"Fun Day" at Adventureland

On Sept 11th I went to the local amusement park, Adventureland.  I wasn't about to let the terrorists win by not having fun on this day.  It was a beautiful weekend and I figured with all the 9/11 stuff going on that the park might not be too busy.  Neither Jesse Eisenberg, nor Kristen Stewart were working that day.

I had been years since I had been to Adventureland...the closest that I could figure out was perhaps I was there around 2001.  I am not sure why it had been so long.  Adventureland is a pretty decent amusement park...sure it is not as big or as exciting as World's of Fun, Six Flags, or Disney...but it 10 minutes away.  I  think part of my long absence had to do with the fact that Adventureland didn't really change that much for a long time.  The last time I was there The Underground was still being touted as the new, exciting ride and it was several years old at this point (and sucked).  I guess, being older is also part of it - either no one wants to go or everyone has kids (and I've had plenty of the Infant Ocean).

Adventureland had changed a lot since I had been there.  I knew there were lots of new rides like the Space Shot and Splash Over, as well as, the entire new water park area Adventure Bay.  Then there was the fire a couple years back.  The heart of Adventureland remains - the circuit where you head left, jump on the Galleon, walk back grab a funnel cake, twirl on the Lady Luck, head to the Tornado, take a spin on the Silly Silo, and then jump aboard the Sky Lift to start back at the beginning.

The Tornado - a classic

I brought my swimsuit to check out Adventure Bay, but it was closed...which makes sense, I am sure it would take more effort than it is worth to keep the water clean all week only to be open on the weekends.  I was a little sad, I didn't get a chance to test it out though.  There was still plenty to do.  I enjoyed all the rides that I went on (a couple like Splash Over and the Inverter happened to be closed this day).  Space Shot was just what I expected and fun.  Short lines meant next to no waiting, so you could easily ride several times in a row.  All three roller coasters were still pretty good.  The Outlaw was rougher than I remembered, but the Dragon still knocked my head around leaving me with a minor headache...just like I remembered.  The Tornado is still a highlight for me.  It doesn't really have any gimmicks like many of today's coasters, it doesn't go upside down, it doesn't corkscrew, or have an incredible vertical drop...The Tornado is just a classic wooden roller coaster and is still pretty thrilling and fun 35ish years later.  The first (and maybe the second or even third) time I went to Adventureland as a child, I was too short for the Tornado.  I was super envious of my older brother who could ride (although secretly a little relieved too).  I wonder if the still sell the "I survived The Tornado" t-shirts like they used to in the 80's.  I didn't think to look.  The Tornado really doesn't seem that scary of a coaster now, but I remember it being the height cool to have one of these tees back in the day.

My favorite ride of the day...well, probably the Silly Silo.  That has always been one of my favorites ever since I first came to Adventureland.  How can you not like spinning until you are stuck to the wall?  It is awesome.  I didn't ride it fifteen times in a row like when I was a kid (even though I was tempted), but a couple times was good and brought back good memories.  Luckily, I have never been on it when someone has vomitted, but it did happen while I was sitting on the bench waiting for friends to get back from the Log Ride...employees rushed up with buckets, mops, and bleach, and the Silo was closed for about 30 minutes.

Yee-Haw

My favorite "new" ride...new to me...was The Sidewinder.  This ride did not exist the last time I was here.  It is a giant swinging arm, where riders sit in saddle shaped seats on rotating disc at the bottom of the pendulum.  I thought the best way to ride was to just be totally relaxing and let your body flop around like a rag doll.  It was good time - short bursts of free fall when the pendulum hit its peak and then nice centripetal force as it swings down and back up the other way.  Since the bottom of the pendulum slowly rotated, you were never sure if you would be facing up or down when you hit the top of the arc.  Both where fun, but I found I had to grab hold of my sunglasses when I ended up facing down...next time, they will be in my pocket (lesson learned).  Every one of the the "new" rides were lots of fun, and I must applaud Adventureland for adding a good variety of entertaining rides over the past decade.

Der Flitzer/Himalaya  (photo courtesy of
Lakesidecyclone @ Coaster Fanatics)

Even though all those are all still good, I still really miss the Der Flitzer roller coaster (my family called it the Himalaya coaster...in fact, I didn't even know it was called anything else until writing this piece and trying to find a picture).  It was the small snow capped mountain themed coaster, that was to the left as you walked in the park in the Alpine area...where the Giant Skywheel is now.  The coaster was the epitome of Adventureland for me for several reasons.  First, it was the coaster that I could always ride (when I was too short for the Tornado) and I always rode it several times whenever my family went to Adventureland.  Der Flitzer was also always the first ride we went on...probably because it was the first ride that you would come to when entering the park, but that is besides the point.  Once you rode this, you really felt like you were at Adventureland and were ready for a day of rides, games, and cotton candy.

