I Laugh So That I Don't Cry (not really)

I logged onto the interwebicon this morning and up pops Yahoo! (one of the 3 options dictated by work), I was confronted by the following image:

All I could think was "Ughhh."  I am not the biggest Motley Crue fan in the world, but I do enjoy them (except their cover of Anarchy in the U.K. - really Vince, could you say  the end "DESTROY" in a less tough sounding way?).  Escpecially, I enjoy the song Kickstart My Heart.  That song does exactly what it says, it is just like a feel good, make you get going song.  It is energizing.

I knew this commercial was going to have this song...what else could it be.  Now, I don't hate the Kia Optima...it seems like a decent, cheap mid-sized sedan.  However, it is not the car that would ever pop into my mind when I think of Kickstart My Heart.  Full of trepidation, I click the link and watch the video.  It is actually pretty funny and at least there wasn't dancing hamsters.  I'm not gonna say they sold out...because that is just dumb, if I had the chance, I would totally be Wayne's World and be going "Nuprin? Little.  Yellow.  Different." every single chance I got.  Not a sell out, good job making money, I say to the Crue.  It is just a strange fit to my mind, but then I guess people don't really write songs about low end, midsize sedans.  I guess I do have to say thanks to Kia for not using Train's Hey Soul Sister (as that has been in way to many commercials) or Limp Bizkit's Nookie (as that is one of the worst songs of all time).

Snoopy...Drop the Weapon and Put Your Hands Up!

I hate inflatable holiday decorations...OK, that is not completely true.  I don't mind if someone has like one tasteful one (ie...not Santa riding a Harley).  However, one seems to be rare to find.  Once a person puts up one inflatable holiday decoration, it seems that they feel the compulsion to put up 2 or 3 more...or even worse be like my grandma's neighbor who had no less than 11 inflatables on the lawn this Christmas.

But this isn't a story about why I don't care for the inflatables (lazy, unoriginal, gaudy), this is a story about me being completely confused by one.  I was shopping at Sears (damn straight I was seeing the softer side...in the tool aisle) when I saw a shelf of this inflatable Snoopy in the holiday clearance section.

Awww...isn't that cute.  Santa Snoopy.  I walk past, head for the check out and all of a sudden my brain goes "What the fuck was he holding?"  Seriously,  what is it....

I turned around and went back, I looked at it for a few minutes.  I called over Angie to see what she thought about it and she was just as confused as I was.  Here are the things that popped into my head while staring at the box for 20 minutes;

A German Stick Grenade

A Giant Mutant Clove

The Liberty Torch

Marijuana Bud

Some Weird Green Flower

A Sap/Blackjack

Holy Water Sprinkler - I'm sure this has a name but I don't know it.
OK, just looked it up...it is an Aspergillum.

Flashlight

Eventually, I made my purchase and went home without an answer.  This bothered me for days, but suddenly it dawned on me.  A bell.  The answer is so obvious, but yet nothing about that says bell to me.  It's green, it looks like it has petals, etc...  I guess a bell doesn't immediately say Christmas to me...well at least not a handheld bell.  Sure, the Salvation Army uses them, but when I think Christmas and bells it is always like sleigh bells or church steeple bells.  If it was yellow, gold, silver, or grey; I might have thought bell.  I confirmed my suspicions a few days later on a return trip to Sears and then an interwebicon search of the UPC.  Santa Snoopy with Bell.  All, I know is that Snoopy better be darn careful if every confronted by cops.  This sort of confusion is likely to get a beagle shot.

Missing a Stuffed Tiger

Growing up, most newspaper comic strips sucked.  I like Garfield and Peanuts when I was 7-10 years old or so, but I tired of them.  There rest just didn't interest me: B.C., Marmaduke, Rex Morgan MD, Blondie, etc...and then of course The Family Circus is there just waiting to suck.  I would read over all the comics, because I they were comics and I was a kid...I was supposed to like them right?  But I didn't.  Sure some, like Bloom County, were way over my head, but mostly I just didn't think comic strips were funny and was unable to relate to most.  I did not see myself reflected...not even in the all-American Family Circus Keane family.  Thankfully, there was The Far Side to keep me entertained with geek and wiener dog jokes.  But The Far Side wasn't on "the comics" page in our newspaper, so it always seemed separate from the rest.  I read The Far Side and spent about 10 seconds on the rest of the comics page.

