays.

Fred Quimby also produced many other cartoons - lots of Hanna/Barbera shorts, Tex Avery, and of course Droopy. It is Tom & Jerry though that is by far most prominent in my mind. Even as a little child, I remember at the end of each cartoon thinking "here comes 'Produced by Fred Qumiby.'" It wasn't until my late teen years when I was working with a huge fan of animation, that I actually start wondering who was Fred Quimby?

Before the age of widespread interwebicon, it was much more difficult finding out these types of answers. I went to my favorite book store and spent several afternoons reading about Fred. He was not what I expected. He was the head of MGM's cartoon studio...which is what I expected. I didn't think that he was a person that really didn't understand animation or even like cartoons. His name was always so prominently displayed after each cartoon, that I figured he was a huge fan of the art form and wanted to bring humor to the rest of the world. He was not and he was not well liked by most people he worked with. It is said that he really didn't even have a sense of humor. He was basically a middle manager between the artists and the front office...like Tom on Office Space (Well, look, I already told you. I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to!! I have people skills!! I am good at dealing with people!!! Can't you understand that?!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!!!!!).

Since I looked him up, I have wondered "Was Fred happy with his job?" Did he enjoy what he was doing and take pride in the awards that he won? I hope so, because he brought a lot of good memories to a lot of people. For his influence you just have to look at The Simpsons - obviously Itchy & Scratchy are based on Tom & Jerry...and the Mayor has a son named Freddy Quimby, plus just the fact that Quimby is the mayor of a cartoon town. So here's to you Fred! I enjoyed your work, even if you were working a job you didn't particularly like (aren't we all at times). Thanks for all the memories.

Favorite Things

Stop Motion Animation

I love stop motion animation. I know, I know most people who like stop motion animation say that it all started with King Kong (1933) or some Ray Harryhausen film like Jason and the Argonauts. But not me, I got hooked as a child watching the Rudolph Christmas specials every year (who wanted to watch a black and white movie as a child or even some gladiator type movie from the 60s? God Forbid! What can I say, I am a child of the modern times and was only fascinated with bright, shiny objects that played on my feelings that I would soon be getting gifts.) However, my interest grew more and more each movie or show I saw containing stop motion animation from Clash of the Titans to Gumby. For me, the epitome of stop motion animation was Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas...because it was a musical (which I have previously mentioned as being a guilty pleasure) but it was also creepy and alternative cool enough that I could like it out in the open without someone mocking me for liking a "cartoon."

A couple years later and James and the Giant Peach was released. I went to see it opening day and thought it was decent...but it had a touch of sadness to it too, because there had been several articles in newspapers and magazines leading up to it's release stating that it would probably be the last stop motion animation movie made because computer animation was cheaper and faster (and supposedly all the kids liked it more). Well since the death knell was sounded over a decade ago, I am pleased to see that stop motion animation is still going strong if not thriving. Let's see: a couple Wallace and Gromit movies and shorts, Chicken Run, The Corpse Bride, Robot Chicken, The PJs, Moral Orel, and of course the upcoming Coraline (I am excitedly reading the book now). Plus all the Lego shorts on Youtube:

Stop Motion Animation has such a richer feel than computer animation. I don't necessarily mean more life-like than some computer animation...but have a deeper, more mass feel. It just resonates more deeply with me. I am amazed at what these people spend years creating 1/24th of a second at a time. I suggest everyone check out Coraline in the theater, plus it's 3D. I think they call that Two Birds with One Stone. I am very excited about it and want to take GF-Unit for Valentine's day (it is not traditional but the traditional Valentine's stuff is so generic and turns out badly)...but that is all IF I can wait that long to see it, that is a big IF. And in case you haven't figured it out...yes I am a total geek.

Two Minutes Hate Tuesday

Destroying My Childhood Memories (part 1)

I understand people want to make money...and a easy/lazy way to do that is to make a sequel to a beloved movie or TV show. That is fine...some sequels have been awesome (Empire Strikes Back, Aliens, Godfather part 2 for example). However, sequels are low quality, low budget, misguided affairs. Disney is the master at this...but what I saw over vacation made even their partial birth abortions of straight to video films seem like Oscar nominees.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and the Island of Misfit Toys

This movie is basically the devil. It takes the awesome stop-motion characters from the 1964 Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (a show that I love and usually watch yearly although I haven't been able to catch it the past couple, which led to my desperation of trying to watch RtRNRatIoMT) and puts them in a new story. This probably would have been acceptable if they were true to the original animation and characters...after all I also watched the Miser Brothers' Christmas and didn't hate it. But no...they went the lazy CG route.

Original Hermey & Rudolph

New CG Hermey & Rudolph

Yes, I suppose you can tell it is the same characters (if you really tried)...but the new computer animation characters have no soul. They are boring, their world is boring, there is no charm. The animation immediately made me want to retch. I couldn't concentrate, the plot and story slipped through my mind as I stared in a dumbfounded stupor at what the had done. And Rudolph's nose? No longer does it just glow, it shoots freaking laser beams across the room...demonstrated by Rudolph lighting up a disco ball for the elf holiday ball (or something like that). I had to turn it off withing about 10 minutes or risk my brain dying. Oh and Richard Dreyfuss is no Burl Ives, that's for sure - yes, I know they are different snowmen (Original = Sam, New Crappy Snowman = Scoop) but the quality, the quality was the thing that was missing. Even Elf did a good job at emulating the original...and that was such a small part of the story that they didn't have to.

Stop screwing up the things I love with terrible sequels (this means you too George Lucas - I'll probably get to you in part 2).


End Hate.

I Have Achieved Cartoon Idiocy

Last week I did something that I always thought was not actually possible...just one of those stupid things that happens in cartoons. You know the scene where Daffy or Tom from Tom and Jerry steps on a rake and it smacks them in the face? I remember thinking as a kid that it was so dumb and cliche because who is stupid enough to step on a rake? Well folks, turns out that I am that stupid. I was cleaning out a section of my garage, turned around and the edge of the my foot hit the rake and BAM! Right in the eye. I expected to see stars or little birds flying around my head. I didn't but it was hard enough that I felt a little faint and was sore for days. Luckily it didn't give me a black eye or I would have had to use the excuse that I "ran into a door" when I was with the GF-Unit.

Anyhow, I just want to say that Sylvester, Wile E Coyote, Tom the Cat, Sideshow Bob, and all the rest of the lovable cartoon bad guys that I feel your pain with the rakes. And yes it really does hurt! No longer will I live in ignorance and laugh when a cartoon character is smacked in the face with a gardening tool. We must stop cartoon violence now! It is not funny people!

Plans for this week:

1. Strap some rockets to my roller skates
2. Fire myself out of a cannon
3. Stick my fingers in the barrel of a shotgun
4. Try to run through a tunnel painted onto a cliff
5. Get a giant U shaped magnet

Sincerely,

Michael - Super Genius

I think I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.