Take a chance and win some crap!

I was disappointed in the Alpine Games area...including the new arcade.  Although I have heard that this area didn't bring in as much money as the other two games areas.  This was always the games area for me...it had the huge bank of full size skee ball machines, it had ring toss, frog launch, and the various basketball and milk can games.  It had a little bit of everything.  I remember playing skee ball there with my older brother and working on winning a couple small stuffed moose, that we then combined and traded for a large stuffed moose...which we would then fight over who actually owned the moose for the next several years.  Sure, we probably spend $25 for a $1.50 moose, but that moose was pure gold in our hearts.  The Alpine Games area was on the way out...this is where you would spend the last of your money.  You didn't want to be that guy that wins the huge stuffed animal and then look stupid carrying around all day (I'm looking at your shaved headed, Harley vest guy carrying the giant stuffed neon green raccoon).  Wait till you are about to leave, then play the games.  This was my philosophy.  Most of that area is gone now.  There are still a few of the stand alone games, but the ones connected to main street are all gone in the re-built main street.  Supposedly, this elimination of these games gave more room for the Penny Arcade.  I always loved this arcade...I loved the fact that at least half of the arcade was dedicated to classic games - Pac Man, Donkey Kong, Galaga, Ikari Warriors, Spy Hunter, Jungle Lord pinball...you could go in this arcade and just play tons of great games from the Golden Age of video games.  It was something special, something that you just didn't see very often any more.  I guess they all burned in the fire because the new arcade might have been bigger but it had far fewer games (I would call it a handful) and they were all the new ticket redemption games like Deal or No Deal or Big Bass Wheel.  It just didn't seem like an arcade...you can play just as many (and the same games) in Wal-mart.  So what was taking up all the room in the "new and bigger" arcade?  Adventureland decided to move the G-Force ride in there (that was like the Scrambler but for little kids).  It was very disappointing.  I knew it would be difficult replacing some of the classic games, but I had hoped they would at least have a few...and if not, may be some newer arcade games that you don't see every place else.  I don't even think they tried.  It is sad.

It was a "Fun Day"

My favorite thing of the entire day though was a sign right outside of the souvenir shop as you first walked in the gates.  This sign brought me all kinds of joy (sorry for the not so great picture).  Why would this be written in some sort of title case?  But even more pressing what do you mean by "Fun Day"?  Usually when something is in quotes like that, it doesn't actually mean what the words actually say...or is said in a sarcastic tone.  I know there a entire blogs dedicated to inappropriate use of quotation marks, so it is nothing really new, but I still found it highly amusing.  After reading this sign, I wasn't entirely sure how much fun I was actually going to have...maybe they were trying to tell me something!  But it did start off the day with a smile and snicker at other people's idiocy.

Adventureland stands up better than I thought it would 10 years ago.  I had a good time...although I wish it was a little less expensive.  If you haven't been to Adventureland in a while, I would suggest that you check it out.  For me it was a good mix of new experiences and old memories.

Last Minute Christmas Idea #4

Last minute gift idea #4: The Boardgame Remix Kit.

You ever get a little bored with the games you have?  These guys took four of the most popular games -Clue, Monopoly, Scrabble, and Trivial Pursuit and remixed, combined, and re-wrote them to make all new games, new ways to play, speed versions, and rule tweaks.  An exciting way to add new life to your old games.  Why sit around watching crappy reality TV when you can dust off your board games from when you were a kid.

Available in book, card, ebook, and iphone app.  Sounds like a lot of fun trying them all out...maybe some day there will be a Kackle Dackle remix.

It's a Mystery, It's a Mystery

Editors Note - just realized that an old draft of this was published...no idea why.  Made a few corrections. Sentences cut off, bad formatting, etc... fixed  07-31-2010

Since I have had very poor lucky in getting a Woot Bag of Crap lately. I decided to do a Graveyard Mall Mystery Box.

Graveyard Mall is similar to Woot in the fact that they offer a different deal each day of overstock or damaged packaging products. Unlike Woot, they are not specifically tech and gadget oriented. Sometimes they have gadgets, sometimes home supplies, sometimes decor, sometimes clothing and sunglasses, sometimes comic books...they are all over the place. I've ordered from GYM several different times in the past and have both been pleasantly surprised and slightly disappointed.

I had seen the Mystery Box come up several different times but have never ordered it...mostly due to the fact that at $25, it was three times as much as a Woot Bag of Crap. The disappointment of not getting a bag of crap for a long time was starting to gnaw on me, so I decided to give the Mystery Box a try. The name Mystery Box is boring, so in my mind it became the Mystery Box of Crap. I figured this would help temper any expectations even though as I said about Woot's BoC, you are really just buying "hope" because you are most likely just going to get a box of crap.

