The Roots of Dorkness...

A Creative Commons Licensed photo from GP(MPK)

I have been into comic books for nearly thirty years.  It all started in 1983.  In 1983, Star Wars was shown on HBO for the first time.  Watching Star Wars on HBO was a big deal.  It was the first time you could see Star Wars since it had been in the movie theaters years earlier.  Remember this was before DVDs, and even before everything was released on VHS.  Our family didn't have cable...cable wasn't even available in our neighborhood.  But we were invited by some family acquaintances to come over and watch.  After watching Star Wars, us kids were left to our own devices in the 'play room' while the adults enjoyed some alcoholic beverages.



There was a pool table and various stuffed animals, but after a few rounds of trying to smash each others fingers with pool balls I became bored.  Looking around I found a shoe box.  Inside was a pile of comic books...they looked ancient to my eyes (later I realized they were just a year or two old, but had been treated rough).  They weren't the best comics - a mix of mostly crappy Marvel and DC: Red Sonya, Conan, Green Arrow, Silver Surfer, Aquaman, and Fantastic Four (some of these might have actually been decent but all were in the middle of a story line so it was hard to know what was going on).

Worst blog post ever.

I had seen comic books before but they were usually Donald Duck, Popeye, or Archie...stuff that just didn't interest me at all.  These were different - realistic characters, intriguing art, complex stories, anti-heroes, and villains.  I found these comics fascinating.  I guess I showed enough interest that the box of comics was given to my brothers and I.  I probably read each of the comics about 10 times.

This began an obsession that lasted about 15 years (one dorky obsession of many).  I was never a huge collector, but would gladly read whatever I could get my hands on (which wasn't much considering were we lived).  It wasn't about the money for me, it was about the stories, characters, and art.  It was a simple enough hobby, but one that helped me down the road to dorkdom and relating way too much to The Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons.  It is a hobby that still calls to me although I feel much differently about it these days.  It is a hobby that I probably spent way too much money on.  It is a hobby that I still see the impacts upon my life so many years later...but more comic stories later, this was just about the very beginning and how Star Wars made me a dork in more ways than one.

Sticks and Stones

I have been called Geek or Nerd much of my life.  I understand...I definitely am.  Yes, I play video games and I like Star Wars.  I read Sci-Fi and comic books and liked learning in school.  I've attended a Star Trek convention.  I was awkward, shy, wore glasses and my mom made me wear corduroy pants throughout junior high (this was well before corduroy made a comeback and was just considered horrible).

I may have once called my self these names but it has been years since I have thought of myself in those terms.  Not because I am all of a sudden cool and suave and interesting to the ladies...that I am not.  Not because I now dislike all the things that nerds and geeks love...I still love them too.  I stopped thinking of myself as a geek or nerd because it almost became cool to be a geek or a nerd in the past few years.  Lord of the Rings and comic book character movies are now popular culture.  Big Bang Theory is in it's third (or fourth) season and watched by millions each week.  Star Trek was re-made and a lot of non-fans liked it.  Internet memes that are passed to all.  Popular actors and actresses all claiming to be geeks.  People knowing who Steve Jobs is.

I don't know...I just don't feel that type of geek/nerd.  Geek and nerd always felt like you had to be an outsider by definition (yes, even though Revenge of the Nerds taught us that we are all geeks inside).  I just don't feel like a geek/nerd part of society.  I just find mainstream geek kind of weird.  Maybe I like being an outsider.

But what can replace these words?  The closest I that I have found to describe myself is Dork and Loser.  Both dregs of society.  You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me.  I'm a loner.  A rebel.  I proudly proclaim myself to be both.

The Carpet Does Not Match

While getting my hair cut last night, I decided to get my hair bleached blond. I had thought about it since my last haircut, but didn't know if I would actually do it or not...that is a game time decision. So I did...as you can see in the horrible picture below. I don't take good pictures ever, but especially if I am the one holding the camera. I am just not photogenic. Anyhow here is the horrible proof of my blond ambitions. I wanted it to be lighter and more white, but this alone took three bleach jobs.

