Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Two Minutes Hate

DoucheTooth

There is a time and a place for bluetooth headsets.
  • You are driving and you need your hands free to drive, eat food from the drive-thru, apply makeup, change CDs, etc...
  • You are going to be on a really long call...like you are trying to get tech support and the company has moved their customer service to India - your arm is going to go numb before that call is over.
  • You are a badass counter terrorist agent who needs hands free to kill bad guys - or if you work support for one of these badass agents

Let's be clear - you are not Jack Bauer. You are one of those people that ALWAYS has their bluetooth headset on - in restaurants, in movie theaters, in bars - you are DoucheTooth. Trust me, you are not that important...you don't need to be that connected with your posse (plus you barely even receive any calls and the calls you do get last for less than a minute - you are a douche, no one wants to talk to you). Plus don't you think that is just rude to everyone you are with? I mean, your phone is more important than the people you are with. Come on douche, get rid of the headset when you are out. No one thinks you are cool, important, or rich because you have a bluetooth headset - they are looking at you because you have a big stupid piece of plastic hanging off your ear.

End Hate

5 comments:

Aetraxx said...

I totally agree!
There was a chick that I used to work with that NEVER took hers out. I always asked her if she was expecting a call (cell phones are banned in our office). Some times I'd whisper, "Captain, we're being hailed," when I walked by her b/c she looked like Uhura...

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything you wrote. Also, thanks for actually updating your blog more than once a decade, like Cam and JB.

Thad

Anonymous said...

I personally refuse to use these stupid things coz they drive me nuts. I hate to say that my mom (as you well know) is one of these annoying people who are obsessively attached to their blue tooth. She even sees it necessary to force my son to use the stupid thing because the simple act of unplugging it is obviously too much work.

What I find even more annoying is that it takes an extended amount of time to answer the phone because the little gadget is too advanced for the user to be able to operate properly.
GRRRH!

BTW, thanks for taking care of me while I've been fighting off the alien-forms trying to inhabit my body... at long last I think they are returning to the mothership because I'm too strong for them. Going to bed soon so they don't regain a foothold.

xoxo

Michael said...

Who is this? Are you stalking me?

PS - I think the aliens have long taken over, you will have a chumpy burst from your stomach any minute.

Jessica said...

I am officially using the term Douche Tooth from now on. Awesome.