Better Late Than Never Review - Chinese Democray

Guns N' Roses' Chinese Democracy could never live up to the hype and intrigue that it created - 14 years in the making, the first original GNR music since Use Your Illusion, the album that tore the band apart, $13+ million to make, use of 14 different studios, multiple promised release dates with multiple delays, etc...  Chinese Democracy wasn't going to please everyone, it was just impossible.  GNR had too many fans and too many different styles of music.  It was all rock, but there was a wide chasm between Mr Brownstone and Don't Cry.

Guns N' Roses were the arguably the biggest band in the world last time GNR released an original album...and even those Use Your Your Illusion albums were disappointing to some.  I can understand the pressure that Axl must have been feeling as the years passed and the album still wasn't released.  I imagine he was thinking something along the lines of "this album has to be fucking epic."  So delay, tweak, edit, produce, delay, re-record, edit, tweak, delay...repeat.  It makes sense, but I think Axl fell into the trap of trying to fulfill the hype and please everyone.

I, like many people, had really been looking forward to the release of Chinese Democracy for over 10 years.  With each announced date and subsequent delay, my enthusiasm waned a little.  When I bought tickets to see Guns N' Roses in concert on Dec 2006, I was hoping that my excitement would be renewed...plus since the were on the Chinese Democracy tour, the album was imminent right?  The opposite happened instead.  I really enjoyed the songs from Chinese Democracy live in concert, but the whole experience left me uninterested and a little pissed at Axl.  I did not buy the album when it came out nearly 2 years later, I did not listen and hear any songs on the radio (I think I heard "Better" once though), I did not check out videos on youtube.  I just had no real interest or desire - I guess I can hold a grudge a long time.

A couple weeks ago, I happened to be shopping online at Bestbuy, looking for something completely unrelated and it just happened to hit me that I should look up the Chinese Democracy CD.  I don't know why this popped in my head, I hadn't thought about it in a couple years, so it was a little strange.  I searched and it the CD was only $1.99 (double vinyl is also $1.99) with free shipping.  I decided to do a store pickup as I was headed there anyways.  I figured $2 was low enough that the risk of disappointment and feeling ripped off was relatively low.

I popped the CD into my car stereo and listened through the whole thing that day within a few driving periods.  My first thought was "meh."  It had a couple catchy guitar riffs and lyrics and it was nice to hear Axl's voice again (as just hearing it brought back memories of my adolescence) but overall it didn't do much for me.  Of course, I was hoping for the balls out rock and roll from the Appetite for Destruction album - but I don't really seeing him writing that gritty of music as he is now near 50 (although strangle Dave Mustaine from Megadeth is basically the same age and I still expect him to make music like he did in his 30's - but not really his 20's I guess - maybe that is the difference).

This album has many issues.

• I think the songs are too long*.  I like tight concise rock songs...the three and a half minute is perfect for my mind.  Long enough to really pack a punch and get your blood going, but it doesn't drag on and start to get boring.  If you were really paying attention, you could tell that as Axl took over more writing duties from Izzy Stradlin that the songs became longer and less rocky.  Basically, if you compare You Could be Mine to November Rain you can see the difference right there.  Rock vs Epic Ballad.  Both good in their own way, but completely different.  I like epic ballads, but I think they should be the minority instead of the majority of the record.  Axl has lost the feel for the three and a half minute plain rock song.  It seems that he has tried to make everything too epic.

*Turns out that the songs just seem long.  Yes, most are in the 4.5 - 5.5 minute mark, which is longer than I thought...but they almost always feel two minutes longer.  For some of the reasons listed below.

• Too much shit - and by that I don't mean too many shitty songs, I mean the songs just seem overloaded.  Too much synth, too much orchestra, too much background noise.  It makes many of the songs feel very messy and overwhelming.

• Too much filler - the biggest mistake that I think Axl made was putting 1 minute of filler (ambient noise, people talking unintelligibly, street noise, etc...) before the song Chinese Democracy.  It is one of the best songs on the album, and the first song on the album...with the minute of filler, I was already bored before the album started.  I think maybe he wanted to have it build up to the song, but it just didn't work.  A couple of the other tracks also have this type of lead-in and I just am not feeling it for the record.

• Too downbeat - it is not a happy album, and with its slower pace it just seems to drag on.  On great albums I am full of energy at the end and want to immediately start listening to it again, on this album I feel a little exhausted and drained (but not in a "Wow what a moving experience kind of way").

