Baby Beer Smuggler
This idea was obviously inspired by the genius of The Beer Belly but combined with the desire not to look like an out of shape loser. Sure you want to have free drinks but you also want to be able to attract the opposite sex right?
So my idea was to take a semi-realistic baby doll (kind of like a Reborn but not as creepy..and cheaper), hollow it out and insert a beer bladder, throw it in a bjorn type carrier and take it with you. There you go, easy access to beer (you can have a straw like the beer belly or maybe a little tap in the baby's foot), while not looking disgusting to the ladies.
The real genius of this idea:
- When entering a location - sporting event, restaurant, elementary school musical, etc... no one will ever really question a baby (and babies get in free!). Pat it softly and say that it is sleeping and don't want to bother him and no one will think twice.
- Babies allow you a lot of other (barely searched) baggage. Diaper and Bottle bags - fill non-translucent bottles with beer! Hide Twizzlers, nachos, and more in with the diapers. You can probably hide a case of beer on a stroller or a few in a car seat. No one is going to look through all those blankets and stuff.
- You can easily unstrap the baby and set it in a seat by you...try doing that with a beer belly that is hidden under your shirt.
- When finished with the stock inside the baby, simply toss it in the diaper bag. Then you can move about as normal...you are not committed to wearing the baby all night!
- Lights will be probably be dimmed at most functions, so there is very little danger of getting caught.
- Babies are a magnet for many women, again just use the "sleeping excuse" and no one will look too close. You get to meet women that you might not have approached otherwise. Also just say you are babysitting for a brother or friend and you are golden for an future dates (plus you come off as a responsible and trustworthy person).
- This baby never cries or poops but instead provides you with sweet, sweet alcohol.
- Might make you feel a little like a zombie...More Brains!