After waiting several weeks, I was surprised at the size of the box and how heavy it was. Opening it, it was intricately stuffed with all kinds of items...stuffed, no padding material needed, there was no room and it was packed just right so that I wasn't able to come close to repacking everything so that it would fit back in the box. The funniest thing about the Mystery Box of Crap was the letter that came with it that said "Sorry, the Plasma TVs wouldn't fit in the box."  That in itself cracked me up and made the whole thing worth it.  Here is what I got for the money:

1) Russell Athletic Dri-Power performance fleece hoodie - black. I am not much of a pull-over hoodie person...zip-ups are fine but pullovers are usually too much of a pain in the ass...plus they mess up my beautiful hair. This is a nice hoodie, medium weight, supposed to wick away sweat to help keep you warm and dry. Also has the built in channels and openings for you headphones. Might be a good under layer for ice skating.

2) Jimmy Eat World DVD. A nice little live DVD with just a few songs on it. Looks like it was probably used at a promo or something...buy the CD get a free DVD type thing. Haven't had the chance to watch it yet, but I like Jimmy Eat World so I am looking forward to it.

3) Tree Frog Thermometer. Who doesn't love tree frogs and knowing what the temperature is? Combine the two and you have instant gold! I am actually using this product and it works pretty well, although it didn't quite stick the first time I hung him up and the fall cracked one of his legs (it is the thinnest plastic imaginable).

4) Emerson Research SmartSet Alarm Clock. This seems like a nice clock, sets itself automatically, dual alarm, jumbo screen, clock radio. If I needed an alarm clock this seems like it would be a pretty good option. Unfortunately, I already have several that I don't use anyway, so I gave this to my mom as she just happened to be looking for a clock for her basement. It is working great for her needs.







5) 10" Accent/Under Cabinet Light. Not a bad light, not sure what I will do with it yet...maybe on my living room bookshelves. It would be better if there were two, but I am sure that I will make one work in some way or another.





6) Electric Pepper Mill / Wine Bottle Opener / Cheese Grater. I have a couple pepper mills and I don't have much use for a wine opener. Cheese grater might come in useful sometimes. Looks like it is a decent unit, although uses "C" batteries. I'm sure it needs the power of C batteries but C batteries are not something that I ever have on hand. Plus you know C batteries just seem like they should be used in something like a vibrator or something. It might get re-gifted to my dad who needs a new pepper mill and drinks wine.





7) Hanging Plant Elephant Bracket. Originally I type "Elephant Hanging Bracket" but that sounds like something that you would hang elephants from and I don't think that this has the tensile strength to hold an elephant. It's cute and fun, I don't really have any hanging plants though. I gave it to my mom and she likes it and may use it in my niece's room.

8) Westinhouse StickUp Bulb. You can see from this packaging how full the Mystery Box of Crap was. This thing was shoved into a space in the box of Crap that it didn't really fit and the package suffered for it. The base was a little warped but the bulb and everything seems intact. It's a battery powered light bulb. Just stick up the base and pull the string...or not. I didn't seem that it also came with screws to hold down the base and even though I gave the string just a gentle tug, it all came crashing down. I think it will work great in my dark closet...once I decide to screw it down.




9) Rechargeable Electric Razor. I don't usually use an electric razor so I can't tell you how this compares to others of its kind. I tried it out Tuesday morning and it seems to do an OK job. Maybe I will use it in the future if I need a quick touch-up to my manly Five-O'Clock-Shadow.

10) Sudoku game set. A hand-held sudoku game and a sudoku controller that you can plug into your TV. I like sudoku a lot, but I usually only play it on my phone. I might test it out and see how the difficulty level is as "genius level" on my phone usually seems a little easy now. If I don't care for it, I will probably give it to someone else that has more use for it.







11) Vent Filters. This is a pack of vent filters...cut to size, place inside your vents and it filters out dust. I already use these on most of my vents. Now I have enough to filter my cold air returns also.








12) Open Ended Wrench Set. This is what formed the majority of the weight in the box. They look like nice enough wrenches although I have not tested them out yet. Wrenches are good, I already have several sets but I am horrible at putting the wrench that I used back in the proper place so it is always a chore to find the one that I need. I have also used them for unintended purposes like prying and hammering, so a few a little bent or beat up. New wrenches, I'll use them.







13) Pocket calculator. A simple pocket calender where the keypad slides out like a slide phone. Nothing really special about it that I noticed but functional.






14) 20 Q Live game. Do you like to play 20 Questions but not have any friends? Then this game is for you. This is just a USB drive with the game on it, but the packaging is like 12 inches by 8 inches...talk about a waste of packaging. Were they really that worried about theft? Or were they just trying to grab your attention. I haven't played it but the gist seems to be that you think of something, then you answer 20 questions from the computer game and it makes a guess at what you are thinking about. According to the box it "can read your mind"...whatevs.