My Mind is Messed Up

I have been been told by several teachers and professors throughout my scholastic career that I have habits, mannerisms, and idiosyncrasies of someone with dyslexia. I have never been officially diagnosed or anything but have had this type of thing said to me over the years by different instructors who otherwise have nothing in common. It has happened enough that I really do start to wonder if I did have some form of dyslexia growing up.

I think it would have been a mild case but I can see how it may have been part of my troubles learning when young. I had all kinds of learning difficulties. I was in pretty much every special education class (aka Retard Classes according to my brother) they had until the second time through third grade. Yes, I flunked third grade...it is a great story about a master plan that I will get to in the future. Reading, Writing, Math, Vocabulary, Speech Therapy, and every once in a while Physical Therapy...I'm sure there were probably others, I think there was even a class on social skills (that one still hasn't taken).

Eventually my mind just clicked and all of a sudden I was able to read, write, do math, semi-normally. I still read very slowly...but yet I love to read and read a lot. The only thing that really makes up for my slow reading is that I have pretty awesome retention and comprehension. I never had to re-read anything for school and that made studying so much easier...or actually non-existent.

I explored dyslexia and my situation a little more and even talked to one of the professors who could have diagnosed me...took some preliminary tests and was again told that I had inclinations that suggest I was mildly dyslexic. I didn't opt for more tests (because that is when they would have started costing money) and as the professor said - I seemed to have figured out a work around for my own brain and seemed to be doing well. An official diagnosis really wouldn't change anything as any treatment they might try could actually cause more harm than good in my case.

Most days, you would never notice...I don't even notice. But there are some days (especially if I am feeling very tired mentally) when my mind does weird things. Some examples -

• I will say left when I mean right (and vice verse). I know my right from left but for my mind will say the opposite just to screw with me...it's like the label in my mind for each direction gets switched around.


• I can't type well. My left hand will try typing my right hand letters (and vice verse)...they don't move over to the right hand keys, they just type the equivalent on their side of the keyboard. So if I wanted to type DASH, it would come out as K;LG. Which can be very frustrating since I am often not looking at my screen when typing.


• Letters and numbers replace each other...kind of like l33t but not on purpose.


• Typing sometimes comes out backwards.


• If writing with pen and paper, I will skip letters and switch letters around...not just once in a while like an accident, all the time.


• When speaking my R's start sounding funny...sometimes it will sound like I have a Southie Boston accent, sometimes they sound like L's (very Engrish!).


• It becomes harder to talk and words get mixed around in my sentences.


• Simple words don't make any sense.


• Phrases do not read correctly. Real example from today, I received an email with the subject of "Gain Executive Skills" but my mind read not once but twice "Gain Elvis Presley" Sweet, sign me up! Finally the third time I read it, my mistake was evident. My mind picks up on certain letters and will make its own sentences.

Gain Elvis Presley!

Favorite Things

Stop Motion Animation

I love stop motion animation. I know, I know most people who like stop motion animation say that it all started with King Kong (1933) or some Ray Harryhausen film like Jason and the Argonauts. But not me, I got hooked as a child watching the Rudolph Christmas specials every year (who wanted to watch a black and white movie as a child or even some gladiator type movie from the 60s? God Forbid! What can I say, I am a child of the modern times and was only fascinated with bright, shiny objects that played on my feelings that I would soon be getting gifts.) However, my interest grew more and more each movie or show I saw containing stop motion animation from Clash of the Titans to Gumby. For me, the epitome of stop motion animation was Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas...because it was a musical (which I have previously mentioned as being a guilty pleasure) but it was also creepy and alternative cool enough that I could like it out in the open without someone mocking me for liking a "cartoon."

A couple years later and James and the Giant Peach was released. I went to see it opening day and thought it was decent...but it had a touch of sadness to it too, because there had been several articles in newspapers and magazines leading up to it's release stating that it would probably be the last stop motion animation movie made because computer animation was cheaper and faster (and supposedly all the kids liked it more). Well since the death knell was sounded over a decade ago, I am pleased to see that stop motion animation is still going strong if not thriving. Let's see: a couple Wallace and Gromit movies and shorts, Chicken Run, The Corpse Bride, Robot Chicken, The PJs, Moral Orel, and of course the upcoming Coraline (I am excitedly reading the book now). Plus all the Lego shorts on Youtube:

Stop Motion Animation has such a richer feel than computer animation. I don't necessarily mean more life-like than some computer animation...but have a deeper, more mass feel. It just resonates more deeply with me. I am amazed at what these people spend years creating 1/24th of a second at a time. I suggest everyone check out Coraline in the theater, plus it's 3D. I think they call that Two Birds with One Stone. I am very excited about it and want to take GF-Unit for Valentine's day (it is not traditional but the traditional Valentine's stuff is so generic and turns out badly)...but that is all IF I can wait that long to see it, that is a big IF. And in case you haven't figured it out...yes I am a total geek.

