Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Two Minutes Hate

You Wanted the Best...

I've been a Kiss fan since I was young...like preschool/kindergarten young.  I remember getting the Kiss Dynasty album for my fifth birthday and how excited I was to sit and listen to it.  Soon after this Kiss were declining and I didn't really listen to them that much...getting instead into Prince and Michael Jackson and the regular pop music. However in late 6th grade, my love for Kiss was renewed when I started going to the used record shop.  I picked up Destroyer, Hotter than Hell, Love Gun and of course Alive II.  All the great albums that came out when I was too young.

I listened to them over and over.  Alive II was incredible to me since it was a double album and had so much great Kiss music...but it also had the one thing that I hate the most about Kiss, the one thing that makes me almost sick to my stomach because I've heard it so many times.  Probably the one thing that makes the members of Kiss want to put a gun to their temple every time they play live.

Before the song #1, side #1 - Detroit Rock City, there is a guy introducing Kiss at the concert and he saws the following phrase "You wanted the best, you got the best.  The hottest band in the world....KISS."  Fine, fine whatever.  There was something somewhat similar on the Alive I album.  It didn't bother me at first, but with each subsequent listen to the album it annoyed me more and more.  It annoyed me for the same reason that radio DJs annoy me.  I don't want to hear your stupid yammering, just play the music.

So good...except for the intro.
But the Alive II album was huge.  Multi-platinum huge.  Everyone that likes Kiss has this album....so everyone knows this phrase.  You can't see a Kiss concert without this introduction.  I remember when I first saw them live and the announcer had this introduction, I was like "Huh, he did that thing...kinda funny."  Over 20 years later it is still happening.  Every concert, every live performance, every radio station interview, even cover bands, and commercials...any time that it is ever marginally applicable, some idiot has to say this line.

It is so cliché, so generic, so painfully predicable that it makes my stomach turn every single time.  I did want the best, I did want Kiss...but I do not want your idiotic originality.  Please shut-up and just let them get on with the show.  If you are going to introduce a band, why not do it your own way rather than the way ten thousands others have done it.  It really is not cute, fun, or awesome.  Dear guy that said this on the Alive II album - I know this is not your fault.  You can not control what other copycat douchers do.  All the same, I still want to punch you in the junk.

End Hate.

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