Childhood Dreams

Monday was a long day.  Little sleep for a few days before and a busy, hectic day at work;

I was hoping for an easy day at my part time arcade job.  I picked up my brother, Kelly, planning that we could play a good deal of relaxing pinball after performing some quick repairs and cleaning.

That plan didn't work...thanks to some trickier that planned technical issues and some cross-threaded bolts (whoever did this, I hate you); my hope of getting repairs completed in about an hour were dashed.  It turned into a 5+ hour ordeal...and left me with some homework.  Thankfully, Kelly was a big help and we did end up playing a few games of pinball (sorry about making you work so much!).  We trudged out of the arcade a bit after 11pm and started to head for home...drained.

I was feeling pretty worn out...but then a distant image appeared on the horizon (OK across the parking lot).  Is that...is that...I think that is....is it, it is...The NUTmobile!  Obviously, I had to get closer.  It's after 11pm, no meeting Mr Peanut for me.  I would have to settle for a picture.

What an awesome way to end the night?  It would have been great to meet Mr Peanut, but I am sure he had many important nut-related activities the next day and I wouldn't want to interrupt his sleep.  He is almost 100 years old now.  I am not sure about the human year to peanut year ratio is...but I am guessing that 99 is on the more mature side for a peanut.  

Feeling better about the night, we turn the corner...and Oh My God!

The Oscar Mayer WienerMobile is parked in the same hotel...cleverly hidden behind this tree.  I have loved the Wienermobile since I was a kid.  Who hasn't?  I have never got to see it in person, something has always come up, ruining every opportunity for me to visit the grand frankfurter tabernacle. I was pretty excited, but made myself stay in the car to temper my enthusiasm.  If not, I was liable to A) run through the hotel knocking on every door looking for the Hotdoggers in order to get a whistle, B) climb the WienerMobile and ride that thing like I am Slim Pickens in Dr Strangelove. 

Wooo-Hooo!

I was a little sad, not to get out and enjoy the wienermobile to its fullest, but not being arrested for disrupting many a hotel guests or defacing a sausage shaped automobile; reminded me that it was all for the best. I guess the WeinerMobile and I will remain like two ships that pass in the night.  Longfellow knows my pain.  

What amazing event has drawn these two titans into a meeting?  I am unsure.  I can't find anything about anything in Des Moines...google searches show a lot of press about a visit last year, but nothing about this year.  I guess they needed to rest on their trek, spreading joy across the country...so it was truly serendipity that I saw them.

Which WienerMobile did I have the honor of (almost) meeting?  "OH I WISH."  The best one (in my opinion).  What a great night.  One down, five to go.  Until we meet again, #WeinerMobile, I will see you in my dreams.

OH I WISH - the flagship of the fleet

Consequences

Even though it was all for fun, writing this blog has really been somewhat of a life-fulfilling activity (there have been reasons that I have not been writing in the past couple years and that will addressed at a later point).  Writing this blog over the years has had a lot of great consequences.  I've met interesting people, discovered great music, shared and received fascinating ideas, and found a lot of humor in the world.  

However, the best consequence was re-connecting Angie.

It all started with a little blog post congratulating Angie for becoming Miss Wheelchair Iowa 2009.  I had met Angie through a friend nearly 10 years earlier, at a time before she was involved in an automobile accident and becoming a quadriplegic. Around the time of the accident, our mutual friend moved and we lost touch...until the blog post.  We started hanging out again to catch up and then more often as friends and after about a year we started dating.  It's been a wild few years since then full of ups and downs - we became engaged on Dec 24th 2013. 

One Ring to rule them all...

I thought we would take is slow, maybe get married in a year or two but Angie was all "Nope, let's do this."  We were married on September 6th, 2014.  It was an exceedingly busy 9 months of planning and I am mightily thankful that Angie actually handled most of the planning and organizing.  Angie did an incredible job and created a wedding that reflected us and preferences. It wasn't your typical wedding (we are anything but typical) but it was an amazing day.

We decided to do a theme wedding...I know, I know some of those are horrible, but we decided it would be fun to have a 1920's Hollywood themed wedding.  The basis for this being that we are both big fans of both theater and movies, plus you know the outfits back then were just elegant and fun.  That was our base point for planning and the ideas developed from there.  Sticking with the theme, I had hoped to get married at the old Billy Joe's Picture Show location since I was always such a fan but unfortunately our guest list (correction - Angie's guest list) made that space a little too tight.  So after much searching we decided on the Iowa Events Center.  IEC used to be called Veterans Auditorium and I had seen many great concerts there like Kiss, Motley Crue, and Ozzy (and yes it is where Ozzy bit the head off a bat); how could I have a problem with a historic institution like that?  I think it is cool.

Of course, Hollywood themed we had to set the mood...so we started brainstorming.  We let our imaginations and desires run a little wild (sorry, this is probably going to just be a bunch of pictures).

We needed people to know where they were going.  We needed a lighted marquee.  This was created by my dad.  He did a great job, especially because I just said - "Will you make us a lighted marquee?"  We didn't know how it would be hung or where it would go, but it ended up being incredible.  Unfortunately, this picture doesn't do the lights justice.

Our names in lights

Red carpet and red curtains were a must and of course our bridesmaids and groomsmen would be seating in movie theater seats.  Gold stanchions and velvet ropes to keep the crowd in line.

The walk down the red carpet

We thought it would be funny to have us photoshopped into various famous movie posters like we have been in all these movies.  It was a fun photo shoot and our photographer (Black Label Studios) did a great job of making the posters.  The frames came from the Re-Store in Des Moines - only $10 each!

Grease, Phantom of the Opera, The Princess Bride, Singin' in the Rain, The Wedding Singer.

Top Gun - close up

Refreshments - movie popcorn and candy...what else did you expect?  Movie film, popcorn, and the velvet ropes and stanchions were loaned to us by the Merle Hay Cinema (I miss you guys already).  Movie reels were loaned to use by Fleur Cinema.  Both are places we visit regularly.