Christmas 2008

It was a pretty good Christmas, I got some decent gifts (although sadly no Muppet Whatnot from FAO...in fact a shocking lack of Muppets involved all around) and I gave some decent gifts.

My theory of Christmas is a lot different than a lot of people's...I don't tell people what I really want...although reading this blog I have mentioned some items that I do love - but was not really expecting. I give my mom a list of things because I know she is busy taking care of America (human) and shopping for a whole list of people, but everyone else I will pretty much just let them figure it out. I am not usually looking to get anything specific - I more just enjoy seeing what other people think I will like. It is not a test - I am not thinking to myself "How well does this person know me?" I just like to see how other people interpret me. Does that make sense? There have been various levels of success and failure over the years.

GF_Unit did really well this year after I mentioned the Millennium Falcon quilt from Pottery Barn. She did not go out and buy me one, thank god...because I would have said "You spent $230 on a blanket? Seriously?" No, GF_Unit took the idea and hand made me a Millennium Falcon blanket. Big bonus points for that. It turned out pretty awesome...especially for being handcrafted in a short period of time. I can't imagine the time and effort that it took to make. It is much better than a $230 one (although I do reserve the right to still buy one if they go on sale!). The picture below doesn't do it justice. Is it perfect? No but it is much more heartfelt and it means a lot to me. Hopefully George Lucas doesn't sue her for copyright infringement. Now I look like a total dork with my Star Wars blanket and hoodie.

Homemade Gift from GF_Unit

Original Inspiration

Now if only I could get a Muppet Whatnot from FAO for my birthday...nudge, nudge, wink, you know what I mean.

60% Dork (part II)

I really love this Millennium Falcon quilt from Pottery Barn for kids. But at $220 for a queen it is too much for me...but maybe if it goes on sale. It really does have to be seen in person as the picture does not do it justice. It is a handsome piece of bedding for any Star Wars dork. Seeing the Millennium Falcon jetting through hyperspace on my bedspread makes my insides feel all squishy.

Bad news: I am calling No-Shave November off for the year. I think my kinda-beard looks like crap (although GF-Unit says she likes it...and Hetero Life-Pal CT thinks it will be good for the winter). It is also itchy...and I hate being itchy. So No-Shave November is over for me tonight!

60% Dork

I have long known that I am a dork. I've always enjoyed all the dorky things in life - Tolkien (long before the movies), Star Wars, Star Trek, D&D, Dr Who, sci-fi, fantasy, comic books, action figures...that type thing. I agree more with Dwight on the If it is dorky, I will usually like it. I just have never known how dorky. Hetero Life-Pal CT and I once went to a Star Trek convention...it cost $15 - I was expecting maybe $5. I was very disappointed in the whole experience, so I could always say "At least I am not THAT dorky..."

Star Wars was always one of my biggest dork weaknesses - Yes, I have watched all three original movies in a single night. Yes, I saw all the re-releases on opening night. Yes, I can quote way too many Star Wars lines. Yes, I have bought the Star Wars soundtrack on more than one occasion. What can I say? Going to see Star Wars in the theater is one on my earliest memories.

When Marc Ecko Cut & Sew came out with his Boba Fett hoodie last year, I thought "I am not dorky enough to spend $100 on a Star Wars hoodie." Although I think there are tons of cool Star Wars toys available now (have you seen the Lego Star Destroyer? Awesome.) I have always avoided buying them...not wanting to be the middle-age Star Wars collecting dork who proclaims his religion as The Force. Secretly though, I coveted the hoodie and had little day dream fantasies of wearing it. Today, they are having a 40% off sale. I found out that I must be 60% dork because that seemed a reasonable price to pay (still a little high for a hoodie but at least palatable).