That changed when Calvin & Hobbes appeared.  I am not sure when exactly that happened in our local paper, but would guess sometime in 1986.  Calvin made sense...a wild imagination, making huge messes, questioning his parents, often in trouble, and had a best pal stuffed animal (mine was a monkey).  I could easily identify with Calvin and his adventures were a joy to read.  Even more than just relating, Calvin was often times laugh out loud funny.  I read Calvin and Hobbes religiously for years until I went to college.  During college my dorm "house" had a subscription to the paper, but rarely was it actually available...someone always got up early to grab it and check sports scores and it almost never made it back to our lounge for others to read.  I lost touch and only caught a strip here and there.

I was completely shocked when I returned home sometime during my junior year and discovered that Calvin and Hobbes was over.  I didn't know what happened, I thought my paper had canceled it and I was pissed.  It wasn't until I headed back to school that I found out that creator/writer Bill Watterson had retired Calvin and Hobbes before it devolved into an unoriginal, humorless, formulaic strip.  I also recently found out that he lost some interest, too and wanted to try oil painting.  You have to respect and admire someone willing to walk away from a large paycheck in order to keep your art from falling into mediocrity and pursue other interests.  That is a tough thing to do....but it isn't the only time that Bill took a stand.

I can't believe that Charles Schulz
would approve of this shirt that my
friend Dani happened upon (and was
rightly horrified by).

I've always respected Bill for not licensing Calvin and Hobbes (except for a couple calendars in the late 80s).  It made the comic strip special, since it was the only place to see them...you didn't see a stuffed plush Hobbes in the stores, you didn't see the Calvin & Hobbes & Friends cartoon on Saturday morning, you didn't didn't see t-shirts in the mall with Calvin and his G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) sign, and you didn't see the Calvin and Hobbes McDonalds Happy Meal toys.  Unfortunately, all you see is bootleg decals of Calvin pissing on one thing or another...or even worse Calvin  praying to the cross (hmmm, promoting your Christianity by using a stolen image...especially of a character that didn't pray in the comic...seems like some kind of hypocrisy).  If you didn't read the comic, you didn't see Calvin and Hobbes - which created a special relationship between the reader and the strip...it was more like being friends that would meet for a few minutes each morning instead of a feeling of being bombarded by merchandising.  At the beginning, I really would have loved a stuffed Hobbes but in the long run, I am glad that my memories solely revolve around the comic strip and not a toy.  Calvin and Hobbes was huge.  Bill Watterson could have made a fortune by licensing Calvin and Hobbes...but he didn't want it to seem like the comic was just to sell toys, he didn't want to cheapen dilute his work, or have it transformed into something that he didn't agree with.  Thanks Bill I really appreciate your strength, it really inspires me to do the right thing instead of taking the easy money route.


This is all lead up to me saying that I finally got around to purchasing The Complete Calvin and Hobbesbook(s).  This book had been on my wishlist since it was published in 2005...but it is not a cheap book, MSRP $150, but usually around $100 on Amazon.  I didn't think $100 for 10 years of comics was a bad deal but still it was tough to justify...so I asked for it for Christmas several years in a row.  No one bit...I was sad but it is understandable, most people don't think of books as great presents.  A couple weeks ago, I randomly happened to notice that the book was available through my credit card rewards program AND I had enough points.  I ordered it and eagerly waited for it to arrive.  Dang media mail...something shipping  from Missouri shouldn't take 2 weeks.  It was torture.  I would rush home every night only to see my front porch empty of boxes.  Finally, just when I was ready to contact the company and say that it never arrived, it showed up.