• Too many meandering guitar solos - this leads back to the songs feeling too long, but having three to five guitarists contributing to some tracks just leads to too many solos and guitar effects.  I like Buckethead, but I just don't see him as being part of the GNR sound (and yes, I think it is easy to pick out his solos).  It just lead to it feeling overbearing when I would have loved something stripped down.

• Repetitive - on some songs the chorus just seems super repetitive.  I think it is actually drowning out the rest of the lyrics which are often kind of hard to understand, so the chorus just stands out all the more but becomes repetitive on several songs.  Plus are there so few good quotes out there that you had to re-use the Cool Hand Luke "failure to communicate" quote that was used on "Civil War"?

• Too much electronic drums - unless you are doing industrial music or rap, there is not much use for a drum machine.  You can tell the difference and it is so boring and sterile.

• Boring cover art - really a bicycle with a basket in sepia tone?  It feels drab and I think that feeling gets transferred into your thoughts about the music (at least at first).  Seriously, this is just a boring cover.

However, it is not all bad.  After the first listen, I set the album aside for a few days but my mind kept coming back to a few guitar riffs, vocals, or lyrics.  I gave it a couple more listens over the past week and it has grown on me quite a bit.  It is not a terrible album, just not a great album.  There are a few hooks to pull you in but nothing that instantly stood out and made me want to listen over and over.  There are some parts that I really like - unfortunately not many songs come together as a complete package and that means that it is just not full of hit songs.  I do like it though and think that I will be returning to it every so often, but it is definitely not an "era defining" album like both Appetite and Use Your Illusion were to me.  I do think it is a pretty decent album and powerful - just not instantly catchy.  It not something you will be singing along with all the lyrics like Appetite, but it is worth a listen.  For $2, I would recommend this album to most people.  I think you will get $2 worth of enjoyment out of it if you go in with an open mind and not expect the old GNR.  Hearing Axl screaming and screeching like the good old days is worth that much...and I think the album will continue to grow on me.

Sometimes You Gotta Let Those Hard-to-Reach Chips Go...

You may have heard last week that the brand Pringles was bought by Diamond Foods from Procter & Gamble (you can read the press release here if you like that sort of thing).

I mention this for a reason besides my fondness for Pringles.  Actually, I like Pringles, but usually don't eat them more than once or twice a year.  Usually when I am in a potato chip mood, I am looking for something more greasy.

You can see Torengos ability to hold
salsa in this handy advertisement (hint:
More than the leading tortilla chip, but
less than a bulldozer)

However,  I did love the corn chip made by P&G/Pringles...the Torengo.  The Torengo was just melt in your mouth good.  Torengos were similar to Pringles in that they came in a can and were all uniform in size and shape.  They were triangle shaped, but concaved like Pringles - supposedly for better salsa dipping.  Light, airy, and crispy, with a taste that wasn't overly corny, but just right...you didn't even need salsa or cheese.  They were delicious by themselves.  Every time I opened a can, I had to be careful not to eat the entire can in one sitting...and this was at a time when I really didn't like corn chips that much.  I doesn't do justice to say that the Torengo was the Rolls Royce of tortilla chips...to me they were the Bugatti Veyron of tortilla chips.  They were that good.


Torengos came in three flavors: original (delicious), splash of salsa (pretty darn good), and pinch of pepperjack cheese (good but I would refer to them as "hint of ass" but still ate anyways because they were so good texture-wise).  Unfortunately, the original and the pepperjack flavors' cans were too similar - one pink, one red but in the fluorescent lights of the grocery store it was hard to tell them apart...especially if they weren't right next to each other - which seemed to happen often.  Nothing was more disappointing than unpacking your groceries when you got home and realizing that you got the red pepperjack can on accident.  This caused me to almost develop an obsessive-compulsive disorder where I would check the can about 10 times by the time I got to the register to make sure I had the correct one.  It wasn't always this way...original Torgengos were in a purple can at first, but I guess that wasn't eye-catching enough.

Gone before
their time

Torengos weren't around long...2 or 3 years maybe.  Wikipedia says they were listed as discontinued on P&Gs website as of 2007, but they were gone at least a year or two before that.  I emailed Pringles several times asking about them when I couldn't find them in local stores and was told they would not be making them again...and that was early 2005 or before.

