But this isn't a story about why I don't care for the inflatables (lazy, unoriginal, gaudy), this is a story about me being completely confused by one. I was shopping at Sears (damn straight I was seeing the softer side...in the tool aisle) when I saw a shelf of this inflatable Snoopy in the holiday clearance section.
Awww...isn't that cute. Santa Snoopy. I walk past, head for the check out and all of a sudden my brain goes "What the fuck was he holding?" Seriously, what is it....
I turned around and went back, I looked at it for a few minutes. I called over Angie to see what she thought about it and she was just as confused as I was. Here are the things that popped into my head while staring at the box for 20 minutes;
|A German Stick Grenade|
|A Giant Mutant Clove|
|The Liberty Torch|
|Some Weird Green Flower|
|Holy Water Sprinkler - I'm sure this has a name but I don't know it.|
OK, just looked it up...it is an Aspergillum.
Eventually, I made my purchase and went home without an answer. This bothered me for days, but suddenly it dawned on me. A bell. The answer is so obvious, but yet nothing about that says bell to me. It's green, it looks like it has petals, etc... I guess a bell doesn't immediately say Christmas to me...well at least not a handheld bell. Sure, the Salvation Army uses them, but when I think Christmas and bells it is always like sleigh bells or church steeple bells. If it was yellow, gold, silver, or grey; I might have thought bell. I confirmed my suspicions a few days later on a return trip to Sears and then an interwebicon search of the UPC. Santa Snoopy with Bell. All, I know is that Snoopy better be darn careful if every confronted by cops. This sort of confusion is likely to get a beagle shot.