Thursday, January 26, 2012

Snoopy...Drop the Weapon and Put Your Hands Up!

I hate inflatable holiday decorations...OK, that is not completely true.  I don't mind if someone has like one tasteful one (ie...not Santa riding a Harley).  However, one seems to be rare to find.  Once a person puts up one inflatable holiday decoration, it seems that they feel the compulsion to put up 2 or 3 more...or even worse be like my grandma's neighbor who had no less than 11 inflatables on the lawn this Christmas.

But this isn't a story about why I don't care for the inflatables (lazy, unoriginal, gaudy), this is a story about me being completely confused by one.  I was shopping at Sears (damn straight I was seeing the softer the tool aisle) when I saw a shelf of this inflatable Snoopy in the holiday clearance section.

Awww...isn't that cute.  Santa Snoopy.  I walk past, head for the check out and all of a sudden my brain goes "What the fuck was he holding?"  Seriously,  what is it....

I turned around and went back, I looked at it for a few minutes.  I called over Angie to see what she thought about it and she was just as confused as I was.  Here are the things that popped into my head while staring at the box for 20 minutes;

A German Stick Grenade
A Giant Mutant Clove

The Liberty Torch

Marijuana Bud
Some Weird Green Flower
A Sap/Blackjack
Holy Water Sprinkler - I'm sure this has a name but I don't know it.
OK, just looked it is an Aspergillum.

Eventually, I made my purchase and went home without an answer.  This bothered me for days, but suddenly it dawned on me.  A bell.  The answer is so obvious, but yet nothing about that says bell to me.  It's green, it looks like it has petals, etc...  I guess a bell doesn't immediately say Christmas to me...well at least not a handheld bell.  Sure, the Salvation Army uses them, but when I think Christmas and bells it is always like sleigh bells or church steeple bells.  If it was yellow, gold, silver, or grey; I might have thought bell.  I confirmed my suspicions a few days later on a return trip to Sears and then an interwebicon search of the UPC.  Santa Snoopy with Bell.  All, I know is that Snoopy better be darn careful if every confronted by cops.  This sort of confusion is likely to get a beagle shot.


Lax Guy said...

German Stick Grenade was my first thought too...
Bell was my second. Maybe it's supposed to be bronze? They make bells out of bronze right?

Michael said...

These pictures are WAY better and clearer than the small one on the box.

Once I hit on bell I thought that maybe it was patina'd copper or bronze...but it is so hunter type green that I don't know. I think China just had green nylon left over.

Good to hear from you LG.

Cameron Ted said...

maybe a light saber?

word: FICENT
usage: She was acting bitchy and ficent all night.

Michael said...

Omg...light saber never crossed my mind. This changes everything.