Anyhow, back to the point of this whole post - Diamond Foods, pretty please with a cherry on top bring back the Torengos.  I promise that I will eat plenty of them.  PS - feel free not to make the Hint of Ass (pepperjack cheese) flavor.

Torengos, I love you so (and my specially designed Torengo tray with built in salsa receptacle is just waiting to be filled with your deliciousness again).

Perchance to Dream (Part 2)

It is now been over a year since I have had horrible dreams.  One will still sneak in every once in a while, but no longer is my normal night filled with knives, spears, and shotguns shooting in my direction.  No longer are my memorable dreams the ones of a deadly game of cat and mouse that I am always bound to lose.  

I don't know what demons my brain had to exorcise, but they seem to be gone now.  It has taken a lot of work...forcing myself to bed before 3 or 4 am, actually trying to sleep.  Although I had long ago gotten used to the dreams, I think they still had a lot to do with my sleeping habits.  I rarely got more than 4 hours...and existing on 2-3 hours each night for weeks at a time became pretty common place.  Often it wasn't even 3 hours in a row - maybe a couple hours from 2am to 4am then up till 5am and one more hour of sleep before I had to get up for work.  It was exhausting but it was something that your body got used to after a week or so.  I would have horrible sleep for several months and then semi-normal sleep for a week or two before getting back to the next cycle to terrible sleep.

In the past six months, I have enjoyed the longest period of normal sleep schedule that I have had in well over 10 years.  My dreams have started to turn more and more senseless and bizarre...not scary in anyway, but just strange with little tidbits of my life, thoughts, and day intermixed.  It seems more like what other people dream about, but it is new and interesting experience for me.  I often even know that it is a dream but have not been able to enact lucid dreaming yet (dreams where I realize it is a dream and take control...allowing such feats as flying), but I hope to soon.  It would be a complete 180 from constantly being the helpless and hunted to being the controller of the dream.

What dreams are made of...apparently.

So what do I dream of now?  One night last week, each dream started with a still photo of colored pencil drawing, as the camera (of my brain) zooms in, the picture animated and turns into live action.  There was a series of 3 or 4 dreams that started like this but I don't remember the actual dreams, just the form...and the fact that they were narrated by Stone Phillips and Anne Curry from Dateline NBC.  It was all very odd and charming.  A couple nights later, I dreamed two things (that I remember).  The first was that I went to the pet store to buy a fish.  Instead of giving me a fish in a bag of water, they handed me a small fish shaped box that they put the fish of my choice in...without water.  I expressed concern but evidently "This was the new way" and they "had made great advances in fish transportation."  I then went shopping and out to eat with the fish box/coffin in my pocket...but I was worried about the fish the entire time (but evidently not enough to go home and put him in the tank).  The other dream from last night centered around a new pinball machine that I came across at the mall.  Obviously a dream...pinball machines at the mall?  It was a two player Tango & Cash pinball.  One person played Tango, the other Cash.  A little strange, I know...but the pinball portion didn't surprise me, I love pinball.  However, the theme was a little surprising especially since I haven't seen the movie in probably 15+ years.

I am still getting used to these strange and irreverent dreams, but as confusing as they are - it is really nice not to die, even though I do at times still feel apprehensive while in a dream waiting for the hunters to come.

My Review of Eagleheart Justice Rider T-Shirt

Originally submitted at Adult Swim Shop

Show your appreciation for Adult Swim's most aggressively bearded lawman with the Eagleheart Justice Rider Shirt. Villains won't stand a chance against your torso once it's backed up by this stunning portrait of U.S. Marshal Chris Monsanto, galloping headlong towards vengeance atop a no...

Eagleheart Justice Rider T-Shirt

Hot Dog Boy's Invincible

By Gubby from gubbyblog.blogspot.com on 4/7/2011

 

5out of 5

Fit: Feels true to size

Length: Feels true to length

Pros: Pale green, Stick figures, Stylish, Horsey, Beard, Soft

Cons: No death punch, Coveted, Justice only on one side

Best Uses: Avenging your partners, Catching criminals, Show Chris Elliott love

Describe Yourself: Awesome

Was this a gift?: No

Chris Elliott is awesome. I was hoping for some awesome Adult Swim merch when Eagleheart was announced. I wasn't sure about this shirt at first...it was not what I was expecting for an official show t-shirt. But I ordered it anyway, just to show the love. I now realize that it is perfect. Primary colors, stick figures, pale green...what better way to express the humor and style of Eagleheart and Chris Elliott.
Surprisingly, I am asked about the shirt all the time..."What is it?", "Did your kid paint that?", "How can I make a shirt?", "Hey, is Eagleheart any good?" It is definitely an attention grabber. Your friends will love it, your family will love it, your co-workers will love it, the people at the bar when you sing karaoke will love it, and the random people on the street will love it. Long live Chris Elliott and Eagleheart. Bring us more Eagleheart merch - action figures, more tees, a leather vest, cowboy hats, and most importantly DVDs!