Popcorn and candy waiting for the guests.

Our star ready for the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  We also pressed our hands into "cement" ala Grauman/Mann's Chinese Theater for our unity ceremony (probably shouldn't trust us with fire).  Unfortunately that didn't turn out as great as I would have liked, just too much rushing on the day of the wedding to get it done right.

Our star

We decided we were famous enough that we needed life-size* cardboard cut-outs of us.  OK, I thought of the idea because I really didn't want to pose for a lot of pictures and figured this way that we could still let everyone get pictures with "us."  It worked like a charm.

*not quite life-size - mine is a little shorter, Angie's is a little taller to make for more balanced photos.

Feeling a little flat

Real vs Doppelganger -
Is it strange that facebook recognized and automatically tagged the cutouts instead of us?

My grand entrance song was the theme to the Muppet Show.  "It's time to play the music, It's time to light the lights..."  Angie did the more traditional wedding march, but we left to Red Sweater by The Aquabats.  Seriously, could she have been more open to strange ideas?

Center Stage  - Fur stole and tails and top hat.

We both love the movie, The Princess Bride, so we thought it was only fitting that we convince our minister to re-enact that scene at the beginning of the wedding.  Luckily, The Princess Bride is also one of our minister's favorite movies, so it didn't take much convincing (Thanks David!).  Not everyone got it...but to us, it was hilarious.

Wuv, twue wuv.

As our minister went to change into his normal clothes, our wedding had a short interruption by Elvis who serenaded us with some "All Shook Up."  This was a surprise that I did not know about until the rehearsal the day before.  Why Elvis?  I had been joking with Angie for years that if I ever got married, I was going to Vegas and getting married by Elvis.  So this was an inside joke that no one else would understand.

Ladies and Gentleman...Elvis!

The Feature Presentation

The fun and surprises continued with the reception.  I don't care for cake, of course, I would happily eat it on my wedding if Angie wanted a cake...but she agreed that we should go with Rice Krispie treats (one of my favorites).  Angie had a Rice Krispie cake made with Princess Leia and Han Solo toppers.  We also had a large selection of Rice Krispie treat flavors including: original, scotcheroo, peanut butter and bacon (the Elvis), and Fruit Pebble.  Instead of a full sit down meal, we decided to have a lot of appetizers of our favorite foods such as mini-corn dogs and white cheddar cheese curds (it had to be white cheddar...I am picky like that).  IEC did a great job with all the food and I wish I had been able to eat more.

mmmmm....

"I love you."  "I know."

Angie then surprised me with a Groom's Cake.  It was styled after a pinball machine with a hockey theme.  I had originally wanted to set up my pinball machines so everyone could play during the reception.  However that idea got thrown out early due to some demands from the IEC. So this cake was a really cool way of Angie bringing in more of my favorite things.  I am not even sure what a groom's cake is, but it was really thoughtful of Angie...and also made of rice krispie (with marshmallows and candy for various buttons and lights).

Delicious, delicious pinball

Our good friend, Tim AKA DJ NSFW, spun records for the first half of the reception.  Then our favorite local band, No Good Deed,  played a set for the second half.   I would recommend either or both for all your Des Moines area music needs.  I wish I had more time to rock out.

No Good Deed

It was a great day...and we passed the line of paparazzi as we left triumphantly.

Here are just a couple photos from the day that I thought turned out well.

On the new pedestrian bridge in downtown DM

A quiet moment before all the craziness

Thank you Angie for all the hard work and effort that you put into our wedding.  I feel like a total slacker for not doing nearly as much and for not having the creative surprises for you that you had planned for me.  I love you and think that you are wonderful.  I am glad that having you in my life has been the best consequence (by far) of this blog.  

Thank you to everyone who was able to help us celebrate or wished us well,  Special thinks to everyone who was in our wedding or helped along the way, it would not have been the same without you.  We appreciate you all.

Challenge Accepted

It wasn't the classic "eyes bigger than stomach" scenario.  I knew from the menu that the sandwich was way too much food for me...but I wanted to see one in person.  Had I known that every other table around us was also going to order at least one and I would end up seeing quite a few before mine even arrived, I probably would have opted for something else.

Last night, Angie and I met a couple of friends went to Bennigan's.  For being a chain restaurant, I think Bennigan's does a really good job of providing tasty food.  Their Monte Cristo, Pub Bites (sliders), Fish & Chips, and  Pot Roast are all very good...but their Chicken Tenders are completely amazing.  Their chicken tenders pretty much ruined everyone else's chicken tenders/fingers for me for a couple years.  Going in, I knew it was going to be a tough decision.

That's not forced perception photography.  This
burger is big and taller than your beverage glass.

I don't make it to Bennigan's often...and it had been about a little over a year since the last visit.  Last time, the menu was all about mini-food - sliders of 4 or 5 different varieties, sampler sizes of a lot of different foods.  I wholeheartedly support this...I love mini-food.  I don't know the science but miniaturization makes food delicious.  However, this time it was all about the Big Irish...a doubling of their hamburger.  I am not usually one that goes for what I call "Hardee's/Carl's Jr Sizing" but for some reason this struck me as something that I wanted to put in my mouth.

So what's a Big Irish?  Basically Bennigan's takes any of its burgers and doubles them - two 8oz beef patties, double the toppings, with a club bun between them like a Big Mac.  I chose the Guinness burger - bacon, cheddar cheese, crispy fried onions, and a Guinness stout glaze.  I was surprised that it looked pretty much like the picture.  Good advertising there, that doesn't happen often.

This thing is big...about the size of my head.  The sad thing is that I wasn't extra hungry.  I just wanted to see it.  Angie ordered a regular Guinness burger, so I was able to make direct comparisons...and my burger was the big brother who played football and weight lifted in high school but now 15 years later is just a giant slab of a human...not fat, just thick and meaty and huge to her regular sized burger.