I wasn't sure what to expect...I had avoided looking at this in the store because I knew that would lead to buying it immediately (and at the $150 price tag).  After opening the box, I immediately regretted not getting this set sooner.  First off, it is huge - 3 volumes weighing in at a total of 22.5 pounds, books are large format at 12.5 x 11 inches.  Comics are spaced out and don't feel cramped.  There is enough space between strips that you will not spoil future strips while reading the current strip.  Each books is a little under 500 pages...think about that, nearly 1500 pages of Calvin and Hobbes.  The quality is pretty good, hardbound, and binding seems strong.  I can't tell if it has a complete stitched binding or if it is glued in sections and then stitched but it seems pretty durable.  The pages themselves are heavy stock paper and feel very solid sturdy.  A well made book and a well laid out collection.  Most pages have 3 daily strips with Sunday strips getting their own page, other C&H art work appear randomly throughout...the kind of drawings that would appear on the covers of the previous collections.  My only complaint is that each book has a square picture on the front and back covers...these are mounted on top of the covers, instead of being inlaid so that they are flush with the covers.  I fear that some day the corners of these pictures will start to catch and peel.

I am very impressed with this collection and even though I have only made it through a couple months worth of strips so far, it evokes a strong feeling of nostalgia.  The introduction by Bill gave a little history about how Calvin & Hobbes came about and developed and why it ended.  It was nice to hear the story from the author and some of his thoughts.  Starting to read Calvin and Hobbes was like slipping back into step with my childhood friends.  Welcome back, you guys were missed.  I look forward to reading all about our adventures we enjoyed together and the ones that I missed.

photo by platypus comix

Next stop...I will be heading to The Complete Far Side .

Please Don't Kill the Interwebicon

The US Senate is considering legislation that could/would destroy the internet as we know it - in the name of helping the entertainment industry fight piracy.  I can sympathize with the entertainment industry...piracy is not a good thing and I am sure it sucks to see something you made being pirated.  But I also don't trust the entertainment industry to be the police of the internet and with the accused afforded no protections. After all, Viacom/MTV sued youtube for videos that they uploaded themselves.  With new legislation any site accused of copyright infringement or even linking to a site with copyright infringement could be shut down.  Permanently.

Of course they say that is not the intent.

The language of the legislation (PIPA and SOPA) is overly broad and vague.  It seems to have been written with little input from experts. When experts and dissenters tried to speak out they were not allowed...or were brushed off. 


Once given the power, it will be used and abused to its utmost.  Just look at the PATRIOT ACT...many of those provisions have been used overwhelmingly for everything besides fighting terrorism and now it seems impossible that we will every be rid of it.  These bills have the power to undo everything that is great about the interwebicon...and do this just to protect the interests of a few extremely rich people who paid congress $94 million dollars to write this legislation.


Please contact your Senators and Representatives.

The Fluffness of the Fluff

After Jack's funeral the other week, we went to the traditional repast/luncheon.  It was a potluck style affair where (I believe) food was brought by various funeral attendees and church members.  I really like the idea of a potluck, but unless there is some sort of organization and assignment of types of dishes it always ends up being very light on actually entree type foods and very heavy on pasta salads and desserts.  I understand, they are easy to make and delicious...but a well balanced meal this does not create.  It also leads to some mystery dishes...what is up with that dish of strange looking peas?  Oh, it is some kind of tuna surprise, who would have guessed peas would taste like tuna - thanks to Kelly for trying this so that I didn't have to.  But then again I brought nothing (I didn't know about it) and I was eating free food, so it hard to complain too much.

mmmm fluff
(Photo courtesy of mjecker)

This disproportionality of desserts leads to the dilemma of choosing which fluff to take...because you know there are going to be several.  I wouldn't say that I am an expert on fluff...but I am definitely a connoisseur and this luncheon offered a wide variety.  I decided not to choose one, I would martyr myself by taking a serving of each fluff and declaring a winner of the informal Jack's Fluff Challenge - so that all other diners would be able to make an informed fluff decision.  This is the sacrifice that I make for you, readers and diners.  I counted seven varieties and the ingredients and textures varied widely.

