Much Like Syphilis

I usually see my niece about once a week.  Whenever I do, I am usually forced into playing Just Dance on the Wii.  It is pretty fun game even if she usually whoops me...not surprisingly I am a terrible dancer.  There is some decent music on the game too...better than I first guessed.  The Presidents of the United States, Dee-Lite, The B-52s, Blur, The Trashmen (Have you not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard). The problem is that my niece likes the worst songs on the game and I end up dancing to Spice Girls and Katy Perry way too much. 

Katy Perry and I have been at odds before and this is more of the same.  Hot N Cold is catchy, I'll give her that.  It has wormed it's way into my mind over the past week and replays more than I would like (I would like zero).  It's not that it is a terrible song - they video is pretty terrible I thought (gee, a guy being hesitant to marry you after you were all about kissing girls a year ago?  That's unpossible.)  My problem with the song is that the lyrics are so generic.

Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right

It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

Seriously?  That makes Alanis Morissette's Ironic look like Shakespeare (PS - I love Alanis.  For excellent contrasting points see Eight Easy Steps.  Ironic was just a little generic and cheesy.).  Every time I hear Katy Perry's Hot N Cold I want to pat her on the head like a special child and go "Did you come up with all those contrasts all by yourself?  You're such a smart child!"   Much like syphilis, this song is catchy but horrible.  Fun to dance with my niece to though.

Taking it Back

Nine times out of ten when you hear something being described as a "harbinger" it is always something bad - Harbinger of Death, Harbinger of the Apocalypse, Harbinger of Doom, etc...  the one exception is spring.  You hear about the robins or early budding plants being harbingers of spring, but even that is increasingly rare.  To me  it seems that harbinger, which means to precede, indicate, or foreshadow has just become connected with evil.  Well I am here to tell you that I am taking it back.  I am not sure what I am going to be the Harbinger of but something like puppies, cotton candy, or rainbows...something positive.

Much like Randal, I'm taking it back!

Sincerely,
The Harbinger of Suck

Two Minutes Hate

eBay Outage Warnings

OK, there aren't eBay outages anymore...really there haven't been in 10 years. In the beginning there were issues every once in a while, not often but enough that some people were pissed about missing out on an auction due to server slow-down or whatever (personally I think a lot of it had to do with people and their dial-up access.)

In 1997 when a lot of sellers use to put in their auction listing "eBay is famous for its outages, place your bid now. Don't wait." It was stupid, it didn't really make me want to buy from that person because it made it seem like they were a snake oil salesmen. Seriously, isn't this just playing on fear...weak as it may be. "Buy Now Before It Is Too Late! You'll Be Sorry!" Unfortunately, so many people had this stupid message in their descriptions that it was almost impossible to avoid it completely.

I wasn't ever sorry and actually never had an issue with any of the auctions that I bid on. Never had an outage or slow server that caused me to miss out on anything that I wanted. 'Couse, I also not one of those "Sniper" people who wait till the last minute either. If I am interested in something, I bid what I am willing to pay and forget about the auction - maybe I win, maybe I lose a week later. I don't really check on them because I have already bid what I am willing to pay. To me it is a completely stress-free way of bidding and you don't get caught in any bidding wars. If I don't win, the item is almost always guaranteed to come up again.

The warnings were stupid then...they are completely idiotic now. Yes, some people still put this type of thing in their auction listings. I thought this had died years ago (and rightly so) but I have seen it several times in the past couple months. Idiots. When was the last time anyone has really heard of an eBay outage? I am sure there has been some, but I can't believe they have had much impact on anything (I doubt they ever did). I can't tell you how much it annoys me that people still put this in their auction listings - now do they not only seem like snake oil salesmen but also way behind the times. Might as well have your description list "Totally Tubular To the Max!" or "Super Keen." I hate these people. If you buy from these people, I think the terrorists have already won.

End Hate (now 23 skiddoo!)