I wasn't really even sure how to begin with such a tower of meat.  I held it up to my mouth and tried to figure out the best way to eat this monstrosity.  After running the calculations in my mind, I determined that there was no good way to eat it and just started in.  I tilted the base toward me, figuring that the base bun is smaller and therefore I would be able to take a bigger vertical bite on the burger.  Opening as wide as I could and slightly smashing the burger, I still didn't even make it halfway - my teeth just barely nicked the middle club bun.  As I set it back down, I could feel the burger silently, Jabba laughing at my pathetic attempt to eat it.

I felt small and weak, once again mocked by the larger kids around me.  Fuck you burger!  I was determined, this burger was not going to ridicule me with contempt in its burger eyes.  I was going to stand up to this bully of a burger and I was going to eat the whole thing.

It wasn't easy...taking as large of bites as I could, I still only made it 90% through the sandwich in 2 bites.  I had to take 3 largish (but closer to normal) bites vertically to make each horizontal bite depth through the sandwich.  Each time I took a bite, it felt like I was smearing the burger across my face.  About 40% of the way through the sandwich, structural integrity started to fail and it quickly started becoming harder and messier to eat.  Much messier.  Around the 3/4 point, I was full and my delicious side of sweet potato fries was virtually untouched.  I thought about quitting but I continued the fight.  The last two bites were the hardest...I literally had to psych myself up to eat them.  I felt like that triathlete or marathon runner who collapsed within site of the finish line. You can see the finish line and you think the last stretch would be easy, but instead it just reminds you that you have more to go.  But I ate them, finishing the burger and declaring myself a fat guy in training.  My entire head and arms felt sticky from the Guinness glaze...but man that was a tasty burger.  Seriously, it tasted delicious the entire time...even when I was feeling stuffed and dreading the next bite, the burger still tasted great.

I was very full but, but I wasn't so full that I felt sick (surprisingly).  I totally thought I was going to be the guy from the AlkaSeltzer commercial, but after sitting and talking for about 30 minutes, I felt pretty decent.  Still very full but not uncomfortably so.  I usually don't eat a lot.  I am the type of person that can go to McDonald's and be perfectly happy with two regular hamburgers or gets the smaller 8 oz steak when eating out.  It may have only been a 1 pound burger but for me that is quite a lot.  A competitive eater I will not be. Adam Richman I tip my hat to you.

I just looked up the calories:  a regular Guinness burger is supposed to have 915 calories, so I would say 1830 - 70 (because of only a partial second bun) = 1760 calories.  Bleh.  On the bright side that was 20 hours ago and I am still not even remotely hungry.  I am both proud and sickened by myself for eating it all...it won't happen again.

How My Life Has Changed in 17 Years

Being somewhat of taco snobs, my friends and I usually went to Taco Bell instead of Taco John's (honestly, I don't think there is much difference although the Doritos Locos at TB are pretty tasty), but there were a couple times during college when a Six-Pack and a Pound would hit the spot.

It happens even less now...but it happened this past weekend.  Here are the differences that I observed:

• A 12 hour shift in the time of eating
• Females want to spend time with me
• Much less hair involved
• Hercules or Xena was NOT being watched
• Tacos & Potato Oles still taste the exact same

Don't be envious of my rock & roll lifestyle.

The Fluffness of the Fluff

After Jack's funeral the other week, we went to the traditional repast/luncheon.  It was a potluck style affair where (I believe) food was brought by various funeral attendees and church members.  I really like the idea of a potluck, but unless there is some sort of organization and assignment of types of dishes it always ends up being very light on actually entree type foods and very heavy on pasta salads and desserts.  I understand, they are easy to make and delicious...but a well balanced meal this does not create.  It also leads to some mystery dishes...what is up with that dish of strange looking peas?  Oh, it is some kind of tuna surprise, who would have guessed peas would taste like tuna - thanks to Kelly for trying this so that I didn't have to.  But then again I brought nothing (I didn't know about it) and I was eating free food, so it hard to complain too much.

mmmm fluff
(Photo courtesy of mjecker)

This disproportionality of desserts leads to the dilemma of choosing which fluff to take...because you know there are going to be several.  I wouldn't say that I am an expert on fluff...but I am definitely a connoisseur and this luncheon offered a wide variety.  I decided not to choose one, I would martyr myself by taking a serving of each fluff and declaring a winner of the informal Jack's Fluff Challenge - so that all other diners would be able to make an informed fluff decision.  This is the sacrifice that I make for you, readers and diners.  I counted seven varieties and the ingredients and textures varied widely.

The first contender was the fruit salad fluff - this is the fluff that has a lot of apples, grapes, strawberries, nuts, etc... This is probably the most healthy of all the fluffs due to the high fruit content, but that same content also throws off the texture.  It is way too chunky to be a proper fluff...it was dismissed (although tasty).

Second came a couple of red fluffs...I was hoping the darker one was raspberry but both were strawberry.  Both were OK, but nothing special.  One was not mixed well enough, the ingredients weren't well distributed throughout.  The second's texture was good but the flavor was blah...I am not sure what happened here, but it just didn't have much taste...even slickery jello blobs could not make up for a lack of flavor.

Next came a yellow fluff with caramel sauce.  I wasn't sure exactly what this was, but it ended up having chunks of mini-Snickers and other candy bars in it.  A very good fluff overall...but the fluff didn't really have much taste besides the candy bars (I think a banana cream pudding mix, could have really pumped this one up to another level).

Finally, came the green fluffs.  Pistachio is the Cadillac of fluffs...but every once in a while someone sneaks a lime flavored fluff in there and it is just confusing and not right.  The lime fluff was out - it might have been good in it's own right but when disguising yourself as pistachio my expectations made you taste horrible.  The finally two fluffs...both Pistachio, both with pineapple, one had nuts and mini marshmallows, the other didn't...but the main difference was the consistency.  One was super light and fluffy...the other was more thick and runny, almost looking like straight pistachio pudding instead of fluff.