The first contender was the fruit salad fluff - this is the fluff that has a lot of apples, grapes, strawberries, nuts, etc... This is probably the most healthy of all the fluffs due to the high fruit content, but that same content also throws off the texture.  It is way too chunky to be a proper fluff...it was dismissed (although tasty).

Second came a couple of red fluffs...I was hoping the darker one was raspberry but both were strawberry.  Both were OK, but nothing special.  One was not mixed well enough, the ingredients weren't well distributed throughout.  The second's texture was good but the flavor was blah...I am not sure what happened here, but it just didn't have much taste...even slickery jello blobs could not make up for a lack of flavor.

Next came a yellow fluff with caramel sauce.  I wasn't sure exactly what this was, but it ended up having chunks of mini-Snickers and other candy bars in it.  A very good fluff overall...but the fluff didn't really have much taste besides the candy bars (I think a banana cream pudding mix, could have really pumped this one up to another level).

Finally, came the green fluffs.  Pistachio is the Cadillac of fluffs...but every once in a while someone sneaks a lime flavored fluff in there and it is just confusing and not right.  The lime fluff was out - it might have been good in it's own right but when disguising yourself as pistachio my expectations made you taste horrible.  The finally two fluffs...both Pistachio, both with pineapple, one had nuts and mini marshmallows, the other didn't...but the main difference was the consistency.  One was super light and fluffy...the other was more thick and runny, almost looking like straight pistachio pudding instead of fluff.

I figured the light and fluffy one would win hands down because the other just looked like a mess.  It was good, but the runny pistachio fluffy was excellent.  Maybe it wasn't cut with as much marshmallow fluff or cool whip...maybe it was mixed too much and all the whipped in air escaped concentrating the flavor.  I don't know why, but the flavor of the was just so much deeper and with the perfect balance of pineapple.  If it was a little lighter with this taste it would be darn near perfect.

Pistachio Fluff - the most delectable of fluffs.
(Photo courtesy of Secrets of a Southern Kitchen - recipe also available)

Green Pistachio Fluff Wins!

Loss of a Good Man

Last week, my step-grandfather passed away.  Jack Hennessey, was a great person to have known for the past 18 years.  It is strange to think that I have known him longer than my biological grandfather who died when I was 13.  Unfortunately, even though I have known him longer, I did not get to know him as well.  College, career, etc...got in the way and I only was able to see him a few times a year, usually during holidays when it was a busy time for everyone.  It might not have as deep of a relationship as was possible, but I couldn't help but like, respect, and admire Jack.

Jack served in both the Army and Navy when he was young, and then moved to the small town of Manilla, IA to practice medicine in the mid-1940s.  Jack was known as "Doc" to everyone in town.  He was one of the main doctors in town for almost 50 years...and not just a doctor, but a country doctor that would make house calls and such.  He also had his own practice, worked at the local hospital, volunteered for school sports and community events.  Doc delivered over 2000 babies in his practicing years...almost anyone you meet from the Manilla area seems to know and/or was delivered by Doc.  I've had this conversation several times with several different people:

Me: "I headed to my grandparents house in Manilla for the holidays."    

Random Person: "Hey, I'm from that area...who's your grandparents?"   

Me: "Jack & Lu Hennessey." 

Random Person: <look of deep thought, then smiling> "You mean Doc?  I was delivered by him."

Jack pursued everything he like with zest and pride.  His children and grandchildren, Music, reading, Catholicism, Ireland, and the University of Iowa (his Alma Mater) were just a few of the things he enjoyed and you could tell from anywhere in the house that these were some of his passions.  Photographs, records, books, Irish and Hawkeye mementos abounded.

Jack was paralyzed at the waist in 1998 after surgical complications, but that didn't stop Jack from being Jack. He harbored no anger or bitterness and continued to live the best and fullest life that he could.  Jack was the type person that makes a great role model for all others.  Live life to the fullest, be happy, do good, and have no regrets.

