Two Minutes Hate

Subway Commercials

I am with Vlad and Teodor on the idea that Jared really doesn't make me feel good about food and has the sex appeal of a biscuit with two shits inside. However, I can usually ignore his commercials.

Until now. Have you seen the awful commercial with Jared, Michael Strahan, and Justin Tuck pretending to sing? It is pretty much the worst commercial of the year. I think it is supposed to be funny...take three guys who aren't known for their singing, then have them lip-sync to deep sonorous voices. What's not to be funny?

It is so bad that I refuse to link to it. The problem is that they are so awful at lip-syncing that it looks way more like a badly dubbed foreign film than a humorous commercial. They aren't even close to being even a little believable. Plus the song really isn't even good to begin with...but I have no idea what the song is saying because the visuals are so bad that it shuts down my brain. I am really not sure what message this commercial is supposed to be conveying to me. This commercial has the absolute opposite effect that a commercial should have. It makes me NOT want to go to Subway...but it's even more than that, it makes me angry at Subway. Even though the 5 Dollar Foot Long commercials got repetitive, at least they had a simple message and did make me want Subway every once in a while. This commercial makes me want to break the big front window in the local Subway restaurant.

I can't blame Jared...he is just some nobody who lucked into a pretty good job. I am sure they say jump and he jumps like crazy always careful not to upset his golden egg employers. But I have to think someone on the creative team or even Subway marketing had to think "This is awful, we really shouldn't do this." Why did no one step forward? Was Dick Cheney there going "Slam Dunk"? I just don't get it...this probably had to be approved by so many people.

The good news is that the greatest script for a Jared commercial has already been written. If only the marketing department would green light this idea.

End Hate