Friday, February 6, 2009

Behold the Mighty Pegacorn!

At my favorite hang out,(soon to be defunct) Billy Joe's, they have had a clock hanging on the wall for years. The clock was tucked in a corner and most people didn't even notice it, which was a good thing because it was not just any run of the mill clock.

This was a clock that was such a train wreck of odd and beautiful items that it struck horror into your heart upon first viewing. Your mind screamed "Who would do that? Who would want that abortion? It is against nature!" and your mind would be correct. This clock had a dark power though, once you saw it, you could not un-see it and it was forever etched in your brain. You would be sitting having a drink and find your gaze drawn to it again and again for no reason. Strong willed people may have been able to resist the draw of that clock, but I was not one of them. The clock had its roots in my brain and they sunk deep and tangled throughout my entire being.

When BJs announced they were closing a few months ago a panic spread within me...I must have that clock! I offered cash bribes to no avail. Evidently a customer had made the clock and so it wasn't for sale. I had hoped that the customer would not claim his clock and I would be able to pick it up at the business liquidation auction. Thanks to my hetero life pal CT, I didn't have to wait and worry. CT brokered a top secret, behind closed doors deal...which may or may not have involved souls and contracts signed in blood. CT then surprised me with the clock as an early birthday present. How awesome is that? Thanks CT!

Behold the Mighty Pegacorn! Tremble in its terrible presence.

I hoped to have a high resolution version for you but I wasn't able to get it off GF-Unit's camera before leaving for work. So until I am able to update later, you will have to cry at the loss of beauty on this crappy camera phone picture.

  • Pegacorn (or flying unicorn or horned Pegasus if you will) rearing triumphantly and majestically - check out the definition at Urban Dictionary. "Strong enough to beat sasquatch." Enough said.

  • A graceful butterfly on the second hand

  • A beautiful arrangement of silk flowers (for the butterfly to visit once a minute)

  • Diamond-like reflective tape used for the hour markers

  • Ornately crafted of silvery-gold painted plastic

  • Pegacorn! (it needs to be emphasized)

Yep. This clock has everything but is extra special to me because it has been part of my weekly routine for the past 5+ years. I am not sure when BJs actually got the clock but I am sure it was there for a while before I noticed it....or maybe it is like the one true ring and was hiding from my eyes, not wanting to be in my keeping.

Now, I sort of feel like a character from Friday the 13th: The Series (CT is probably the only person who knows what I am talking about)...I feel like the keeper of this cursed object and must keep it from falling in the wrong hands and used for evil. I will try my best to keep this hellish artifact, this clock of doom, in its place while listening to the tortured souls howl with each butterfly tick.

BTW-if you really love this clock, you can get a double pegacorn version here...but everyone knows that is fake. Pegacorns are like matter and anti-matter, you just can't have more than one in the same spot without something exploding.

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