15) Digital Voice Recorder. I really have no need for this. I don't record meetings and if I need to leave myself a note then I have my phone. Maybe I will give it to my niece to play with.

:-(

16) Emoticon Notepad. A notepad with a bunch of emoticons pictured so that instead of writing a message you can just check the emoticon that applies to your situation. I don't know it seems strange...seems wasteful to have a 6" x 9" notepad and just make a check mark. Plus I am pretty sure that it would take me longer to find the appropriate emoticon than to write a note. Plus it doesn't even have the dirty ones like:

( . )Y( . )

or

\|/

or

8===D

or

,,!,,

I would have had much more use for something like that. What is the emoticon meaning "Piece of Shit Waste of Money"?






17) Clock / Calendar / Key Holder / Voice Recorder. I definitely didn't need to different voice recorders...or leave different messages for three sets of keys. This thing is just weird, I suppose it is nice if it is something you need but to me it seems pretty useless.

Not bad. Average price of $1.47 per item. It was fun going through all the packages to see what I got. Christmas in July...and like real Christmas you get some stuff you like and some stuff from your crazy aunt that you can't believe anyone would want. I still don't know if it is better, worse, or just as good as woot. What would do you think of the haul....oh maybe I should post a "haul video" on youtube just like a teenage girl.

Beware the Prairie Chicken

It's the time of year when I put in the mind of pollinating. I pollinated corn for 17 summers...although the last few were only on the weekend due to my 'real' job. I finally stopped 5 years ago when I had LASIK performed on my eyes a couple weeks before pollinating would begin. I wasn't quite recovered in time but also the thought of getting jabbed in the eye by a corn leaf after I just spend $4500 getting them fixed gave me the willies. But I do miss it...a lot. This time of year I am always thinking of the smell of pollen in the air and rich, dark soil. The feel of dew on the corn leaves and the sun shining down relentlessly.

I also think a tiny bit about Prairie Chickens. A prairie chicken is a medium-large bird that used to be abundant in Iowa and across the central USA. Brown and white feathers and the males have large yellow comb and large orange circles on their necks that they can inflate...especially for putting on a display for the females or trying to intimidate males. Due to habitat destruction, prairie chickens are now on the endangered species list. A rather pretty bird really, but this is not what I am thinking about when I think of prairie chickens.

Picture courtesy of GregTheBusker @ flickr

A pollinator with apron

As a pollinator (much different than a detasseling) you were required to carry a lot of different stuff throughout the day. In the morning you would have a your knife and hundreds of Lawson 205 shoot bags (glycines), later you would be carrying mainly just your stapler, and after midday you would be carrying a few hundred Lawson 404 pollen bags, thousands of paper clips, you knife, pencil and memo pad, water bottle, etc... As a pollinator you were stocked with all kinds of accoutrements. To carry all your gear you were issued an apron. It was not like a cooking apron. It wasn't full torso and it wasn't for protection. Smaller, below the waist only and containing many different size pockets for all your different gear. To right is an example of what this looked like. White cotton, large deep pockets on the sides for larger items and smaller pockets in the middle front for paper clips and such. The whole thing wrapped around your waist and tied with long straps. Please forgive the crude drawings as it has been a really long time since I have actually drawn much of anything and this was done very quickly...although I think they actually turned out pretty good...see the safety glasses? And any pollinator will recognize the correct pocketing.

Performing the Prairie Chicken

So what does this have to do with prairie chickens? Well, many of the older, long time, regular pollinators played a game similar to the game in Waiting. The basic idea being that you would pull your testicles out of your shorts' zipper and let them hang underneath your apron. Then you would come up behind someone in the corn, lift your apron and make a gobbling sound...forcing the other person to look in horror at your balls. The sound didn't really sound like gobble gobble but that is the closest in words...it is more a combination of gobble gobble and the stereotypical Arab alalalalalalalala yell.

I am not sure who came up with the prairie chicken name for it (although I have my suspicions)...but it is a perfect match. I always think the display was similar to the real prairie chicken male puffing out his orange sacs.

We didn't have the various poses as Waiting...it was 10+ years before that movie was made but the principle was similar. It was silly, it was stupid, it was fun....but unfortunately now summer always reminds me a little bit of testicles.

This post is dedicated to redacted who was always the dominant prairie chicken...and had the prairie chicken call perfected (and yes, who's balls I have seen WAY more than I ever would have wanted...and I would have been more than happy to have seen them zero times). Much love to all the people that I pollinated with over the years. Gobble Gobble.


Update - The Prairie Chicken Preservation Front has attacked this website and items have been redacted at their will. They are very much like the men in black.