It's Derby Time - but not the Kentucky Kind

The Mid Iowa Rollers' roller derby season begins next weekend on March 13th.  I highly enjoyed all the bouts that I was able to make last year.  If you are in the DSM area, I suggest you check it out....a good time always had by all.  Skating girls, speed, violence...fun, fun, fun!  Can't wait to see the new team in action.

An Update to an Unpublished Post

I started writing this post on 11/13/2009...I was excited after hearing about my library's participation in a program that allowed you to borrow audio by downloading them.  Before I published the post, I wanted to test it out and see how well it really works...I ran into problems, problems which I still haven't been able to fix properly.  I let the draft languish, hoping that it would work, trying several times over the past month on a couple different machines.  I still can't get it to work right.  I was just going to delete the post when I was pointed to this comic by Boing Boing.  It is my exact experience with this system (although I didn't end up downloading the torrent, I definitely thought about it)...and it makes me sad.

Click the link in the caption to see the entirety to properly understand the frustration.  Congrats to The Brads for capturing this perfectly.

Click me to see the full thing at http://www.bradcolbow.com

I understand the "need" (more of a want than a need for audiobook producers) for DRM but it is things like this that punish the people who are trying to do the right thing and do it legally that really frustrates me.  You are just blocking out your customers...the people who were going to steal it are going to steal it anyways.  I want to be the good and honest person here but it doesn't work!  Downloaded pirated files always work.  It is not the first time that type of thing has happened to me...just one of the more recent.

Great idea library...poor execution.

Original Post Draft:

Hooray Library!

I love the library - any place that has lots of books, whether it be bookstore, library, or personal collection is always good at drawing my attention. I can just skim through racks of books all day. But, I consider reading to be a form of recreation and rest so I will often pick fiction as my reading material. It just helps me feel more relaxed than reading history or science books. I like those too, but they don't give me the sense of relaxation that I am usually looking for when reading.

That has always been a difficult decision for me though because, I really do like learning and engaging my mind. I think this is some of the reason that I find hard sci-fi (the kind with very detailed and probable scenarios and usually a bunch of equations) so fascinating. I get the relaxation of the story but the academics of the math and science. However, I still sometimes feel like I am missing out on history and the real world. This is where audiobooks come in handy. Pop in a CD while driving or working and some of my need for history is fulfilled. I admit that it is not as good as reading a book, but it is much better than listening to the radio while driving or listening to nothing at work.

Audio books can be expensive though and for me they are not like books to be kept and treasured (if I liked it). Once listened to, my probability of ever listening to it again is pretty much zero.  If I do like the book...I will probably go buy the book to read myself in the future.  My local library also always had a poor selection, yes I could have them order me some through the inter-library lending system but that always been a hassle for me (out of 20+ times getting something through inter-library loan, I have had issues with more than half my orders - sure they always fix it, but still it is annoying). That is why I was very happy when I discovered that my library is final taking part in the WILBOR system. This is a system that lends audiobooks. No, not like heading down to the library and getting an armful of CDs...you download them at your convenience. They are still building their selection but there is a little something for everyone. I plan on taking full advantage of this.

Music for a Mood

I am feeling really down and depressed today...many reasons but mostly just because I am a moody bitch at times (and I suck).

Misery loves company, or so they say...I don't really want to make anyone else unhappy but it definitely helps me to listen to someone else's misery in song form.  What can I say...someone cool like that being emotionally fucked up helps me deal with my own feelings.

Here are my top 3 beautiful/horrible songs for when I am feeling like I fucked up my life.

Brick by Ben Folds Five



Thankfully, I have never been in this situation but I think they captured the emotions perfectly.  Who hasn't felt like the were drowning in a relationship or feeling totally alone when with someone?  I first heard this song when I was a college DJ filling in for some one's shift on Valentines Day (I had no plans as I was a loser - not much has changed).  We regularly played BFF but I had never listened to a whole album.  Some random girl who sounded vaguely upset called in and requested this song.  During the song, I wished *69 worked on campus because I really think she needed a hug because this was the least Valentines Day song that I had ever heard.  Whoever you are - I still wonder about you not only every time I hear this song, but every Valentines Day too...I hope everything worked out (thanks for pointing out this song to me).