Unfortunately, Jack's health had been declining the last few years.  He had been in and out of the hospital a few times over the past year and went in for the last time a couple weeks ago.  It is sad, but with his failing health he was ready.  There was enough warning of the end that most of his children were able to fly in and say goodbye.  Jack was 93.

I know it will be a hard time for my grandmother and I feel sad for her...but I also know that she is the kind of strong person that can handle this grief and continue to live a happy life.  Grams, if you need anything...your entire family is here to help.

Jack, you will be missed.

Why I Haven't Gone Blu

I had a friend tell me a few months ago that "You just have to get a Blu-ray player!"  Said person was shocked when I told him that A) I don't see the point, and B) Have no plans to get one unless it happens to be built into another product that I buy like a PS3 or a new computer.  "But they're awesome..."

Not really.

"You just like watching movies in the theater instead."  This is true, but that is irrelevant and besides my point.  First let me point out the fact that this person didn't get a DVD player until 2006 or 2007.  I'm not saying that is a good or a bad thing, but I find it hard to believe that someone who all of a sudden thinks himself as a home theater after being anything but for the past 30+ years.

My main problem with Blu-ray is that they are marketing same features that they used to market DVD back in 1997.  Nowadays, Blu-ray editions come with all the cool features...extended editions, uncensored versions, delete scenes, making of documentaries, director commentaries, behind the scenes info, special web links, etc... which is all fine but none of which is requires Blu-ray over DVD.  In fact, when it first debuted DVD had all these features...but now the entertainment industry wants you to buy all the movies you already own on DVD in the newer Blu-ray, DVDs are coming with less and less...you are lucky to get the theatrical trailer.  Heck, remember when DVD used to promote the fact that you could switch angles and stuff due to the dynamic branching technology?  When was the last time a DVD actually came with this option?  I haven't seen one in years and years...not because they can't do it, they just don't want to promote DVDs.  I don't really feel like supporting a product because of all these bonus features that the studios won't even support in a couple years...plus all this stuff is just extras anyways.  They are nice to have, but not necessary.  I might watch the extras once but probably never again.  I don't watch most of the stuff on my DVDs, so why would I think that I would actually watch it on Blu-ray?  For me, it was just sad to see an industry drop support for something that my promoted so hard just a short while ago (I know they didn't drop all support, they are obviously still making DVDs)...it just hammered it home that it really is all about money and forcing new formats on customers just to make them buy the same movie again.

But it isn't just that...I don't feel that the upgrade is worth it.  I guess that DVD resolution and graphics seem good enough for me at the moment.  I don't really need a film that was made 25+ years ago to be in 1080p.  It doesn't add that much to 99% of films.  There are some films that better, crisper graphics might add a little bit to the experience...but I think it is unnecessary for most.  Even more than that...I think a lot of movies that weren't originally shot in HD but have been cleaned up for the higher resolution look creepy.  Not just really old movies either.  I saw someone watching an HD version of Pineapple Express a few months ago and it just looked wrong.  For a film like that, I expect the kind of hazy, not totally clear background that the movie had in the theater.  Watching it this time everything was way too crisp.  It left me with a very different experience...and not for the better.  Better graphics just for the sake of (supposedly) better graphics doesn't interest me that much.  If it adds up to a richer, fuller experience I am all for it...but so far, I just don't see that with many movies.  Maybe if some more talented filmmakers were using deep focus techniques for good use more often, I could see more benefit of the highest definition...but usually graphics are just used in place of a story (*cough* Transformers *cough*).

DVD had better graphics than previous formats (although I still think some of my laserdiscs had a lot better graphics than some early release DVDs)...but the jump in the graphics between VHS was much, much larger than the graphics jump from DVD to Blu-ray.  Although better graphics were a top selling point, the convenience factors were a bigger one for me...sturdy, easily portable and easy, quick navigation while watching were bigger factors for me than just graphics.  Maybe not initially as I was young and dumb, but these are the factors that I quickly came to appreciate...Blu-ray does not have any upgraded convenience features.  In fact it is even more inconvenient due to lack of Blu-ray players.  For example, they don't make a Blu-ray car player yet and your friend down the street might not have a Blu-ray player so you can't share as easy.  So really all I see as a benefit is the upgraded graphics...hey Hollywood, how about better stories?