I figured the light and fluffy one would win hands down because the other just looked like a mess.  It was good, but the runny pistachio fluffy was excellent.  Maybe it wasn't cut with as much marshmallow fluff or cool whip...maybe it was mixed too much and all the whipped in air escaped concentrating the flavor.  I don't know why, but the flavor of the was just so much deeper and with the perfect balance of pineapple.  If it was a little lighter with this taste it would be darn near perfect.

Pistachio Fluff - the most delectable of fluffs.
(Photo courtesy of Secrets of a Southern Kitchen - recipe also available)

Green Pistachio Fluff Wins!

Zombie Burger

The other night, Angie and I decided to give Zombie Burger a try since we would be in the area.  Being a fan of zombies in general, I have been wanting to try it since it opened a couple months ago, but this was the first time that it was really convenient...and it is October after all.  This isn't just a slapdash mash-up of pop culture icons. Zombie Burger is the creation of Chef George Formaro...you may know him from such local ventures as Centro and Django, among others.  If there is one thing that I have learned over the years, the food he creates is always excellent.  So what exactly is Zombie Burger?  It is a fun artisan/gourmet burger joint.  Think of a Red Robin but hipper and with zombies and humor.  They are not gourmet burgers, they are "goremet".

The restaurant was brighter than I thought it would be.  I was expecting all black walls with tinted windows...I figured they would go all out with the zombie theme and the whole place would be dark and dreary.  It was really quite pleasant with walls that were a bright green or a muted, neutral tan-grey.  The zombie theme was immediately evident with a couple large zombie murals, chain link fence, and industrial aluminum grates partially covering the windows..."to keep the zombies out or to keep them in," I wondered.  But it wasn't over done...the zombies were definitely just accents.  The zombies were evident but not overwhelming, which I think is better for the long term success.  Tables, chairs, tableware were all simple but nice.  I wasn't expecting cloth napkins but that is always a nice touch...just because you are serving zombie flavored food doesn't mean that you can't be all fancy and stuff.

The menus looked like newspaper, with all articles relating to zombies.  I didn't get a chance to read it all because A) I was hungry and wanted food...braaaaains, B) we were on time schedule.  But the parts I did read were hilarious.  My favorite part was in the Advice Column and the article started off something like "Dear Bill, my boyfriend recently became a zombie (his ex-girlfriend is a zombie, so I am pretty sure that's where he got it)."  It cracked me up.  The whole thing was full of jokes and sometimes subtle humor.  It was done really well.

Zombie Burger offers the following on their menu:

• Appetizers - the normal stuff like fries, cheese curds, fried pickles, etc... I was a little disappointed that they no longer carry onion rings, but they did have the fried brussel sprouts that piqued my interest (and their fries are supposedly delicious too).

• Soylent Greens - salads

• Bashed Brugers - come standard with a Special Grind Patty, but you can also get as a veggie patty, chicken breast, or grilled portobello.  9 times out of 10 I would get the standard patty but I like having options in case I am in a strange mood.  You can also choose your number of patties between one and three (like on a BK Stacker...but good).

• Rippers - fried hot dogs

• Brain Freeze - specialty shakes (alcoholic versions available).

I was here for a good burger.  I decided to forgo appetizers and instead get a burger and a ripper (fat guy in the making!).  I had made fried hot dogs myself but wanted to see how they stood up to a restaurant version.  I chose the simple Zombie Dog for my ripper which came only with a house mix of mustard and relish for toppings...I really wanted to focus on the dog itself.  I had heard that the Chef had developed a new recipe for the buns that made them really spongy and soft...and they were.  The buns complemented the smashed burger patty really well, but the bun really stood out on this simple hot dog.  Spongy, moist, and delicious...it was less like a bun and more like a really thick piece of bread, that just felt good in your mouth. Although the ripper was good, I would have preferred that it had been cooked longer.  I would have liked the skin really crisp and even blackened a little bit.  I know that is not for everyone, but that is how I like my hot dogs.

For my burger, I chose a Undead Elvis single patty.  The Undead Elvis has peanut butter, fried bananas, bacon, American cheese, mayo, and a fried egg.  This was a step into uncertainty for me...I really do not like egg yolk.  Just the thought of egg yolk makes me gag sometimes and to see someone dipping their toast into it on tv makes me feel a little nauseous (why would you do that to perfectly good toast?).  My good friend CT has recommended the Kill Bill Tenderloin at Centro to me many times, but the sunny side up egg always killed it for me.  I thought about getting the Undead Elvis without the egg, but then I steel my internal thoughts and gagging and decide to just go for it.  I can handle one egg.  And I did, the burger was pretty dang good.  The peanut butter and bacon was awesome but the fried bananas kind of got lost in the rest of the flavors...I blame the egg.  Overall, it was a very good burger and I would highly recommend it.

Angie got the Trailer Trash burger and although she only ordered a single, I am pretty sure that the burger they brought out was a double tap.  The Trailer Trash burger contained American cheese, fried pickles, chicken fried bacon, cheese curds, and ranch mayo.  It was also very good, but I preferred mine just a little more.  The deciding factor for me was the cheese curds...it was more like one gigantic cheese curd and about half an inch thick.  By the time I tried a bite of her sandwich (which was quite a while after we got our food) the cheese curd had cooled enough that it was no longer gooey inside.  It was just too much rubbery cheese for me.

Can't believe I missed this.
Photo courtesy of catmorley.fblog.me

I really enjoyed the food, I look forward to going back and trying more burgers...but the choices are difficult...already there are 4 or 5 I am seriously contemplating for my next visit.  The first visit was easy...how could I not get the one with peanut butter and fried bananas, but now comes the difficult choices (and hopefully room for a shake...maybe even an alcoholic one if I am not driving).  Plus I have to see the awesome bathroom signs that I missed the first time around.

Zombie Burger
300 E Grand
Des Moines, IA 50309

Economic Recovery

Even though all you seem to hear about on the news is the doom and gloom of the economy...I feel things are getting better.  Of course, my method of judging the economic recovery is probably a little different than most people's.  I don't look at unemployment numbers, home sales, or trade deficits...my feeling is based completely on my success at cart return shopping.

