Last week I did something that I always thought was not actually possible...just one of those stupid things that happens in cartoons. You know the scene where Daffy or Tom from Tom and Jerry steps on a rake and it smacks them in the face? I remember thinking as a kid that it was so dumb and cliche because who is stupid enough to step on a rake? Well folks, turns out that I am that stupid. I was cleaning out a section of my garage, turned around and the edge of the my foot hit the rake and BAM! Right in the eye. I expected to see stars or little birds flying around my head. I didn't but it was hard enough that I felt a little faint and was sore for days. Luckily it didn't give me a black eye or I would have had to use the excuse that I "ran into a door" when I was with the GF-Unit.
Anyhow, I just want to say that Sylvester, Wile E Coyote, Tom the Cat, Sideshow Bob, and all the rest of the lovable cartoon bad guys that I feel your pain with the rakes. And yes it really does hurt! No longer will I live in ignorance and laugh when a cartoon character is smacked in the face with a gardening tool. We must stop cartoon violence now! It is not funny people!
Plans for this week:
- Strap some rockets to my roller skates
- Fire myself out of a cannon
- Stick my fingers in the barrel of a shotgun
- Try to run through a tunnel painted onto a cliff
- Get a giant U shaped magnet
Sincerely,
Michael - Super Genius
I think I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.
3 comments:
I can't believe you left off crushing either part or all of yourself flat and blowing it back up through you thumb. Always a favorite of mine.
Too bad you didn't really hurt they eye, I have this eye patch sitting at home and no reason to use it.....
Plans for next week included:
1) Crushing self and re-inflating by blowing through thumb
2) Enlgarging fist by blowing in thumb in order to clobber someone
3) Making a girl out of dynamite that will blow up when my enemy kisses her
4) Arguing with someone whether it is Rabbit or Duck season...then of course changing my argument in the middle thus tricking them into agreeing with me
Hopefully I don't have rabbit-itis.
Only buy these items you speak of from ACME. (i.e. giant magnet, rocket roller skates, etc..)
J.B. Dixon
(Acceleratti Incredibilis)
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