Slow Motion by Third Eye Blind



This is my favorite 3eb song...but man it is powerful and depressing.  I can always listen to this song and think that at least I am not THIS screwed up (yet).

Hurt by Johnny Cash



Of course I knew this as an NIN song well before this cover.  But damn Johnny owns this!  There is something about him being towards the end of his life that makes this song so much more powerful...you can really feel the pain, you know there is no time for redemption here.


There are many more...but these are the top three that always bring me a little comfort in depression.

Two Minutes Hate

MTV

I am not the first person to hate modern Mtv as they have long forsaken everything that they once stood for and have become what the original haters have always claimed Moron Television.  Maybe it was all an illusion - maybe it wasn't all about the music or about changing the world.  But man, that illusion was powerful back in the day.  Remember "Choose or Lose"?  Remember "I want my Mtv"?  Mtv could pack a punch and get people motivated...but music played a large part.

It has slowly been making a comeback in the early morning, but I think everyone knows music is pretty much gone from Mtv (which makes me glad that they dropped the "Music Television" slogan from their logo...because they haven't been for a long, long time).  It is sad really, there is a whole group of young people now that Mtv only means Jersey Shore or 16 and Pregnant with videos being minor filler.

But what really makes me angry is that this morning I turn it on and there is some video countdown for something or other...I don't care what the countdown is for, I just wanted some music and videos while I am getting ready for work.  I don't expect much...10 songs, average song length 3.5 - 4 minutes equals 33 to 40 minutes of music max with a lot of commercials, stupid VJ interruptions, etc... but at least half music, right?  After all, the average hour long TV show is about 40-43 minutes of content, so it is about right.  They played some videos alright but they played less than half of any video besides the top 3.  Really Mtv?  Stupid VJ, 60 seconds of a video, 3 minutes of commercials, then 60 seconds of a video?  Why would I watch that?  I want to see and hear music, I hope for at least equal time with commercials and the other crap your force on me.  But it wasn't even close.  I had planned to write a post this week congratulating you on starting to bring music back over the past year but instead I am even more unsatisfied with your cock-tease video segments.  I didn't think you could show less video content than you did on TRL, but once again I underestimated your suckiness.

End Hate

Two Minutes Hate

The Eddie The Eagle Olympic Rule

Do you remember Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards in the 1988 Olympic Winter Games? If you watched the games at all, you probably do. Eddie was the first professional ski jumper from Great Britain. He competed in the 1988 Calgary Olympic games...and finished last in both events in which he competed.

But what is great about Eddie is that he was basically an everyman. He was self-funded, no corporate or government funding for his training. He is extremely far sighted and must wear these huge dorky glasses. he was also slightly heavier and less toned than the rest of the athletes at the games. You may think this sounds horrible, but it all added up to make him the ultimate underdog.

Eddie the Eagle (Photo borrowed from here at the BBC)

Every time Eddie jumped it was inspiring - seeing this normal guy (basically) going for his Olympic dreams. You knew he wasn't going to win...it wasn't even close. But seeing him try and try again with all his heart was magnificent. Personally, I thought Eddie was nothing but beneficial for the Olympics. It was one of the first times that I connected with the Winter Olympics since the whole "Miracle on Ice" thing, but it actually went even deeper than that. I think this was probably the deepest that I connected with any Olympics - Summer or Winter. I am not athletically inclined, I don't really have the genes for it. To me the Olympics always seemed like something that was for all these top 1% people...the people that just happened to be born with not only the right genes but also the right situation to be able to train constantly for the games. Eddie made it seem that almost anyone could be an Olympic athlete if they really wanted to be.