Cart return shopping is simply finding items and bags of items that people forget to take out of their shopping cart when they place the cart in the return area.  It happens more than you think.  I've found all kinds of things - food, scrapbook supplies, spices, beverages, towels, tools, hardware, CDs, and even a bank bag full of checks and cash (which I was hoping came from a large, evil corporation so that I could justify keeping it, but instead came from a local cheer and dance team...and so was returned to much thanks).

This is not something that I obsessively do.  I don't stake out parking lots and watch the cart return all day.  It is just something where if I happen to be at the store and walking by the cart returns in the lot, I will glance over and see if there is anything there.  9 times out of 10 there will be nothing or just used coffee cups or other trash...but every once in a while you find something worth checking out.

So how does this help me judge economic recovery?  When the economy dropped into the dump in 2008, there was no cart return shopping...nothing was left behind.  People weren't shopping as much, weren't buying as much when they did shop, and were very careful to get everything they paid for.  Only in the past year has cart return shopping started to pick up again.  It is not back to the levels it was, but I have found more things in the past 6 months than I had in the previous 2.5 years combined.  I take that as a sign of progress for the country, people are being a little more carefree with there money.

Tips for cart return shopping:

• Like Wil Wheaton always says - Don't be a dick.  If I happen to see someone actually leave an item behind, I will alert them to the fact.  Even if I don't actually see the act of the item being left behind, I make sure to ask anyone that in nearby if they forgot the item.  If there is any kind of identifying into...like a prescription pill bottle, take it to the lost and found.  You are not trying to take advantage of people.  It it a good feeling helping others out, even if it is just telling them that they forgot a can of tuna.
• Don't be afraid of the items.  I have been told stuff like "That's gross" or "You don't know where that has been."  Most stuff I find is boxed/canned items that don't require refrigeration...you know a 12 -pack of soda (this is by far the most common item forgotten because they are almost always put on the bottom rack) or maybe a bag containing a couple quick microwave lunch things.  I can also say with 99% accuracy that this item has been in the store, in a cart, and forgotten, I just don't see someone tampering with food like this.
• Refrigerated items.  I have found stuff that needs to be refrigerated and there are a couple factors that help me decide.  1) Is it still cool?  Widespread modern refrigeration has only existed for about 100 years, man survived before this...if it is still cool, you are probably fine.  2) How often does your favorite store empty its cart returns?  Mine usually gathers carts at least once an hour, so I know it has probably been there less than that.  3) Do I really like the item?  I will usually pass on milk even if it is still plenty cold because I don't care that much for milk, orange juice on the other hand will be made at home in my fridge.
• Some stores are better than others...and many things go into this including the kind of people that frequent the store, cart design (carts with a nice lower shelf are best), quantity of cart returns (if there are lots of returns, the person doesn't have to walk as far and will be less likely to notice a forgotten item).
• Go when people are busy...and forgetful.  Lunch time or right before closing seems the best because people are usually in a rush.
• You are not taking advantage of anyone (if you aren't a dick), not even the store...these items are paid for.  I have never found anything really expensive and if I did, I would turn it in...but what is the lost and found really going to do with a 12-pack of diet coke?  Would a customer return for this?  I don't think so...and I have seen the cart gather throw everything away that is left in carts, including bags of items.
• Don't keep what you don't need/want.  I don't keep a lot of the stuff I do find...if I have no use for an item - vagisil, baby items, re-fried beans, etc...  I don't take it, that is just something that I end up throwing away.  I leave that for someone else to salvage, I am not collecting junk.

Not Usually a Fan

I am not usually a fan of baseball.  It is just too slow of a game to keep my attention...especially on TV.  I am sure it has its nuances and fine/subtle aspects that I am not picking up - I'm not arguing that.  I'm sure people that love baseball can see all these things in it that I don't, I'm just saying that it is usually not a sport for me.  Games are better live than on TV.  When I go to a game, I do try to follow the game but I don't go often enough to really get into the sport of the individual members of the team.  So I cheer for the home team but don't get too invested into the whole thing.

Every once in a while, when I do get to take in an Iowa Cubs game, I always enjoy it.  However, baseball is only a minor part of the experience for me.  I like getting out with friends, enjoying a nice day or evening, watching people fight over blasted t-shirts or hot dogs and eating an awesomely grilled hot dog and some peanuts.  While this is happening, baseball is being played in the background.

Silky O'Sullivans on Beale Street

I hadn't had an opportunity to take in a I-Cubs game this summer.  So last week when I was in Memphis and the I-Cubs happened to be playing the Memphis Redbirds a couple blocks from my hotel, I decided to head down and check it out.  I had already walked around downtown Memphis quite a bit and my feet were getting tired and I just wasn't in the mood to hang out watching blues bands all night.

Photo courtesy of Hillary Stein @ flickr

However, it seemed like a waste to be in Memphis and just get a ballpark dog, so I headed to Silky O'Sullivan's where I had early been tempted by the Silky Dog sign.  I wasn't sure what a Silky Dog was, but figured that at least I would be trying something culturally new.  The menu described it as "scored and char-grilled with Silky's Special Slaw on the side."  I wasn't sure what that all meant but baseball puts me in the mood for a good dog, so I was willing to give it a shot.  It ended up being a hot dog that was slit halfway through every quarter inch or so...it was like an accordion almost...then grilled so that it had some slight char.  I like char so wish it had been grilled a little longer but it was pretty darn tasty.  I might experiment with this technique at home as it did offer an interesting texture and I think if you threw in some spices it might be excellent.  It will probably deep fry really good too...mmm, things to try.  I am excited for all the HD possibilities. The slaw was slaw.  I didn't see much special about it - it was good, maybe a touch vinegary but good.

