Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
- Do you eat the Perfect Hot Dog first, knowing that since you are starving that it will taste even better? But the second not great hot dog will be that much worse because your appetite has been partially fulfilled.
- Do you eat the Bad Hot Dog first, because its faults will not be as evident in your hunger? Plus the Perfect Hot Dog will still taste good (being perfect) but just not as good as it could have.
I have always been the eat the bad hot dog first type person...because it gives a more consistent overall experience I think. The bad dog is elevated and the perfect dog is diminished leaving both in the middle ground area.
I hate myself for this. I think it is the safe way to live. It is the boring, risk-free way to live. Sure you don't get the lows but you also don't get the extraordinary highs. I am trying harder to reach for perfect dog first to experience the more ultimate life experience.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
I like Mitchum because it is one of the few brands that offers an unscented clear gel deodorant. Amazingly enough, I really don't want my armpits to smell like an ocean breeze or "sport". I by deodorant to get rid of smells not replace them. Their old advertising slogan was good - something like "So strong you can skip a day." It tells you that the product works so well, that even if you skipped a day you probably wouldn't smell...and it did work, I don't know about skipping a day but as far as deodorants go it is one of the better ones. But I can see how some company exec probably thought that the slogan was encouraging people to skip a day consequently they were only selling half as much as they could be.
So the advertising started to morph into Mitchum Man stuff. It started off with slogans that sounded somewhat similar to the old slogan like "Go ahead Mitchum Man wear the same shirt you did two days ago." But the idea of the Mitchum Man being the ultimate man soon took over and they started putting "You're a Mitchum Man if..." type slogans on each stick of deordorant. This is wear I really had a problem with it...they made me feel stupid for buying their deodorant because I most definitely was not a Mitchum Man. From what I can tell from these slogans a Mitchum Man was a dumb, arrogant, slobby, unhealthy, redneck asshole. Examples (from memory over the past 3 years, so they may not be exact):
- If Corn Dogs are your favorite vegetables...you're a Mitchum Man
- If you ever convinced her that the photos were for your private collection...you're a Mithcum Man
- If you ever urinated for more than 60 seconds straight...you're a Mitchum Man
- If your socks almost match...you're a Mitchum Man
- If you flex in the mirror while everyone is watching...you're a Mitchum Man
- If mowing the lawn is your idea of exercise...you're a Mitchum Man
- If the hardware store is your idea of shopping...you're a Mitchum Man
- If you've ever had a one night stand...you're a Mitchum Man
- If you've ever been the Wingman and The Man in the same night....you're a Mitchum Man
- If you're not sure you own an iron...you're a Mitchum Man
- If your singles ever helped pay a young woman's tuition...you're a Mitchum Man.
I just hated waking up every morning and seeing one of those stupid sayings. It was a bad way to start every day. However there were a few that I have seen that I did like:
(on the side of a city bus) If you could totally parallel park this baby...you're a Mitchum Man. (in a subway) If you ever hurdled anything while running for the train...you're a Mitchum Man (the one on a stick that I liked) If you order your coffee is small, medium, or large...you're a Mitchum Man (I hate having to learn a new language to buy coffee. The scene in Role Models was brilliant, that is exactly how I feel.)
I was very happy when I bought Mitchum the other day and instead of a stupid saying, they had a sticker that said something like "New Great Look, Same Great Product." Thank you Mitchum for finally coming to your senses because you almost lost me as a customer. Glad you stopped trying to copy Axe for the manliest man competition.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
- It is a holiday that is mainly propagated by the greeting card and candy companies. Obviously they only care about profits.
- It is a holiday designed to make you feel like crap if you don't have a significant other on this one stupid day...you are somehow a misfit in society. Seriously, single people do not have a good option on this day...either you stay home and everyone thinks you are a loser or you go to a bar and everyone thinks your just trying to pick someone up so you don't feel like a loser.
- It has become very generic where men are supposed to buy their loves flowers (oh but not any flowers, roses), candy, cards, and take them out for a romantic dinner and evening...variation to this routine is not encouraged.
- Since this is so much of a tradition, everything costs way more than it usually does and all restaurants are packed.
- Really? Only one day to celebrate your love, one day that is supposed to amend for you being an idiot to your significant other for the rest of the year?
- If you plan a big romantic Valentine's, it is almost always a disappointment...there is just no way that reality can ever live up to the hype created.
Personally, I have always felt you should be nice to your significant other all year round, not squeeze it all into one day. Now give me one day a year where I can treat someone like shit and not have any future repercussions because it was St Gubby's Day and I would sign up for that...I'd even buy a card. Or let's go back to Scooby Doo and A-Team valentines and drop all the uber-romance crap.
I think these cleavers by Elizabeth McGrath would be perfect for Gubby Day as well as Valentine's Day.
PS...Although I tend to boycott as much of the tradition as possible, I can not be the guy that completely ignores Valentine's Day. GF-Unit and I spent a nice day going to Coraline, with her son-unit, and America (human). We then proceeded to go out for a late lunch and headed to the Chops hockey game...definitely not your traditional Valentine's Day (for some reason hockey games don't come across as romantic) but nice enough.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
- Pegacorn (or flying unicorn or horned Pegasus if you will) rearing triumphantly and majestically - check out the definition at Urban Dictionary. "Strong enough to beat sasquatch." Enough said.
- A graceful butterfly on the second hand
- A beautiful arrangement of silk flowers (for the butterfly to visit once a minute)
- Diamond-like reflective tape used for the hour markers
- Ornately crafted of silvery-gold painted plastic
- Pegacorn! (it needs to be emphasized)
Yep. This clock has everything but is extra special to me because it has been part of my weekly routine for the past 5+ years. I am not sure when BJs actually got the clock but I am sure it was there for a while before I noticed it....or maybe it is like the one true ring and was hiding from my eyes, not wanting to be in my keeping.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
You know when you buy food and they have a dotted line printed across the package and it says something like "Tear Here for easy opening". In theory this is a great idea but in experience this never works for me. I start off tearing on the line just fine but as soon as I am an inch away from the edge of the package it all goes horribly wrong. Either it rips up and away from the line so that I have to start tearing from the other side (with the same result) or it tears down and often ruins the bag for any chance of re-closure. I have tried going fast, I have tried going slow...unless the package is perforated the entire length it does not work. It just makes me angry because it should be such and easy thing...and if it didn't have "Tear Here" I would have just used the scissors and all would have been awesome. I want my beef jerky damn it! And I want it in a bag that is not destroyed in the opening process.