(legalese)

Perchance to Dream (Part 1)

Perchance to Dream

For many years I have had horrible dreams - dreams or drowning, full of blood, hacked off limbs, bitten off ears, jabbed eyeballs, and sliced throats.  Really horrible dreams.  The only redeeming fact was the 99% of the time whatever terrible act was happening, it was happening to me instead of committing the act myself.  I could take some solace in that.

At first, you laugh them off as just bad dreams but once they have been going on for a while (weeks, months, years...), you do start to question what type of monster you are.  You start to stay awake later because you don't want to face the dreams.  What kind of person dreams night after night of having their feet cut off at the ankles?  That person can't be sane right?  That person is really messed up.  They must be a serial killer or something because that is just not normal.

Trust me, if you make the mistake of telling anyone about these dreams you will know the look of someone who thinks you should be committed...and the funny thing is that the re-telling really don't do the dreams justice.  You have never seen such a beautiful, red river as the one that gushes from my dagger sliding upwards through my lower jaw, pinning my tongue through the roof of my mouth.  You learn to keep quiet or make up silly little pretend dreams when the subject comes up among others.  It is not all you dream about, I'm convinced of that,  but how are you supposed to remember anything else once you feel the blade slicing into your ribs?

Eventually, they just become part of your life...you realize that you aren't too messed up (at least I wasn't...I don't think), and you aren't going to hurt anyone.  You didn't ever REALLY think you would hurt anyone, but with dreams like that you always worried about some kind of inner psycho/sociopath.  The dreams become commonplace and therefore ignorable.  They no longer stick with you and disturb you all day.  Your mind becomes used to it and like everyone else, your dreams quickly fade in the morning light.  You never really even think about them...in fact, there are a couple benefits like finding "scary" movies to be pretty darn silly.

There are times however when it all comes slamming back home and you are saddened.  People saying things like "I had a dream about you last night," you think to yourself, "Thank god that I don't dream about people I know."  Or people talking about "sex" dreams...I can count on one hand the number of times I have had either a sex dream or a dream about someone you know.  Which is a blessing because neither should be mixed up with what I was currently dreaming.

Most people would consider what you dream to be nightmares, but for you it is normal, ordinary life.  This has been my life for about 20 years or so.  I don't remember when it exactly started but it was before high school.  It was sporadic at first, but then they came more and more often until nearly every night was a personal horror show.  I haven't told many people about the dreams...a handful at most, the people that I have really felt close, the people who I thought might understand.  I've been told that I might be repressing some traumatic event but I really don't think that is the case...

Editor's note:  I started writing this blog post over a year and a half ago...it was at a time when the dreams first stopped and I started having normal(er) dreams.  However, I was a little anxious that they might come back. So I hesitated.  It is a pretty personal topic to me, so that was a little frightening also...so I stopped writing.  I am coming back to it now, for the first time feeling confident enough that the horrible dreams are gone not to jinx it.

Hey....Gandalf, Nice Dress!

A while ago, my brother Kelly sent me a link to a newer band called Red Fang.  They are great.  Hard driving rock n roll with a southern flair.  Reminds me a lot of my favorite (now defunct) local band On A Pale Horse (seriously Junk Poet is still around but not these guys - ugh, what is the world coming to).

Album #2 - to be released
April 12, 2011

Their album is pretty awesome.  You can give it a whirl and order it from Amazon here.  They also have a new album coming out in two weeks on April 12, called Murder the Mountains.  I am very much looking forward to this album.

But even better - MidwesTix has just announced a Red Fang show in Des Moines!  May 24, 9pm.  House of Bricks.

Tickets on sale Friday from the MidwesTix website and will set you back $10.  Even though I haven't personally seen them live, from the videos on youtube, it definitely looks like it will be easy to get your money's worth in rock.