After my Silky Dog and some piano at Silky's I headed over to the stadium.  I was late.  It was the bottom of the first inning.  I was shocked that there was still a line of about 10 people waiting to buy tickets.  It was HOT out  112 degree heat index.  I didn't really expect a big crowd.  Oh wait, there is only one person working the ticket booth (and that person didn't seem too competent).  So I look around and find some guy scalping tickets.  I don't usually buy from scalpers (in fact this is only the second time) because I believe in the money going to the people that put on the show, but I was looking at standing in line for another 20 minutes to get to the front of the ticket booth.  So I hit up cracky across the street.

"How about you give me $10 for this ticket right here...that's a good price"
"$10? That's face value - it says so right there...I can walk across the street and get the seat next to this for $10.  I'll give you $5."
"I don't think I can do $5...How about $8 but that's robbing food from my family."
"I need to eat too...and there is no one else buying tickets...I"ll give you $7."
"Deal."

I head into the park and was right...there is a tiny crowd.  They announce paid attendance at 4,800 but there probably wasn't more than 400 people there.  It was sparse.  The park was really nice but had a completely different feel than the hometown stadium.  The Redbirds' stadium, AutoZone Park is about 3000 seats larger than the I-Cubs' Principal Park, but the Principal Park feels much more airy and open.  The Memphis stadium is surrounded by office buildings...it just doesn't have the blue sky openness that Principal Park has.

I grabbed an ice cream and headed to my seat.  I was pleasantly surprised to see the I-Cubs were winning 1-0.  I know it is probably not a fair representation since I maybe go to one or two games a year, but when I do the I-Cubs always lose are have really low scores (except for that one time and the Rally-Yak.  I'm still not sure what that was all about but I like the Rally Yak).  The I-Cubs continued to score and play well - shutting down the Redbirds like it was easy.  The fans were turning a little ugly...instead of cheering their team, they were booing the I-Cubs.  With the exception of a home run in the 2nd, the Redbirds were not able to score while Iowa scored at least once each inning...until the sixth.

Top of the 6th and the score is 7-1, I-Cubs are dominating every part of the game and are just coming off a nice homer in the 5th.  I figured that the I-Cubs would come in fired up, but they were not able to handle the replacement Redbird pitcher.  The I-Cubs get a single and three pop flys outs.  It is the first inning that they didn't score.  Memphis comes back with a homer.  The seventh inning is scoreless for both but the Redbirds rule the eighth inning with 2 runs.

The I-Cubs got into the ninth with a score 7-3, and they start out strong with a double.  The runner advances to third on a ground out but is tagged out at home on the next play.  With a runner on both first and second, the Cubs end a scoreless on a strikeout.  Still they are up by 4 runs...and the most runs that Memphis has been able to get in an inning is two.  Many of the fans have left at this time, it should be no problem for Iowa to finish off the Redbirds right?  Not quite.  Memphis singles, then Iowa walks the batter.  With runners on first and second, Iowa gains a strikeout and then a pop out.  Two runners, two outs...and we walk another batter.  Bases are now loaded....and Memphis hits a Grand Slam Home Run to win the game.  Really?  A grand slam to win it?  It was the most exciting baseball game that I had ever seen.  The Memphis fans loved it of course.  Good game Memphis, way to hang in there.  If baseball was more interesting like this more often, I would probably be a bigger fan.

Joining the Upper Crust

A couple weeks ago, Angie and I attended the Bon Jovi concert at Wells Fargo Arena.  However,  it wasn't a normal concert for me.  It was the first time that I enjoyed an event from a suite location.  My employer decided to get a suite and offer the tickets to employees.  It was a pretty generous offer, if they could sell all 40ish tickets to employees, the cost would only be $100 each...and the employer would pay for food and drinks.  I figured that was a heck of a deal since the first and second tiers were in the $80 range of tickets (fees pushed it to just under a hundred), so a suite and free food is just bonus.

I was excited.  I am not the hugest Bon Jovi fan in the world, but I have always enjoyed him/them.  OK, not always...around the time of Slippery When Wet, I was very frustrated with BJ getting over-played especially at a time when I was getting into Iron Maiden and punk music.  Bon Jovi seemed the antithesis of everything else I was getting into at the time.  I still liked the songs - especially Wanted Dead of Alive, but I would not have admitted to being a Bon Jovi fan.  I was too cool for that...and maybe (just maybe) had a little bit of superiority complex where I wouldn't admit to liking much of anything that was considered popular.  This makes me angry at my younger self now, because I remember specifically passing on going to the Bon Jovi concert around this time because and therefore missed A) a probably great Bon Jovi show, and B) Skid Row opening - right before they exploded.  It wasn't the only time my "Too Cool" attitude made me miss something that I probably would have enjoyed, and it makes me sad to see all the young goth type kids avoiding everything because they are too good for it...I'm sure they will have some regrets later.

It took me several years to actually become a fan and listen to Bon Jovi again.  Actually, I can tell you exactly when I changed my mind and came out as a Bon Jovi fan.  It was the night of the 1989 MTV Music Awards when Jon and Richie played an acoustic version of Wanted Dead or Alive.  The grinding noise of punk had grown boring to me and I remember thinking...that is bad ass and wished more people would play awesome acoustic versions. I was obviously not the only person to think this as supposedly this performance inspired the MTV Unplugged series.  It is still one of my favorite performances.




All these years later, I never thought I would see Bon Jovi live...not because I didn't like him, but $80+ tickets are hard for me to justify.  I'd even looked at floor tickets for this concert before they wen't on sale, but with fees they were like $170 each...nope, couldn't do it.  But $100 for a suite, with free food and drink?  I could justify that just to be able to experience a suite one time.

Suites come with lots of perks...for example, there is a VIP entrance on the North side of the arena.  Angie and I chose not to use it was just as easy to head up through the skywalk.  We were also early enough that we didn't have to fight any crowds or stand in line, so I can't say that we really missed out on anything.  However, I can see it would be a nice feature if you arriving about 30 minutes later and there were huge lines of people waiting to get in at the regular entrances.

