Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Two Minutes Hate

"Hey Johnny Cash"

I tend to wear all black a lot.  Not because I am a tortured soul or need to show how goth I am.  No, I wear black mostly due to laziness.  Black pants and a black shirt are the easiest match in a wardrobe and any wrinkles happen to be less noticeable.  Plus most of my favorite shoes are black.  I think it is a pretty pleasing aesthetic - clean and sharp.  Admittedly, if I add my Danzig or spiked belt, I do feel metal...but that is just a bonus, the main reason is laziness.

I often end up wearing black 2 to 3 times a week.  Every time I will have someone (usually the same couple people) say something like "Hey Johnny Cash."  Ha ha...that is SO funny, especially after 2-3 times a week for the past ten years.  It never gets old!  And Johnny Cash is the only person in the world to have ever worn all black...so obviously I am taking after him whenever I do.  Or maybe mimes.  Don't get me wrong, I love Johnny Cash and would take that as a high compliment if they weren't just talking about my clothes.  I always wonder if they even know anything about JC besides that he wore black.  I doubt it.

It is just such a dumb thing to say EVERY time.  I mean I don't say "Hey Magnum P.I." every time you wear a stupid, ugly Hawaiian shirt (way too often).  Just remember, every time you call me Johnny Cash, I feel like Johnny Cash.

End Hate


Cameron Ted said...

Dear Mikala-
you don't do it because Magnum is reserved for AWESOME moustaches! Everyone know that. Now for Hawaiian shirts you can call them Peepyopee, because there is sadness in their eyes and soul, that or call them what ever there real name is here.

signing off

word: mulole (oddly enough, sounds a little Hawaiian)

Cameron Ted said...


Word: aluoni (also a little hawaiian)

Lax Guy said...

I feel ya. I have one that much worse than that: Since my name is Adam, about 1/3 time I am introduced to new people - adults, usually over 40 - I hear "Where's Eve?" Who the hell would ever think that is witty or even remotely funny. It takes all I have not to punch them in the face and/or testicles.
At least the Johnny Cash line takes a little bit of cognitive activity to come up with, albiet very little. They at least make the connection between two gentlemen that chose to wear black. In my case they are simply putting together the names of the (alleged) first two people in existence, as if I choose my name on a daily basis the way I chose which shoes to wear. Definitely the easiest way to make me hate a person...

Michael said...

Hawaiian Name: Mikale...how boring.

Hell Lax Guy, that would make me want to stab someone in the throat.

kelly said...

Ha, never in a million years have I ever thought "Eve" when I've heard or known someone named Adam. Sure, maybe I would have been guilty of Adam-12 when I was young, or Ad-Rock during high school when the Beasties were big, but I never made the obvious Eve connection.

Having grown up with a girl name, one that rhymes with "Smelly" no less (clever!), I stopped responding to my name altogether sometime during second grade. Even know when I hear someone say Kelly, it doesn't register, I just assume they're talking to someone else.

Michael said...

I stopped responding to my name too, but only because it is the most popular boys name for the past 50ish years. I am not the most popular so therefore when someone was talking to Michael, 99.9993% of the time it was not me.

*Lesli* said...

I have never EVER thought of asking about Eve when I hear Adam. And my son's father's name is Adam...and I was never referred to as Eve. Huh.

As I do love me some JC...I am one of those people that refer to him when I see someone wearing all black. I even refer to myself when I wear all black (often). I say, "Hey! I'm JC today!". Now I feel lame. I just lost cool points.

At least your name is not Lesli, because then you get the "Lezzie" "Lesbo" or just "Lez". Not funny anymore. Or my grandpa calls me "Lester", still not cool.

Michael said...

It probably has something to do with the way they say "Hey Johnny Cash." I know friends that have said it and it doesn't bother me...but these couple people drive me nuts.

I had heard the Adam & Eve thing a couple times with friends named Adam...but didn't realize that it was that common. It was SO lame that I couldn't believe it was said that much.

Lesli, you are kinda screwed because lesbian, less, lesson, and lest are pretty much the only LES words with a soft e...plus Lesli doesn't rhyme with anything. Lesbian (or form of) is the obvious choice.

*Lesli* said...

Now I will tell you that I (and the rest of my family) pronounce my name with an "S" sound, not a "Z" sound. It's those people who chose not to pronounce it correctly that come up with the leZZZZbi jokes. HA...lame. No, really it doesn't bother me. After almost 33 years I don't even notice anymore.

Lax Guy said...

Kelly, Adam-12 & Ad-rock are fine. Both take higher levels of thought and are somewhat obscure cultural references (these days anyway). My wife's grandpa calls me Adam-12...
Obvious things like Smelly Kelly and anything lesbian related to Lesli are absolute signs of a moronic douche bag. There should be a law against that.
Not that I am not guilty of playing on people's names. Like my father-in-law and brother-in-law are both "Joe" #2 and #3. We started calling my BiL "Josephina" as a joke when he was little and it got shortened to Fina, which he goes by. Alleviates confusion at home and in public. But I avoid the obvious and only use those types of names in an endearing way after I know somebody and built a strong relationship.