Right now for me the benefits do not outweigh the cost...especially when the end of physical formats is probably not too many years away and everything will soon be streamed on demand.  It seems more effort than it is worth.  Do I need to buy a bunch of movies that I have already bought on VHS, laserdisc, and DVD again just to have slightly better definition?  No I don't think so.  However, if I do end up getting a Blu-ray for some reason, I would probably buy newer movies in Blu-ray...but would probably save a little money on older releases and just get the DVD version (you can only make Evil Dead look so good).

Rime of the Ancient Milkmen

I first encountered The Dead Milkmen when I was in sixth grade.  My older brother, brought home a vinyl copy of Big Lizard in My Backyard.  I wasn't sure what to think at first, most of the rest of his albums were "alternative" style music Violent Femmes, U2, REM (remember back when they were both alternative?) or heavy metal like Megadeth or Metallica...but this cartoony garish green and yellow cover didn't really seem to fit in with the rest.  Honestly, it still sticks out every time I flip through my records 25 years later.  I was intrigued and as soon as he went out, I grabbed the album and played it straight through...several times.

The Dead Milkmen reminded me of a more subversive, more adult version of Weird Al Yankovic.  The Dead Milkmen are difficult to describe, their music can run the gambit of styles but they are most often described as a "satirical punk band."  I could see that in the early days, but I think their music has long developed past the point of just being called punk.  Of course, to me punk has always referred to the 1970s punk like the Sex Pistols and the Ramones or the 80's hardcore Dead Kennedy and Black Flag.  I guess if you apply the punk label to such things as Green Day and The Offspring...then yes I guess they were punk.

Oddly jangly guitars, a quick wit, and an odd turn of phase...probably my favorite being "You wear black clothes, say you're poetic. The sad truth is you're just pathetic" which really struck a chord within me at the dawn of the goth movement - The Dead Milkmen quickly became one of my favorite bands.  They are great to sing along to on long road trips with friends and can just pick you up when life has got you down...Life is Shit is total catharsis.

I have always felt there have been two different kinds of Dead Milkmen songs - Rodney songs and Joe songs (my feeling on this was confirmed when I just recently looked up the band on wikipedia).  This belief came about originally by who sang on the songs, but it became more and more obvious, that these songs were usually written by one or the other.  Rodney songs are usually more spoken word type rants (think Stuart) that are often very blunt and very funny.  On the other hand, Joe songs are much more melodic and have more emotional depth and are more subtle in their humor...they are still hilarious but you have to listen a little closer (this Silly Dreams - this is my favorite Dead Milkmen song...how many songs do you know about cat vomit and robbery that are wistful and longing for love).  When I was young, I was a big fan of Rodney songs, but as I grew older I connected much more on the Joe songs.



The Dead Milkmen pretty much had only one hit, called Punk Rock Girl in 1988...but even that was a minor hit (we are not talking Platinum albums here).  A few others songs received very minor play on Mtv but Punk Rock Girl was their pinnacle.  Sure every frat boy seemed to know Bitchin' Camaro...but did they ever listen to anything else?  During the early 90's the Dead Milkmen released two albums through Hollywood Records (instead of their normal Restless Records) - Soul Rotation and Not Richard But Dick.  These albums were mostly Joe albums...more musical, more subtle. Most DM fans that I knew hated these albums, but after a couple listens they quickly became some of my favorite.  I would highly suggest you get them.