The suites have their own elevated walkway.  It is on the same level as the restaurant, above the 200 level seats.  The suite walkway is open and has very little foot traffic, so it feels really spacious and airy.  You also get to look down on the walkway/concession area of the main concourse and laugh at the crowded and miserably conditions of the poor masses.  From this vantage point, we were also able to really check out the Bottoms Up Beer dispenser that the arena made a big deal about a few months ago.  Since we were above, we could compare the Bottoms Up stand and the regular beer stand next to it.  From what I could tell A) yes, the beer fills much faster, B) there is little foam on the beer, and C) the people taking the money still sucked and so the line wasn't much faster than the normal beer line.  The walkway also offered its own full service bar and its own restrooms.  I used the restrooms twice throughout the night and there wasn't a single other person in the bathroom...and they were very clean.  The walkway also had nice portraits of many of the major events that had taken place at the arena in the past 5 years.  It was actually pretty neat walking past this gallery and seeing all the big name events that have taken place there since there was a question on whether the arena would actually be used much when it was being built.  I was a cool way to remember "Hey, I was there."  Most of the photos in the gallery were really good, but every once in a while there would be one that I would think "Really? That is the best shot you could get?"  It was also weird which shows they picked to showcase - Kidz Bop but no Nine Inch Nails?  The walkway also has a pretty spectacular view of the Des Moines river and the capitol building.

The suites were nice - and by walking past each on looked a little different.  Different themes and colors.  But all were similar with comfy cloth and leather chairs and tables to gather around when not watching the event, to barstools along a drink rail and upgraded stadium seating (leather style chairs with extra padding) with small tables to hold your drinks.  The suite also contained a mini-fridge, microwave, TVs and DVD player.  Unfortunately, our suite did not contain a shuffleboard table like one of the other suites that I noticed.

I don't know what food packages were available, but I saw most suites had very similar food, but a few had very different and much fancier food (i.e. full steak & prime rib meals).  Our food selection consisted of snacks and finger food...and lots of it.  We started with potato chips and several kinds of dip, fresh vegetables and ranch dressing, an assortment of breads, spreads, crackers and cheeses.  The more substantial appetizers consisted of chicken strips, hot wings, barbecue meatballs, egg rolls, and make your own nachos that included options of ground beef, barbecue beef, grilled chicken, several kinds of cheese and cheese sauce, sour cream, guacamole, olives, diced onions and tomatoes, jalapeños, and much more.  It was a lot of food, and even though there was a good amount of people in the suite, there was plenty of food to go around (and leftovers). Beverages included several kinds of soda, bottled water, and several kinds of beer and wine.  It wasn't all super fancy, but I am not sure that I would have wanted anything fancier for a rock concert.  It was all pretty good.

I was a little bit upset when I first realized exactly where our suite was located...as it was the furthest possible from the stage.  The location grew on me after a couple songs.  We were perfectly aligned with the stage and there was no one blocking our view.  Plus no sweaty people rubbing against me, no one spilling beer on me (although that was still a possibility I suppose).  It would have been nice to be closer, but with all the screens that large arena acts have now, it really wasn't necessary.  It was actually kind of nice to sit back and just watch the show.  All in all it was a good show.  It had been several years since I have gone to large arena concert.    It was nice to take in all the lighting, staging, and more background part of the show that I don't get to see as much when I am closer and fighting with the crowd.  The screens were amazing alternating between live feeds of the band and preprogrammed videos and graphics...which of itself is nothing new, but the screen kept moving, splitting, turning, recombining, making new patterns, and even becoming a floating staircase for Jon at one point.  Musically, I thought they sounded decent.  Richie was missing, I think caused the whole thing to not be quite as high energy and as loose as it might have been.  Overall good, however, several people who have seen Bon Jovi before have told me that it wasn't as good as his previous shows...not horrible, just not as good.  I was surprised at how many newer songs, I had heard and actually knew pretty well (and by newer, I mean anything after 1992 and the Keep The Faith album).  Work for the Working man was completely new to me, however, and I thought it was decent...but the staging and graphics that went along with it worked really well and made it powerful.  There is a video this song live in concert here....but it doesn't pull back enough to get the feeling of the song.

I wished they would have played Wanted Dead or Alive all acoustic, but I was sure there was slim to no chance of that with Richie in rehab.  I also would have liked to see Blaze of Glory even though I know that was a solo Jon song.  Those are minor things though.  I'd recommend seeing Bon Jovi, and recommend a suite any time you can get it at a decent price.

Sometimes You Gotta Let Those Hard-to-Reach Chips Go...

You may have heard last week that the brand Pringles was bought by Diamond Foods from Procter & Gamble (you can read the press release here if you like that sort of thing).

I mention this for a reason besides my fondness for Pringles.  Actually, I like Pringles, but usually don't eat them more than once or twice a year.  Usually when I am in a potato chip mood, I am looking for something more greasy.

You can see Torengos ability to hold
salsa in this handy advertisement (hint:
More than the leading tortilla chip, but
less than a bulldozer)

However,  I did love the corn chip made by P&G/Pringles...the Torengo.  The Torengo was just melt in your mouth good.  Torengos were similar to Pringles in that they came in a can and were all uniform in size and shape.  They were triangle shaped, but concaved like Pringles - supposedly for better salsa dipping.  Light, airy, and crispy, with a taste that wasn't overly corny, but just right...you didn't even need salsa or cheese.  They were delicious by themselves.  Every time I opened a can, I had to be careful not to eat the entire can in one sitting...and this was at a time when I really didn't like corn chips that much.  I doesn't do justice to say that the Torengo was the Rolls Royce of tortilla chips...to me they were the Bugatti Veyron of tortilla chips.  They were that good.


