Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Two Minutes Hate

Paranormal Investigation Shows

Not the shows like In Search Of or Monster Quest where they try to gather evidence, talk to witnesses and experts, and give a somewhat balanced report.  What I hate is the Paranormal State, Ghost Hunters, and similar type shows (and there are a lot).  Actually they are kind of entertaining, but what I hate is the whole premise of their investigation.  To me it always sounds like something like this:

"This place has been having various haunting reports for 150 years?  No problem, we are free Saturday night.  Of course we can solve intermittent reports from the past 150 years in one night!  We have cameras...duh."

The entire shows deals with these people tromping around a house/hotel/abandoned whatever with handheld cameras...but also with a camera and sound crew following them and then every so often someone goes "Did you hear that?" and they swing their cameras in the complete opposite direction of what they were looking...yes the cameras are NEVER pointed in the right spot.  And of course as a viewer you don't hear shit!  Then every once in a while someone will say "It just got really cold right here!"  or "Did you see that? It looked like a shadow moving."  Of course, with both of these the home viewer doesn't see anything.  Shadow moving?  Oh darn the camera was looking the wrong way...plus everything just looks black.  You feel cold?  Let's zoom the camera in onto your arm to show the goosebumps.  Riveting television, I tell you.  Later when analyzing their "evidence" they find all these "voices" on their tape recorders...after playing the clip 20 times they say "It sounds like it is saying (insert phrase here - get out, go away, etc...)" and it didn't sound like that the 20 previous times but once they say that, you can't help but hear it.  Half the time I am pretty sure it is the camera guy saying he needs to go take a piss.  It's like backwards masking, it doesn't exist until someone else says it does.

Paranormal State takes this to and even more absurd level.  My favorite part is when they have to call the psychic in.  They you see this exchange "OK, we haven't talked about this and no one has told you anything about it right?" "Right."  You can literally almost hear them winking at each other....know what I mean, nudge, nudge, say no more, wink, wink.  It cracks me up every single time.

Admittedly, I do want to get a K-II EMF meter to play with, even though I am pretty sure it looks just like it works about like my stud finder (actually, my stud finder looks better).

End Hate


Bryan said...

Hey! I have that same stud finder. Obviously, tonight I'll be sitting in my basement with this paranormal device (and no pants) asking the spirits to touch me ... I mean the the device.

Cameron Ted said...

I told you I am going to make a show with you. You can be the psychic. and then we will be like SHOW ME A SIGN, and then you can throw a penny against the wall. and we will all go there is the proof we were looking for. We heard a sound, indisputable proof. QED
Chip Coffey is the biggest Hack of them all

kelly said...

Oh no.

Michael said...

Kelly - you definitely couldn't be using that around Chip...he would set it off from miles away with his gay psychic powers.

Gabby said...

I loved the comment of the EVP's sounding like the cameraman saying he needed to pee. If you want to see a horrible ghost show and completely make fun of it, I'd suggest Most Haunted. It cracks me up every time. Most ridiculous thing EVER.