I will be there.  It's a Tuesday, but I suggest you skip the Biggest Loser, Glee, or Dancing with the Stars...or whatever crap you watch and get your ass down to HoB!  I am really looking forward to this show...if only they could get On A Pale Horse to open...but I am sure that amount of awesomeness would make people's heads explode (or at least pants to be soiled)!

This video is from Red Fang's first album...and is pure awesome.  I better start drinking now so I can have my suit of armor ready for the concert.

Harmful if Swallowed

Last night, I was running some errands with Angie.  She had to stop at one of those dollar stores to pick up some cheap party supplies.  I don't go to these places often because although they have their uses and good deals, I rarely actually need the kinda cheap, plasticy items that these types of stores specialize in...or I would rather go some place more specialized.

Delicious - like all Mike & Ike products

However, I love their candy aisles.  Getting the big boxes of candy about 50 cents cheaper than at the gas station and two dollars cheaper than the movie theater is great.  They also tend to have the stranger flavors of some candies that you don't see as often - like Mike & Ike Jolly Joes or maybe Lemonhead & Friends (both delicious).  There's always new stuff for me to try.  I was tempted by Muddy Bears - chocolate covered gummi bears but wasn't in the mood this time.  I also like how the have a bid section of knock-off candy like Sour Kiddos (obviously not a ripoff of Sour Patch Kids).  I decided on some horehound hard candy and some Jolly Joes...since it had been a really long time since I had both.

Not So Hazardous

I also perused their selection of candy in novelty containers and decided to go with Toxic Waste because of the fun container and the fact that it said "Hazardously Sour Candy".  According to the back of the barrel if you could hold Toxic Waste in your mouth for 15 seconds you were a Total Wuss, 30 seconds earned you Cry Baby, 45 seconds Kinda Toxie, but 60 seconds meant that you were a Full Toxie Head.  I was a little disappointed...it didn't seem that much different that Warheads to me.  Decent I guess.

Evil Incarnate

But on the way to check out, I saw the most venomous candy item imaginable.  Something that would probably induce vomiting in me...something that must be the spawn of the devil because I can't believe anyone else would be evil enough to create such an item.  I am talking about Good & Plenty Lip Balm.  I seriously don't think there could be a worse thing in the world.  Good & Plenty are not even candy, they are like little poison pills.  I love candy of nearly every kind and don't even mind black licorice on occasion...but somehow Good & Plenty removed anything good from licorice leaving a hard center of black death covered in a tantalizing looking but nasty tasting candy shell.  I can't think of a worse flavor than Good & Plenty for a lip balm.  Remember the Harry Potter Bertie Bott Every Flavor Jelly Beans they came out to tie in with the movie with flavors like pepper, dirt, grass, earwax, dish soap, and vomit*?  Still better than Good & Plenty.

Just thinking about the G&P Lip Balm is making my stomach turn.  I am pretty sure if I kissed someone wearing this, I would probably vomit in their mouth (fair warning!).  I know that Good & Plenty is the oldest branded candy in the US (first produced in 1893), but that is no reason to still have it around.  I can really only see three scenarios where Good & Plenty candy is sold at all.

1. Old people who ate it as children when there was nothing else have found memories of it.  You know, like people from the great depression and world wars when sugar was scarce.
2. Parents who want to shut up their kids who are whining about wanting candy will get it as a "Really you want candy?" type punishment
3. Young girls fall for the pink and white packaging...but this will only ever happen once to each child.

The name Good & Plenty is such a misrepresentation - well half misrepresentation.  They are definitely NOT good, but you will have plenty because you will never finish a box.  Good & Plenty stop tricking old people and kids...you should not be in the candy aisle.

*I think Jelly Belly actually wussed out on the second run of these beans and the gross flavors were changed to ketchup, fish, onion, and sausage (still better than Good & Plenty).

Winter is Coming...(finally)

***Spoiler Alert*** 

The following contains some possible but somewhat vague spoilers

Book 1

Several years ago my good friend CT, recommended a book to me - A Game of Thrones by George RR Martin, he even loaned me his copy.  It was book one of an immense fantasy saga called Song of Ice and Fire.  I had seen it in the stores many times over the years but knowing nothing about it, it never really held much interest (there is so much bad fantasy out there, that I have a hard time justifying purchase of something I know nothing about).  I was big into knights and fantasy novels when I was younger (around seventh through twelfth grades) but hadn't really been able to get into much of anything in the genre since.  Even the DragonLance series where I devoured  probably 50+ books when I was young didn't hold any interest and I hadn't been interested in re-reading The Lord of Rings books since the movies came out (I liked the movies but they kind of ruined the imagination part of reading the books).