Torengos came in three flavors: original (delicious), splash of salsa (pretty darn good), and pinch of pepperjack cheese (good but I would refer to them as "hint of ass" but still ate anyways because they were so good texture-wise).  Unfortunately, the original and the pepperjack flavors' cans were too similar - one pink, one red but in the fluorescent lights of the grocery store it was hard to tell them apart...especially if they weren't right next to each other - which seemed to happen often.  Nothing was more disappointing than unpacking your groceries when you got home and realizing that you got the red pepperjack can on accident.  This caused me to almost develop an obsessive-compulsive disorder where I would check the can about 10 times by the time I got to the register to make sure I had the correct one.  It wasn't always this way...original Torgengos were in a purple can at first, but I guess that wasn't eye-catching enough.

Gone before
their time

Torengos weren't around long...2 or 3 years maybe.  Wikipedia says they were listed as discontinued on P&Gs website as of 2007, but they were gone at least a year or two before that.  I emailed Pringles several times asking about them when I couldn't find them in local stores and was told they would not be making them again...and that was early 2005 or before.

Anyhow, back to the point of this whole post - Diamond Foods, pretty please with a cherry on top bring back the Torengos.  I promise that I will eat plenty of them.  PS - feel free not to make the Hint of Ass (pepperjack cheese) flavor.

Torengos, I love you so (and my specially designed Torengo tray with built in salsa receptacle is just waiting to be filled with your deliciousness again).

It's People!

I love breakfast cereal.  Whenever I get a box, I will usually have one bowl or cereal with milk and then eat the rest straight out of the box over then next day or two.  I am a firm believer in the Chuck Biscuits' theory of cerealogy - "All breakfast cereal, ALL breakfast cereal should have sugar...and lots of it."  If a cereal doesn't have sugar, sugar must be added.  A few spoonfuls of sugar can make even the grossest cereal tasty and then you have the delicious milk syrup afterwards.

However, Chuck and I disagree with his taste preferences because I have never been one for marshmallows in my cereal.  Cereal marshmallows are gross, although admittedly fun to squish against the top of your mouth.  Breakfast cereals have a distinct hierarchy in my house.

1. Fruity Pebbles
2. Cookie Crisp
3. Cocoa Krispies
4. Cap'n Crunch Berries (but not the all Crunch Berry variety)
5. Frosted Flakes
6. Cinnamon Life
7. Apple Jacks
8. Cracklin' Oat Bran
9. Raisin Bran
10. Everything Else
11. Kix (worst of the worst)

There has been something that has disturbed me ever since I was a kid about Fruity Pebbles.  I understand they are supposed to be little fruity rocks, and who better to advertise little fruity rocks than the boys from Bedrock - Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble.  Genius, right?  Until you start thinking that Fred's daughter was named Pebbles.  How did the marketing guys not think about this?  I always get this picture in my head (especially after seeing The Wall in the mid-80's).  Whenever I grab a bowl, this thought always goes through my mind "Fruity pebbles...it's people!" ala Soylent Green.

Even if it is people, it is still delicious.

Enjoy!

Two Minutes Hate

...And a Half

I have been trying to eat healthier.  A lot of that has to do with eating the correct portion size.  For many years, I have been a one meal a day person.  I didn't worry about portion sizes too much since it was my only meal of the day, I could easily justify the excess.  A whole box of mac & cheese (spirals of course) or a whole frozen pizza...didn't really seem to matter too much.  Evidently this method of eating is not very healthy (who would have guessed?).  So now in my efforts to be overall more healthy and fit, I have been trying to eat more regularly throughout the day and eat appropriate amounts.

To get the correct amounts, I like to divide up the food into the correct number of portions before I take any for my plate.  If I make a recipe that says it feeds four people, then I divide the food into four equal portions - taking one for me and putting the rest in individual containers for later meals.  I also do this with canned fruits and vegetables.  For me this method works really well.  I can go to my refrigerator and grab one portion of entrée, one fruit, one veggie, etc... Makes meal time pretty easy and it really makes me stick to correct portion sizes and to keep track of calories (if I feel like it).

But then comes the food that doesn't have equal portions in the box.  Servings per box equals 2.5 or something similar.  What am I supposed to do with this half serving?  Do I make each of the other servings just a little bit bigger at 1.25?  A quarter serving more isn't going to hurt me is it?  It doesn't seem like much...but it definitely can hurt you.  Because it is not just going to be that one meal, it is going to be at least two that week.  What if other elements of your meal do the same thing?  Instead of your healthy amount that you should be eating, your meals could steadily grow by 25%.  If this happens every meal, all week long ((3*.25)*7) = 5.25 extra meals and their calories each week.  It is like supersizing...it can quickly make you the fat guy.

Why are they selling things in half servings anyways?  Do you buy anything else in half servings?  It just seems weird to me.  I am assuming that manufacturers are A) trying to make it seem like a bigger box on the store shelf, or B) cutting the size of their servings so that the calories don't see so terrible.  Either way, it pisses me off every time I am eating something that comes with an extra half serving.

End Hate

Two Minutes Hate

Subway Eat Fresh?

I'd just like to say that because Subway assembles the sandwich in front of you that it does not make it "fresh."  You have no idea how long the meat, cheese, and veggies have been fermenting in the tray.  Subway is in now way more fresh than any other chain sandwich/burger shop...in fact, I've seen several fast food burger joint kitchens that have little trays of ingredients that look exactly like Subways.  Sure, sometimes if they just chopped veggies, I am sure what you get is fresh...but they don't chop veggies and slice meat for each individual sandwich.  I'm just saying fresh assembly does not mean fresh ingredients.  By this logic, I could have had lunch meat sitting in my refrigerator for 6 months and make you a sandwich and call if "Fresh."  I did JUST make the sandwich, it wasn't under a heat lamp.  Yes, it is an extreme example...but it illustrates my point.  You don't know how long that meat has been sitting out in Subway's trays...but it could have been a while (and I know if I go in there at 9pm right before they close, it has been a while).  I like Subway, even though I don't eat there (or any fast food place) often.  I just don't like their claim to "fresh" because you really have no idea if the ingredients have been sitting there for 10 minutes or 4 hours...just like at any fast food location.

End Hate