I think Eddie was also beneficial to the Olympics in another way. He provided a measuring stick for the other jumpers. I don't know about you, but watching ski jumping I really can't tell who is doing really well and who is doing poorly. When a half meter can mean the difference from Silver and 6th place, I can't really judge that by watching TV. They all look the same. Eddie provided a starting point to measure the other athletes. Seeing Eddie jump and then the other athletes jump 20-30 meters farther...you could easily tell the difference and it made the other athletes seem that more impressive and amazing.

However, many athletes and officials felt that all the attention that Eddie received was embarrassing and making a mockery of the sport and games. (I think a lot of the attention was due to the fact that he skied with heart and wasn't just a cold and calculating athlete.) So between winter games, the Olympic Committee enacted a rule stating that in order to compete in the games, that an athlete must compete in international competitions and either finish in the top 30% or be in the top 50 athletes, whichever is smaller. Note: Eddie finished 55th in the World Competitions in 1987. Eddie would not qualify for another Olympics.

If this rule was in place in 1988 - we also wouldn't have the Jamaican Bobsled Team. They were able to qualify for later Olympics (and actually end up doing fairly well), but they would never even have gotten a start with this rule. To me, this rule prevents start up athletes and programs and just tightens the grip of the big, wealthy, and long competing countries on their share of medals.

Although I understand that logistically there needs to be some limits on who can compete in the Olympic games, I also think there needs to be some way to get a few amateurs in there to help inspire people and also showcase how good the professionals really are. Some might argue that these people would become laughing stocks and it is better to save them from that...but I think these kind of athletes are the ones that would compete with the most heart and be grateful for whatever happened. It is impossible to mock someone when they love what they are doing. These are the people that most symbolize the Olympic Spirit in my mind.

Eddie, Thanks for the great memories!

End Hate

Ruined

I really wanted to watch the USA vs Canada Olympic hockey game yesterday.  Really, really did.  After all the hype that NBC had been putting into it the past few days, I just assumed it would be shown live on NBC...but instead Russia vs Czech, which was OK but not what I really wanted.  I don't get MSNBC, CNBC or whatever it was shown live on.  I had thought about going to a friend's house but wasn't feeling the best and just wanted to lie on my couch and wait for the tape delay.

I understand NBC wanting to tape delay something like that an show it in prime time for more viewers but for me they made it unwatchable.  Once I know the score to a hockey game, I just have no interest in watching the game...it loses all it's excitement and mystery.  I was trying to be careful - avoiding and TV channels that might have news, didn't listen to the radio, didn't check any texts from anyone that has an interest in hockey, watched most of the Russia game on mute since I didn't want the announcers making an offhand comment, didn't get online incase yahoo had a story on their front page, and I didn't log into facebook in case someone posted about the game. 

I thought I was safe in my hockey news free bubble.  I was wrong.  I stepped outside to get something from my car...just at the time that my two neighbors decided to yell to each other about the game.  Inside I was all "God Dammit Mother Fucker!" but I calmly walked inside - depressed that this hockey game was now dead to me.

Gold for Commercials

I usually think that Olympic commercials are pretty lame, Winter Olympics especially since it isn't as high profile.  I mean half the time it is just a normal commercial with "Proud sponsor of the xxxx Olympiad" tacked on the end...so lame.  Then the commercials that they try to make more relevant usually shows someone practicing hard at their sport...over coming that adversity, trying their best (rarely showing their faces as they usually don't use the actual Olympic athletes) and then saying some like "We are proud to support our Olympic athletes."  Just the most boring and generic commercials that you can think of.

However, I loved this commercial by Procter and Gamble about being a proud sponsor of moms.  Very cute and touching...it was a commercial that I actually wanted to see again, I even rewound on my DVR to watch it a second time when it premiered during the opening ceremonies.  Well played P&G, well played indeed.




And I don't even have kids!