The book sat on my bookshelf for a couple months.  I finished the book that I had been reading and then went to look for something new...nothing sounded good to me.  I finally decided to start reading Game of Thrones...mainly because I felt guilty for having CT's book so long already.  I didn't go in with the best frame of mind, the first few chapters I was literally thinking "blah, blah, blah, sword, blah, blah, blah, king, blah, blah, blah, knight..."  The story was intricate and complex and soon enough I was hooked.  I even charted out characters, houses, and relationships since there were many and with complicated and detailed histories - just so I could help keep everything straight in my brain.

Book 2

But what really captured me the depth of the characters.  Characters weren't just good and bad, they all had varying amounts of each aspect.  I hated several 'good' characters and liked several 'bad' characters.  The characters surprise you in many ways.  A supposedly 'bad' character will show compassion and courage, and a 'good' character can be craven and betray everyone.  The character's actions, motivations, and emotions are complicated and realistic.  I was also drawn in by George RR Martin's lack of attachment to his characters.  You know that character that you have been reading about for the past 500 pages and that you figured was one of the main characters, if not THE main character of not only the books but the saga?  They chop off his head...and not as a climax either.  It just happens.  You sit there reading it and you are thinking "Really? REALLY?  WTF?" but the story continues.  Maybe this was planned all along and maybe it is not GRRM's lack of attachment to his characters, maybe he just doesn't care about our attachment to his characters.  It sounds horrible but it makes the books a very interesting read.  Anything can happen, no one feels safe.

Book 3

I read through the first and the second (A Clash of Kings) and started the third book.  Number Three (Storm of Swords) is a big book (1200+ pages).  I was a couple hundred pages in when I happened to leave it on the front seat of my car on an extremely hot summer day.  The glue in the binding melted and all the pages started to fall out.  It was big hassle trying to keep all the pages in order and make sure I didn't lose any.  I ended up reading another 100 pages or so before giving up on this copy.  I looked for a used copy but couldn't find one at the time, so after a couple weeks I had resigned to ordering one from Amazon.  Just as I was about to order, George RR Martin delayed the new book (this would be book five) in the series (to 2008)...which was strange since book four had supposedly been way too long for his publisher and had to be split in half.  So you would think that book five was all (or at least mostly) written.  I guess you would be wrong..as I was.  After it was delayed again...or more precisely George hinted it would be a few months and more than a year later he still wasn't done, I made a decision.  I didn't want to be all caught up with the story and then have to wait forever for a new book, all the while forgetting details.  I put off finishing book three and four until a publishing date for the new book was announced.

Book 4

The release date changed several more times...and after the past 3-4 years, I grew more and more hesitant of re-starting book three: Storm of Swords.  Had I already forgotten too much?  Man, that is a big book.  Will I be able to get into it again?  When HBO announced the air date of their original series based on Game of Thrones, I knew I had to get going.  They were forcing my hand.  Although my brain was a little rusty with some of the details, I was soon back into the swing of things...although I forgot exactly how much it shocked me when he killed a main character...yes, he got me again.  I have had to change my notions of where the story is headed again...and each time this has happened, I have grown more and more uncertain.

Book 5

I am 80% done with Book Three and soon to start Book Four: A Feast For Crows.  Finishing right on time for Book Five: A Dance With Dragons.  Yes, a firm publishing date has finally been announced!  Book Five: A Dance With Dragons will be released on July 12, 2011...my pre-order is set and I am now near giddy with excitement (even though I still have another entire book to read before it gets here).  Book Five, is only about 5 years after I originally expected it, but it is finally coming (although a very small part of me is expecting another delay).  I am highly looking forward to both it and the HBO series starting on April 17th (check out the trailer below).