After one more album released on Restless Records, The Dead Milkmen decided to break-up in 1995.  It was a sad day.  It was even sadder when Dave Blood (the bassist) committed suicide in 2004.  But this post exists at this time for two reasons:

Reason #1) The Dead Milkmen released a new album in March called The King In Yellow.  16 years after their last album and when you hear those first few chords your brain will instantly know that it is the Dead Milkmen.  It is a pretty good album, mostly Rodney type songs and just good old Milkmen oddness.  If you are a fan, I would suggest you pick it up.  I hadn't heard anything about this album and just happened to randomly go to the Dead Milkmen website and saw that it had just came out.  I hadn't been to the DM website in years, so obviously it was fate.  Glad to see you guys back.  I am not sure why it is called The King in Yellow.  I assume it has some kind of connection to the early horror novel by Robert W Chambers...but I haven't read it so, I don't see the connection.  Although I like the music (Meaningless Upbeat Happy Song), I don't really care for the cover...seems too forced.

Reason #2) Joe Jack Talcum (AKA Joe Genaro, AKA Butterfly Joe, AKA Joe the guitarist/singer from Dead Milkmen) will be playing at the Maintenance Shop in Ames tomorrow night (Friday 10/21/11) 9pm.  I think tickets are like $12.  Although I don't necessarily agree with this statement on the M-Shops website "Joe Jack Talcum was in 90s powerhouse The Dead Milkmen" - I am not disagreeing that he was in the Dead Milkmen but that DM could be called a 90's powerhouse.  I saw the Dead Milkmen live once in the early 90s and it was a great show.  Joe has been through Iowa several times since with his side project bands or just solo...unfortunately, I always fine out about it a few days after.  I do know that he plays a lot of Dead Milkmen songs as wells as a selection from his various other bands.  It will be an entertaining show.

Zombie Burger

The other night, Angie and I decided to give Zombie Burger a try since we would be in the area.  Being a fan of zombies in general, I have been wanting to try it since it opened a couple months ago, but this was the first time that it was really convenient...and it is October after all.  This isn't just a slapdash mash-up of pop culture icons. Zombie Burger is the creation of Chef George Formaro...you may know him from such local ventures as Centro and Django, among others.  If there is one thing that I have learned over the years, the food he creates is always excellent.  So what exactly is Zombie Burger?  It is a fun artisan/gourmet burger joint.  Think of a Red Robin but hipper and with zombies and humor.  They are not gourmet burgers, they are "goremet".

The restaurant was brighter than I thought it would be.  I was expecting all black walls with tinted windows...I figured they would go all out with the zombie theme and the whole place would be dark and dreary.  It was really quite pleasant with walls that were a bright green or a muted, neutral tan-grey.  The zombie theme was immediately evident with a couple large zombie murals, chain link fence, and industrial aluminum grates partially covering the windows..."to keep the zombies out or to keep them in," I wondered.  But it wasn't over done...the zombies were definitely just accents.  The zombies were evident but not overwhelming, which I think is better for the long term success.  Tables, chairs, tableware were all simple but nice.  I wasn't expecting cloth napkins but that is always a nice touch...just because you are serving zombie flavored food doesn't mean that you can't be all fancy and stuff.

The menus looked like newspaper, with all articles relating to zombies.  I didn't get a chance to read it all because A) I was hungry and wanted food...braaaaains, B) we were on time schedule.  But the parts I did read were hilarious.  My favorite part was in the Advice Column and the article started off something like "Dear Bill, my boyfriend recently became a zombie (his ex-girlfriend is a zombie, so I am pretty sure that's where he got it)."  It cracked me up.  The whole thing was full of jokes and sometimes subtle humor.  It was done really well.

Zombie Burger offers the following on their menu:

• Appetizers - the normal stuff like fries, cheese curds, fried pickles, etc... I was a little disappointed that they no longer carry onion rings, but they did have the fried brussel sprouts that piqued my interest (and their fries are supposedly delicious too).

• Soylent Greens - salads

• Bashed Brugers - come standard with a Special Grind Patty, but you can also get as a veggie patty, chicken breast, or grilled portobello.  9 times out of 10 I would get the standard patty but I like having options in case I am in a strange mood.  You can also choose your number of patties between one and three (like on a BK Stacker...but good).

