Monday, March 29, 2010

You Sure Got Me!

Today is a pretty great day weather-wise, so I decided to take a lunch break.  During winter or when the weather is bad, I tend to skip my lunch break and work.  Mainly this is to keep me from spending money that I really don't need to spend, but it also helps make up for the days that I am late to work (read that as EVERY day).

So today is beautiful and I plan to run a few errands.  I am enjoying driving with my windows down and taking in all the beginnings of spring.  I am taking the day at calm, speed-limit (55mph) pace.  However, the pickup truck behind me feels otherwise.  He is driving right on my bumper, and acting like he is going to pass me all the time (which he doesn't do even though there were several opportunities). 

Eventually, we come to a four-way stop.  Myself and a car to the right of me both stopped at the stop sign at the same time.  As I learned in Driver's Ed, the car to your right has the right of way.  So I waved the other driver to go ahead.  This did not sit well with Mr Pickup Truck.  I can see him slam his hands on his steering wheel and complain to his buddy in the passenger seat.  I think to myself,  "Oops, he must really be in a hurry.  Sorry."  After both I an the truck get through the stop sign, he finally decides to pass me...which was one of the worst possible times to pass.  He made it safely past, but I am sure he scared the hell out of the on coming drivers.  I am not surprised to see that he has a decal of Calvin pissing on something in his back window.  That should be the end of the story right?  The pickup speeding off because of the huge hurry he is in.


Not Surprised...

It isn't the end.  Evidently, by driving the speed limit and wasting his precious time by allowing another car to go first at the stop sign, I have caused some sort of grievous injury.  Now that he in front of me, Mr Pickup slows down...55mph, 50mph, 45mph, 40mph.  Even though I am enjoying a leisurely drive, there is a time limit on my lunch break, so once he gets to 40mph, I try to pass.  Mr Pickup Truck then speeds up to 70mph to prevent the pass.  I pull back behind him and I can see him laughing with his buddy.  Whatever...at least we are going the speed limit again. 

Finally, we come to a stop light.  Mr Pickup Truck does not move when the light turns green, for two minutes he sits there to "punish" me...while traffic piles up behind me.  When the light turns yellow, he speeds through it and everyone else has to sit through another red light.  Man, I guess you sure got me!  Lesson learned...oh wait, everyone thinks that you're the asshole in this situation.   Nice try doucher...you made me laugh at your idiocy.

8 comments:

Lax Guy said...

God some people are morons and have no business on the road. Shouldn't we be allowed to public execute people like that? Or at least not allow them to get a license.
Also, those Calvin stickers are a copyright violation. Bill Waterson even filed a lawsuit against a few of their makers. So you know that not only is this guy an asshole, but he is also a criminal in possession of stolen (intellectual) property. Not to mention it is profane and visible to minors.
Probably had a molded ballsack hanging from the back of his truck too...

Cameron Ted said...

I hope you day was ruined, having to enjoy that nice weather for an even longer amount of time. Did you get the license plate? there are ways of finding who it is, and how much air is in their tires. Some times there is way too much and there needs to be less.

Next time I suggest that when that dog runs out in front of you you stop as hard and as fast as possible to make syre that the dog is OK. Of course you know that DBag won't have insurance either..... But there is some solice knowing their one mode of transportation is gone....

Michael said...

Oh my god, that would have been perfect if he had TruckNutz! No such luck...I'm sure he has them on order and they just happened to be out of rust colored to match the truck.

I know those Calvins make me angry...especially when I heard that they weren't licensed. You have to respect Bill W for getting out of the game when it felt right to him and not whoring up the world with a million crappy licensed products. It's just too bad that the unlicensed crap became such a hit with a-holes. I loved Calvin and Hobbes and did have serious misgivings about using the peeing Calvin on my blog.

Michael said...

Yeah, I thought about getting the plate number and all that but then I figured that he will probably Darwin himself soon enough without my help. Seemed like the type of person to get shot in their sleep by their abused gf.

The Fauschanator said...

When I was in Sweden I saw the Calvin stikers peeing on Volvo or SAAB symbols. That was funny.

Cameron Ted said...

I could paint you one to use on the palm if you like....

kelly said...

Shocking how you so wantonly dismiss the importance of this means of communication.

'Peeing Calvin' Decals Now Recognized As Vital Channel Of National Discourse

Anonymous said...

This happens to me whenever I'm in the car. What do you expect? When my f'ing car has a "baby on board" sticker, I'm going to drive the damn speed limit.