Please don't die

But there is a problem...and it worries me greatly.  The problem is that there is still another planned three volumes to the story (at least)...which is great, but...  I've been told I sound morbid but I really (really, really) hope that he lives long enough to finish the series.  I mean think about it, this book was supposedly at least partially written in 2005, and it took George another 6 years to finish it.  George is not getting any younger and honestly doesn't look like the healthiest of people - sorry but it is true.  He is in his early sixties and if it takes him another five years per book he will be in his later seventies.  That is not unheard of, but then again people die all the time without completing their life's work.  Take half the characters in these books as a perfect example.  It might not even be a health issue...think about when Stephen King almost didn't finish the Dark Tower because he got hit by a car.  I had a huge pit in my stomach after that happened.  Luckily, Stephen King was able go on to wrap up the series (even though it wasn't as satisfying or as great as I hoped).  But it was close, he almost died and then he didn't feel like writing.  His tone changed in the books after the accident and it just wasn't quite the same...but at least there was some closure.  PS - did you see SK just announced a new Dark Tower book coming out in 2012?  I don't wish George harm certainly, and don't want to rush him...but we are dealing with some what of a time constraint (of indeterminate length).  George, I love the books, I just want to know what happens in the end.

Be sure to check out the HBO series A Game of Thrones premiering April 17th, 2011.  It looks pretty darn good.


And if you like complex, character driven stories where characters aren't black and white but all shades of grey: Read the books!  Even if you are not a fan of fantasy books, give them a try.  It is worth the time and effort.

The Roots of Dorkness...

A Creative Commons Licensed photo from GP(MPK)

I have been into comic books for nearly thirty years.  It all started in 1983.  In 1983, Star Wars was shown on HBO for the first time.  Watching Star Wars on HBO was a big deal.  It was the first time you could see Star Wars since it had been in the movie theaters years earlier.  Remember this was before DVDs, and even before everything was released on VHS.  Our family didn't have cable...cable wasn't even available in our neighborhood.  But we were invited by some family acquaintances to come over and watch.  After watching Star Wars, us kids were left to our own devices in the 'play room' while the adults enjoyed some alcoholic beverages.



There was a pool table and various stuffed animals, but after a few rounds of trying to smash each others fingers with pool balls I became bored.  Looking around I found a shoe box.  Inside was a pile of comic books...they looked ancient to my eyes (later I realized they were just a year or two old, but had been treated rough).  They weren't the best comics - a mix of mostly crappy Marvel and DC: Red Sonya, Conan, Green Arrow, Silver Surfer, Aquaman, and Fantastic Four (some of these might have actually been decent but all were in the middle of a story line so it was hard to know what was going on).

Worst blog post ever.

I had seen comic books before but they were usually Donald Duck, Popeye, or Archie...stuff that just didn't interest me at all.  These were different - realistic characters, intriguing art, complex stories, anti-heroes, and villains.  I found these comics fascinating.  I guess I showed enough interest that the box of comics was given to my brothers and I.  I probably read each of the comics about 10 times.

This began an obsession that lasted about 15 years (one dorky obsession of many).  I was never a huge collector, but would gladly read whatever I could get my hands on (which wasn't much considering were we lived).  It wasn't about the money for me, it was about the stories, characters, and art.  It was a simple enough hobby, but one that helped me down the road to dorkdom and relating way too much to The Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons.  It is a hobby that still calls to me although I feel much differently about it these days.  It is a hobby that I probably spent way too much money on.  It is a hobby that I still see the impacts upon my life so many years later...but more comic stories later, this was just about the very beginning and how Star Wars made me a dork in more ways than one.

Vasectomy Madness...Really?

The past few weeks, as I get home from work and flip on the local news while I cook dinner, I have been hearing a commercial about getting a vasectomy so that you can stay home and watch March Madness basketball.  The first couple times I heard this in the background, I thought "Wha-wha-what?  No, I must have misheard.  Ha ha, who would really get a vasectomy to watch basketball."

But I kept hearing this commercial day after day.  I no longer thought I was hearing it wrong, but thought that maybe since I was only listening to it (while I was in the kitchen and the TV was in the living room) that maybe I was missing some connotation or joke.  After about a week, I finally took the time to stop what I was doing, walk to the living room and rewind and watch the commercial.  Nope, I wasn't missing anything...it was a commercial advocating getting a vasectomy so that you can stay home and sit on the couch to watch March Madness Basketball.  I find this incredibly strange.

I haven't been able to find the actual commercial I saw, but here is a clinic in Virginia that did a similar promotion last year.



And here is a news story about a Wisconsin clinic running a similar promotion.



I don't know, it is all just a strange ad campaign.  Does this work better than - get a vasectomy so you don't have to wear a condom and don't have to worry about more kids?  I guess, if you are thinking of having a  vasectomy anyways, you probably want to schedule it around a time when you want to stay home...but it sounds strange when put into a commercial.

Come on down and let us cut into your furry beanbag so that you can watch some hoops!