• Rippers - fried hot dogs

• Brain Freeze - specialty shakes (alcoholic versions available).

I was here for a good burger.  I decided to forgo appetizers and instead get a burger and a ripper (fat guy in the making!).  I had made fried hot dogs myself but wanted to see how they stood up to a restaurant version.  I chose the simple Zombie Dog for my ripper which came only with a house mix of mustard and relish for toppings...I really wanted to focus on the dog itself.  I had heard that the Chef had developed a new recipe for the buns that made them really spongy and soft...and they were.  The buns complemented the smashed burger patty really well, but the bun really stood out on this simple hot dog.  Spongy, moist, and delicious...it was less like a bun and more like a really thick piece of bread, that just felt good in your mouth. Although the ripper was good, I would have preferred that it had been cooked longer.  I would have liked the skin really crisp and even blackened a little bit.  I know that is not for everyone, but that is how I like my hot dogs.

For my burger, I chose a Undead Elvis single patty.  The Undead Elvis has peanut butter, fried bananas, bacon, American cheese, mayo, and a fried egg.  This was a step into uncertainty for me...I really do not like egg yolk.  Just the thought of egg yolk makes me gag sometimes and to see someone dipping their toast into it on tv makes me feel a little nauseous (why would you do that to perfectly good toast?).  My good friend CT has recommended the Kill Bill Tenderloin at Centro to me many times, but the sunny side up egg always killed it for me.  I thought about getting the Undead Elvis without the egg, but then I steel my internal thoughts and gagging and decide to just go for it.  I can handle one egg.  And I did, the burger was pretty dang good.  The peanut butter and bacon was awesome but the fried bananas kind of got lost in the rest of the flavors...I blame the egg.  Overall, it was a very good burger and I would highly recommend it.

Angie got the Trailer Trash burger and although she only ordered a single, I am pretty sure that the burger they brought out was a double tap.  The Trailer Trash burger contained American cheese, fried pickles, chicken fried bacon, cheese curds, and ranch mayo.  It was also very good, but I preferred mine just a little more.  The deciding factor for me was the cheese curds...it was more like one gigantic cheese curd and about half an inch thick.  By the time I tried a bite of her sandwich (which was quite a while after we got our food) the cheese curd had cooled enough that it was no longer gooey inside.  It was just too much rubbery cheese for me.

Can't believe I missed this.
Photo courtesy of catmorley.fblog.me

I really enjoyed the food, I look forward to going back and trying more burgers...but the choices are difficult...already there are 4 or 5 I am seriously contemplating for my next visit.  The first visit was easy...how could I not get the one with peanut butter and fried bananas, but now comes the difficult choices (and hopefully room for a shake...maybe even an alcoholic one if I am not driving).  Plus I have to see the awesome bathroom signs that I missed the first time around.

Zombie Burger
300 E Grand
Des Moines, IA 50309

Kindle Fire

A couple thoughts on the newly announced Kindle Fire, Full Color 7" Multi-touch Display, Wi-Fi.  These are just very quick first impressions without really digging into any details or facts about the thing.

• If they have a good (and affordable) comic book subscription service, it is probably worth it to me...this is the killer app on the iPad for me.  Amazon just had to show a picture of The Watchmen didn't they.
• I don't know how much I will actually use it for reading e-books.  The standard Kindle's e-ink is so nice to read, that I don't think I could easily switch to a backlit screen again.  I guess it will be good to read in the dark though.
• Streaming movies from Amazon looks easy...especially if you are a Prime subscriber (and the new 20th Century Fox content agreement).  
• It is at a very nice price point for a tablet computer.
• Looking forward to seeing all the Android apps that work on it.
• Looks to have much better music controls, so could actually be used for audiobooks and mp3s.
• Kinda kills all the arguments for a Nook.
• My experience with my regular Kindle makes me really curious to see how this performs.
• Looks like a lot of distractions to keep me from reading.
• I suppose the next Kindle iteration will be called Blaze^TM (or something else equally bad).
• I'll probably get one, but don't feel the need to be a first adopter.