Much Like Syphilis

I usually see my niece about once a week.  Whenever I do, I am usually forced into playing Just Dance on the Wii.  It is pretty fun game even if she usually whoops me...not surprisingly I am a terrible dancer.  There is some decent music on the game too...better than I first guessed.  The Presidents of the United States, Dee-Lite, The B-52s, Blur, The Trashmen (Have you not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard). The problem is that my niece likes the worst songs on the game and I end up dancing to Spice Girls and Katy Perry way too much. 

Katy Perry and I have been at odds before and this is more of the same.  Hot N Cold is catchy, I'll give her that.  It has wormed it's way into my mind over the past week and replays more than I would like (I would like zero).  It's not that it is a terrible song - they video is pretty terrible I thought (gee, a guy being hesitant to marry you after you were all about kissing girls a year ago?  That's unpossible.)  My problem with the song is that the lyrics are so generic.

Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right

It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

Seriously?  That makes Alanis Morissette's Ironic look like Shakespeare (PS - I love Alanis.  For excellent contrasting points see Eight Easy Steps.  Ironic was just a little generic and cheesy.).  Every time I hear Katy Perry's Hot N Cold I want to pat her on the head like a special child and go "Did you come up with all those contrasts all by yourself?  You're such a smart child!"   Much like syphilis, this song is catchy but horrible.  Fun to dance with my niece to though.

Stop Sending Me Your Whiffle Ball Scores

I am not a big sports fan. I like hockey and that is about it. Since I am not a fan, I really don't care for talking about sports with people. I don't know the players you are talking about (for the most part), I have only the more cursory knowledge of the teams, heck even the sports themselves I am probably half vague on the rules.

As much as I don't care talking about sports...I care even less about talking about your season on the Madden video game. I do like video games but again not a big sports fan with the exception of hockey and golf. For me the best games for any other sport are usually the ones where the characters have small bodies, big heads, and come in cartoon character varieties: AKA - Mario sports varieties.

I don't care how much your Madden game is like the real thing or how different the rosters are from real life, how much better your team is, etc... I don't care because I don't care about the real thing, so why would I care about a video game version. Please don't update me on this type of thing every time I see you.* This is worst than if you told me how your weekly whiffle ball game went...because it is whiffle ball.**

*This is only for sports games. Other genres of games that I find interesting, I am more than happy to talk about...but you know I don't like sports, so just stop it.

**Don't get me wrong, Whiffle Ball is awesome. Just not something anyone over the age of seven should be bragging about.

I feel like I could...like I could...TAKE ON THE WORLD!!

So when I have had some free time this week, I decided I would break out an old PC game called Day of the Tentacle (Manaic Manson 2). Why? I mean, I have my XBOX 360 sitting there with a stack of games I haven't even opened, why break out 15 year old game that ran in DOS. Why? Because it is awesome. It is just a funny game that is a joy to play. The animation still holds up fairly well for a cartoon, the characters have hilarious lines, and it is just a good old fashioned adventure game that makes you use your brain.

I was just going to watch the intro to see if it was as funny as I remembered (it was!) but I was drawn in and played for longer than I have played any video game in 6+ months. It is a game that makes you want to explore and talk to everyone. One of those games where you think to yourself "just 5 more minutes" and are still playing an hour later.

Unfortunately, they don't really seem to make games like this any more. Today, many games just seem like a grind and although they are interesting, I don't feel the same type of joy that I get from this simple game. I miss adventure games, I wish that style would make a comeback. Especially the games from Lucas Arts. Maniac Mansion, Monkey Island, Sam & Max, Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, Grim Fandango, etc... I played and loved them all. They took the place of the King's Quest games in my gaming heart which had held domain for many years. Lucas - please release all of these on Xbox Live (as well as X-Wing and Tie Fighter). I would buy them in an instant.

I encourage all of you to check out these old games, you won't be disappointed (OK, you might be but that is only because you are bitter at life and unable to enjoy simple pleasures instead filling the hole in your soul with the most depraved Internet porn you can find). As Purple Tentacle says "It makes me feel great...smarter...more aggressive...like I could...like I could...TAKE ON THE WORLD!"

Check out the intro.